| "Friends Explained" "A Very Special 'Dilbert'." "Close friends."
"May I borrow your gum?" "Sure, reach in and take what you need."
"Buddies" "May I borrow your hammer?" "Why not use your forehead as
usual?" "Work Friends" "So, how's your wife?" "Dead, same as last
week." "Boyfriend/girlfriend (stereotypical view)" "Love." "Lust."
"Boyfriend/girlfriend (modern correct view)" "Lust." "Television."
"Platonic friends" "Television?" "Lust." "Man's Best Friend" "By
my estimate there are 2.6 billion females who do NOT desire you."
"Name them."
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