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date: 07/13/2024
subj: comment 07132024_063205
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long ago nastalgia:
This week I watched some youtubes about MSDOS and FreeDos. I've been looking for
something interesting to watch on the tubes but is computer related. I get ill
from too much doomesday or modern stuff. I know FreeDos is modern but its old
too in a way. When I say old I mean 1980's. 

My brother and I used to compute out. Games, stuff like Xcom, doom, SSI's dark
queen stuff, pool of radiance, eye of the beholder, wing commander, Ultima 5,
and many others. Although there was a lot of games, it was just games. It was
BBS as well. As I think about this, I don't really know what the nastalgia is
about. Its not the games, although they were there, and fun, it was something
more. Maybe friends, and adventure into some unseen space like a dream in an
individuals mind, but it wasn't just an individual it was a shared dream. Many
times it was my younger brother and I. Other times it was with friends. All the
adventure in the space we shared was a time that felt novel and free. The games
and hardware wasn't free, and the time wasted wasn't free, and now that I'm so
much older, time is so fleeting and passes so fast, its much more valuable to
me. Still the imprint etched in my mind is there and I always long for it but
I can't re-create it. It was a time I look back on and miss, and I wish I could
tell my brother how much it ment to me, and how much I reval in it. I wish I
could tell my friend Eric C, how much it meant to me and miss our time together
I can't recreate thos times :( . 

I miss feeling more freedom, and adventur, even if its in space the size of a
closet, my brother, bernard, manni, Eric, myself. I'll always be thinking of
you.