Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 15:15:36 -0600
From: jang@eaze.net
Subject: toy (revised)

This story has sexual scenes involving a change of gender.  If this type
of story offends you, or if you are under age, or laws in your area
prohibit reading this type of material, please do not read the story.
If you have any comments regarding this story please e-mail me at
jang@eaze.net


TOY (revised)
by Angela J.

 I wonder how long she had been watching me and planning her game? At first I
thought I was extremely lucky. Then I thought luck was against me. Then I
learned that it was all part of her plan.  A plan that would change my life
forever.

 I was extremely happy and surprised to receive a letter offering a permanent
attorney position with Smith, Williams, and Associates, a small law firm, in
Dallas, Texas. Despite the fact that it required me to move away from Denver, I
quickly accepted the offer.

  Smith, Williams and Associates, was not one of the more prestigious firms in
the United States. In fact I never heard of it until I read the ad in my law
school's paper. However the job market in Denver was rough the year I graduated
from law school, and despite applying with many firms in Denver, I was unable
to find a permanent position. The only work I was able to find was temporary
work. Most of the jobs were clerical and few involved legal research. Although
I was able to make a living doing the temporary work, I got increasingly
depressed with my condition. I went to law school with great expectations, and
not to just make a living. I never expected to be without a permanent position
one year after graduation. But the economy was bad and my grades were not that
great.

 I wanted to blame others for my misfortune but honestly it was all my fault.
I was lazy at school.  It was a rare occasion when I even read my assignments
for the day.  Other students read their assignments and other study aids.  They
even met in study groups to enhance their grades.  But I thought that I could
do well just by cramming at last minute as I did during my under graduate
years.

 During the exam week of my first semester at the law school, I learned that
cramming for a law school exam was allot more difficult than I anticipated.
There was just too much material to memorize in a short time. It was too
difficult.  Unfortunately for me the semester grades in law school is based
solely on the final exam.  Therefore I did not get any test results during the
semester to warn me to study harder.  So I was surprised when I received mostly
Cs in my first semester.  The poor grades depressed me and I knew then that I
could never catch up to the other students in my class. After all, first year
grades determined whether or not you would be selected for the law review
honors.  And even if my grades improved in later semesters, it would be
extremely difficult to overcome my first semester grades.  I reasoned that it
was too late to make any difference because I would need excellent grades to
get into the top third of my class.  Instead of changing my ways, I continued
to be lazy and only studied enough to pass my classes.

 Furthermore, my shy personality left me without any friends and therefore
without any connections. I skipped all the social events at school and spent my
free time either watching television or playing video games. I was leading a
lonely stagnant existence.

 So when it came time to graduate and study for the bar, I found myself without
any job offers. For what seemed like one-millionth time, I responded to various
ads in my school's paper. My hope was very low, and I expected to either never
hear from the firms or to receive a letter of rejection. All of the advertised
jobs, including the job with Smith, Williams and Associates, required at least
one year of full time work experience and/or required the candidate to graduate
in the top third of the class. I unfortunately had very little legal experience
and graduated in the bottom halve of my class.  All my previous applications
were fruitless.  So you can understand, my great joy at opening the letter
offering me an attorney position.

 The letter stated that the job was being offered on a trial basis. The
permanency of the job would be conditioned on me passing the Texas bar by next
year, and my satisfactory job performance. The conditions, in my mind were only
formalities. They simply meant that I had to work hard my first year.  My
grades had suffered due to my laziness but I knew that I had the intelligence
to become a great lawyer and all was needed was hard work.  I reasoned that I
learned the lesson that laziness produces failure.  I was ready to work hard
and expected a great career.

 This job offered a salary of $45,000.00 a year and promised promotions in the
future.  My future was finally looking good.  Despite my bad decisions, I was
lucky.  It had never occurred to me that my good fortune of finding a job would
lead me to a trap.

 I visited the firm and met with all the staff and the attorneys, including Mr.
Smith at Smith, Williams, and Associates. He was surprisingly a young man. My
guess was that he was barely over thirty. He must have been brilliant to become
a senior partner of a twelve-attorney firm at a such an early age.  When I
spoke with him it was obvious that he had more than intelligence going for
him.  He was extremely personable.  It seemed that everyone at the law firm
respected and liked him.  However his popularity and intelligence intimidated
me a little.  I wanted desperately to impress him so that I could earn his
respect.  But my clumsy attempts to make him like me only backfired and made me
look foolish.

 Curiously, all the attorneys were male and all the legal assistants and
secretaries were females. But I did not think much of it at the time.  I guess
I was a little chauvinistic in my view feeling that males were superior to
female.  The fact that many females had better grades at school did not change
my view.  After all I did not do my best during school.  I was certain that if
I worked hard, very few females could beat me in anything.

 Another strange thing was that Mr. Williams was no where to be seen. However,
I merely assumed that he was on vacation or assignment somewhere.

 One week after my visit, I moved into an efficiency near the office, and
started work.
The work was demanding and the hours long. My work mostly involved drafting
motions, and responding to discovery requests. Despite staying after hours, and
doing my best, my work seemed to be inadequate. The attorney that checked my
work, often looked at me with disappointment.
Right before the deadline, my supervisor would redo the work and ultimately
file documents that looked nothing like the ones I drafted. Worse yet, I had to
sit during meetings, while my supervisor gave his report to all the attorneys
on how I was doing. I felt like an incompetent fool. If I had an option, I
would have quit. But I was stuck in Dallas because I signed a year lease with
my apartment complex and had no other job offers. I was sure I could last at
least a year and here I was less than a month from fist date at work and I
already wanted to quit and feared getting fired.

 Because I was frustrated with my inabilities, I treated the support staff like
shit. I often yelled at them for no reason. My life was hell, so why not make
my underlings life a living hell as well? Between my constant mistakes, my bad
treatment of the support staff, and my lack of social skills, I managed to make
no friends at the law firm. I constantly ate alone during lunch hours.
Furthermore I never received any invitations to office parties. The only reason
I knew about the parties was because I overheard conversations about them. The
fact that I was isolated from others in the office, made me more grouch and
therefore more of an asshole to the staff.

 My life outside the office was not much better.  Due to the long hours that I
put into my work, I had little time to meet friends.  In fact, other than one