The Sun Will Come Out...

Tomorrow is my big date, the first session with my new psych. To say
that I'm a bit nervous is an understatement. I'm on the precipice of
hope. I believe that somehow, I will get the help that I need. Or I
hope so. I believe that I won't particularly enjoy the help, but I
have to keep in mind how much I don't enjoy my present state of mind,
and weigh the benefits.

In the meantime, I've been living with more and more interruption,
which has begun to interfere with my work and my life in general.
Jeffrey seems sympathetic, but he is also a big part of the problem,
and I believe Jonathan and Marcus both listen to him, on some level.
Jonathan is constantly curious and wants me to teach him things.
Marcus is a constant distraction, and has used at least one social
media account as well as my phone (via text messaging) to send
messages to people I know.

And, of course, on some level, I know it's me. It's all me. But still,
that seems hard to believe when you're staring at someone in the face,
someone you've known for years, and he's as real as anyone else.

Which is why I need medication.