The year is 2021, and I was thinking about getting a device to play my
music collection.  I had simple requirements:

    * It must be Internet-connected, so it can receive arbitrary
      firmware updates that risk bricking the thing "in the name of
      security"

    * It must use that connectivity to regularly upload information
      of its choosing, without informing me or telling me /what/
      information, /to whom/ it is being sent, or /how/ that
      information will be used.

    * It must be a vendor-tied device, that works
      /only/exclusively/ with that vendor's own music catalog,
      purchasing system, hardware, and software. It must be
      crippled to the point of frustration or uselessness if the
      user tries to use any other system, software, or device with
      it.

   * It must work only with my personal music collection; my wife must be
     obliged to buy her own device, so it can be managed with as tight a fist
     with no risk of any music co-mingling, sharing, or other shenanigans.

    * It must play only music that has been verified and/or
     purchased from that vendor. If the user tries to listen to
     music obtained from any other source, channel, or
     platform, it must refuse to play it, or insist on specious
     "authenticity" checks that scare me into doing the right
     thing, which is of course, buying only from the
     one-approved vendor mentioned above.  For bonus points,
     said authenticity checks should allude to but not specify
     various reporting scenarios or device-crippling scenarios
     that appear scary as hell and not worth the risk.

   * Eventually, a mandatory firmware upgrade should render the
     device useless despite the hardware being in good
     shape. For example, the firmware update should require a
     partner software on my laptop to also be upgraded, which
     is impossible on my existing hardware.  This scheme
     requires me to buy a new fucking laptop in order to update
     the laptop software so I can apply the firmware upgrade to
     the device, which probably also results in a slower, more
     frustrating user experience that suggests I should also
     buy a new device.


Instead, I bought this sweet little Chinese-made device that simply
allows me to install and listen to my enormous collection of digital
music.  Wait, the Chinese manufactures are supposed to be the bad
guys, right?  Right?

If you haven't already drowned in my sarcasm, allow me to spell it
out: American consumers have gotten accustomed to the world of
electronics requiring infinite sacrifices, compromises, and loss of
agency, all in the name of quality, security, or trendiness.  Not
until you escape the bubble do you realize that /one hundred fucking
percent/ of this modern world is imposed by business-, not technical
decisions.  And don't even get me started on the idea of streaming
music.  How did we get bullied into thinking renting access to music,
at terms imposed by corporations who can and will alter the terms
periodically, such as increasing the price, was a good idea?  It's
exhausting and is making this aged nerd angry. Also a negative against
streaming: watch the face of any nerd on the subway as the train goes
underground/into a tunnel and the internet connection drops.  Ha ha,
suck it, nerd!

    
About this device: It came well-rated, cost about $40, and is pretty
simple.  You load it with MP3, FLAC, or OGG format digital music, and
then listen to it. You can create playlists on the fly, sort by genre,
artist, album, or song, fast forward and rewind, repeat one or all,
and everything else you'd want to do.  It has a wired headphone
connection but also has bluetooth. And it has a few other things I
hadn't expected: it can read EPUB digital books for example, and has a
little calendar. You can even play MP4 videos on its little screen if
you want to.  I don't need any of those things.  The big draw is that
of the bullet list above, this little device avoids all those
annoyances.  A few other great features:

    * The battery lasts longer than I do. I took it on a car trip and
      listened to music all day for four days, and the battery barely
      hit 85%. Not sure how long the battery lasts, but compared to my
      cellphone where listening to music on the airplane risks
      arriving at my destination with no battery, this is incredible.
      I'd call it world-changing, except /this is the world we gave
      up/, for fuck's sake.

    * It operates off mini SD cards. It came with 32 MB but you can
      put in a larger one you want, and if the media get damaged or
      corrupted, rather than throwing out your
      /intentionally-obsolete/ device, you just insert a new chip and
      get back to life.  The amount of digital landfill waste
      generated by fancy American companies makes me sick to the
      stomach.  You can actually fix this thing.

    * It operates off a standard cellphone battery. If the battery
      stops holding a charge you can open it up and replace the
      battery.

    * You can add songs to it by connecting it to your computer,
      where it opens like a standard USB stick allowing you to cut,
      copy, and paste. Or you can remove the chip and insert /that/
      into your computer.  Whatever. Piece of cake.  No fancy
      desktop connection software required.
    
    * If I want to load it up for a trip with a mix of my MP3s, my
      wife's MP3s, and my dog's OGGs, I can.
  
There are a few negatives, but compared to the above, I scarcely care
enough to write about them.  In sum: the build quality of the device
is cheap. That's why it cost $40 and not $200. It's not waterproof,
since the chip and headphone jacks are exposed.  And the
software/menus are a bit clunky by the standard of the ipod
clickwheel, which truly was amazing.  But I'm willing to give all that
up in exchange for battery life and the long list of features above.
  
Finally, here's what drove the purchase: I was taking a long car trip,
and my wife was doing the DJ work using my device. Of course, every
time she wanted to change tracks I had to unlock the phone for her
with my fingerprint.  Ridiculous.  This little device solved that
problem, while reminding me that most of the rest of our problems are
a direct result of corporate greed.  Know of any technology companies
worth trillions of dollars, or CEOs/tech startup gurus worth millions?
Yeah, I thought so.  This angry nerd is off to listen to some sweet
tunes while further planning going off-grid once and for all.  Suck
it, Silicon Valley (Wait, I thought California was protecting us from
the evil Chinese.  Right? Right?)