Bitter  after  being  snubbed  for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya,
China,  and  Syria  today  announced  they  had formed the "Axis of Just as
Evil,"  which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North
Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Axis  of  Evil  members,  however,  immediately  dismissed  the new axis as
having,  for  starters,  a  really  dumb  name.   "Right.  They are Just as
Evil...in   their  dreams!"  declared  North  Korean  leader  Kim  Jong-il.
"Everybody  knows  we're  the best evils...  best at being evil...we're the
best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although
they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

"They  told  us  it  was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.  "An
Axis  can't  have  more  than  three  countries," explained Iraqi President
Saddam Hussein.  "This is not my rule, it's tradition.  In World War II you
had  Germany,  Italy,  and  Japan  in the evil Axis.  So, you can only have
three, and a secret handshake.  Ours is wickedly cool."

International  reaction  to  Bush's  Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what
became a game of geopolitical chairs.

Cuba,  Sudan,  and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil,"
forcing   Somalia  to  join  with  Uganda  and  Myanmar  in  the  "Axis  of
Occasionally  Evil,"  while  Bulgaria,Indonesia  and Russia established the
"Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."

With  the  criteria  suddenly  expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up...Sierra  Leone,  El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis
of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the
Olympics."

Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually
Quite  Nice  But  Secretly  Have  Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while
Scotland,  New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be
Allowed  to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just
something  we  like  to  do,"  said  Scottish Executive First Minister Jack
McConnell.

While  wondering  if  the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
fun  of  him,  a  cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he
rejected  the  establishment  of  the  Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
"Guay,"  accusing  one  of  its  members  of  filing  a  false application.
Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately,
world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.