Milan, Boskowitz, Libuse

		ACT 1

 * A small two room Smichov apartment.	
	
	Milan: "Bearer of bad news comes. Always 
		on time."

	Boskowitz: "Two hours late. As is 
		tradition. I had to walk. Car's 
		been towed, your father is still 
		dying and our rent's gone up."

	Milan: "Ah, the unpredictability of 
		life. One can't be mad."

	Boskowitz: "Unpredictability? You just 
		won't park right, your father's 
		been riddled with cancer for the 
		past 12 years and apparently we 
		haven't been reading our mail 
		for just as long."

	Milan: "I didn't even know we had a 
		mailbox. How bad is it?"

	Boskowitz: "Pretty bad. You remember the 
		despairing homeless guy you 
		pitied every time we went to 
		Liberal? The one who claimed to 
		have pissed himself for the 
		first time, every time."

	Milan: "Yes! The amusing feller. I bet 
		he must have remembered us and 
		simply played along for the 
		joke. 'Oh dear sirs, you 
		wouldn't believe what has 
		befallen me today for the first 
		time in all my 45 years of 
		street life.' Hilarious!"

	Boskowitz: "Right. You never hesitated 
		to give him change for his act 
		either /every time/. It just 
		might be us now."

	Milan: "Pissing our pants and playing 
		the sentimental?"

	Boskowitz: "Right again."

	Milan: "Makes me think - maybe the guy 
		was mentally ill. Couldn't 
		actually remember soiling 
		himself. What of the car?"

	Boskowitz: "You parked on a recharging 
		spot."

	Milan: "I've been telling you the 
		electric automobiles will be the 
		death of us one day! From the 
		moment they outlawed the 
		/gas-guzzlers/ I've been very 
		vocal about the gross attack on 
		our liberties. Now you see!"

	Boskowitz: "I never disagreed, if only 
		for different reasons. But this 
		is very clearly your fault."

	Milan: "And the fascists upstairs. Used 
		to be one could park wherever he 
		pleased. As for the rent - we 
		have been leaving most of the 
		agreed upon sum under the 
		landlord's door on the first of 
		every month, give or take."

	Boskowitz: "That seems to have been of 
		no benefit to us when we were 
		supposed to have been paying 
		nearly a double of that for the 
		past 3 months. Now we're this 
		close from dining on cat food 
		AND pissing our pants."

	Milan: "It'll work out. I'm not 
		worried."
	
	Boskowitz: "Your stoicism is admirable, 
		but I fail to see how you could 
		be this calm.

	Milan:	"At least I'm no immigrant."

	Boskowitz: "This is my apartment."

	Milan:	"Not for long."

	* Someone knocks on the door.	

	Milan: "That's Libuse. I'll get it."

	Boskowitz: "I don't think we have time 
		to spare for your fiendish 
		friends just now."
	
	Milan: "You're comically irritable when 
		you're despairing. I'm sure 
		she'll have some good news with 
		her. To balance the scales."

	* Milan gets up from the couch and makes 
	his way through the apartment to the 
	front door. Libuse stands there, soaked, 
	clutching her purse. She's been recently 
	crying.

	Libuse: "Hi..."

	Boskowitz (from the other room): "Good 
		news?"

	Milan: "Hey, you. What's got your pretty 
		face down?"

	Libuse: "I was fired..."

	* Beer bottle cracks open in the back.

	Milan (comforting her): "There there, 
		it's okay. What can we do for 
		you?"

	Libuse: "The FACTORYHEAD threw me out of 
		my apartment. I need to stay 
		at your place. Please!"

	Boskowitz: "Marcus Antonine here was too 
		hungover to visit his dying 
		father, so he sent me to check 
		up on him and bring him his 
		favorite beer. Alas, the car has 
		been towed, so I had to take the 
		tram. That's when I got caught 
		by the RE-VISORs."

	Milan: "You didn't even mention that! 
		Fascinating."
	
	Boskowitz: "I wasn't quite finished by 
		the time she made herself known. 
		Anyway, I arrived late, much, 
		much too late."