proxy70

Secret Contents of a Certain Government Warehouse
Version 0.1

Compiled by Stirling Westrup
At stirling@ozrout.uucp

This file attempts to catalog and describe the contents of a particular secret government warehouse. In the movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark", this warehouse was the final resting place of the Ark of the Covenant. Likewise, the first episode of the "War of the Worlds" TV series shows that the Martian war machines from the first invasion attempt were also stored in this warehouse.

This file is in its preliminary stages still. The first dozen or so entries have been done in more or less the format that I would eventually like the whole list to follow. I haven't had time to do more than a first pass over the rest of the list, but folks are clamoring for a progress report, so I figured I'ld post what I've accomplished so far. Anyone who wants to help out by sending details, corrections or new entries should see the section on editorial policy, to make this compiler's life a bit easier.

Background
The world is actually being run by a coalition of secret societies and cabals, known (to a few) as the Global Conspiracy. This group long ago decided that certain knowledges and materials are too disruptive to be allowed to fall into subversive hands. These materials were also considered to be too potentially useful to be destroyed. Instead, a secret warehouse was established in which to store these dangerous items and a covert task force, known as the Collection Agency, was formed to oversee their procurement and storage. This task force has grown increasingly more conservative over the years, and as a result, many items have been stored away on the pretext that it is better to be safe than sorry. If the Collection Agency determines that you have an object that would be better off in more responsible hands, then you would be well advised to simply give it up. Remember, they have the full resources of the warehouse to back them up, should they become desperate.

The Warehouse
The Warehouse is a huge structure, divided into three major areas. Each area is used to hold items which present different storage problems. The first area is for items which require no special treatment, the second area is for items that need to be kept cold in order to be properly preserved, and the third area is for items which require a constant power supply. A crude ASCII map should give the right idea:

Area 'A', the first area is, by far, the largest. It is maintained at a constant temperature of 15 C (60 F) and a constant humidity of 10%.

Area 'B' is an enormous refrigerator. It is separated from the Area 'A' by a wall of insulated panels. The panels are mounted in tracks on the floor and ceiling, and are hinged where they join. They can be folded away so as to form a large opening for cargo to be moved in or out. There is a motor provided for this purpose, with controls on the only section of the right hand wall of Area 'A' that is not mobile. At each end of the refrigerator is a normal sized door to allow folks in or out without having to move the walls. The interior of the refrigerator is kept at a frigid -60 C (-76 F) at all times.

Area 'C' is just slightly smaller than Area 'B'. It contains all of the items which require some form of active environmental protection. This includes all machinery which the collection agency could not (or dared not) turn off. This section also houses all of the equipment that is regularly used by the warehouse, or its staff. Like Area 'B', this area also has mobile walls, and a motor to move them.
Packaging
Any item in Area 'A' of the warehouse that is smaller than about 3m (10 feet) on a side is sealed in a wooden crate. There are several huge crates in the area but most of the larger items are either laying exposed on pallets, or are covered by tarpaulins. No crate is smaller than 60 cm (2 feet) on a side, regardless of the size of the contents. All crates are strongly reinforced, since they are stacked 20 deep in places.

All of the items in the refrigerated section are sealed in crates to avoid ice evaporation. This is a storage regulation, so even articles which contain no ice, but need to be stored cold, will be in crates.

There are far fewer items in section 'C', than in the other sections. Since the items in this section require some sort of constant upkeep, none of them are stored in crates. Instead, each item has a custom metal cabinet that folds aside to reveal the contents. All of the cabinets are locked, and only the custodian has the keys. (The cabinets would not be particularly difficult to break into). A few of the truely large items in this area are not fully enclosed, but merely have a cabinet built around their control sections.
Markings
Most crates and cabinets in the warehouse bare no markings other than a standard identification code. A few containers have warnings about fragile contents, or which end must be placed up. Workers in this warehouse have been thoroughly impressed by the dangers of ignoring these warnings. As a consequence, all warnings, no matter how strange, are rigidly followed.

The identification codes that are used is a varient on the standard US military scheme. Each code is in the form:

XXX-NNNN-PP
where XXX is a three letter code, NNNN is a item number within that three-letter code grouping, and PP is an optional part number for items which have been disassembled and stored in several crates. Most crates have a four digit item number, since less than 10,000 items were expected to be found in any one category. In the cases where this has proved false, extra digits have been added.

The three letter codes are interpreted as follows:

First letter - Purpose

A Analysis Object analyzes or describes other objects
B Battle Object is intended to be used in battle
C Control Object extends users control to other objects
D Data Object contains or is a large collection of information
E Evidence Object is evidence supporting a theory or claim
F Specimen Object is to be subjected to further investigation later
G Generation Object produces matter or energy
H Repair Object maintains or repairs other objects
I Invocation Object helps secure a supernatural being's favor or blessing
J Enjoyment Object is designed to bring pleasure or entertain.
K Transformation Object converts one thing into another
L Logic Object performs calculations or computations.
M Model Object is a (possibly working) scale model of something
N Nourishment Object is intended to provide food
O Observation Object gathers information via some sensing method
P Propulsion Object is intended to move objects it is attached to
Q Duplication Object is intended to replicate other objects
R Regulation Object governs the actions of another object
S Summoning Object produces the physical form of a supernatural being
T Transportation Object moves material, while remaining stationary
U Universal Object is capable of an enormous range of operations
V Vehicle Object's main purpose is transportation of people or cargo
W Misc Any purpose not covered elsewhere.
X Unknown No known purpose for this object
Y Not applicable Concept of purpose is not compatible with this object
Z Reflexive Object provides purpose

Second letter - Principal of Operation

A Atomic Works by harnessing nuclear forces
B Biological Object is biological, or has biological components
C Complex Machine Uses electronic, electric and mechanical principles
D Divine works due to intersession of a supernatural force or god
E Electromagnetic Works due to electromagnetic principals
F Flow Works by controlling flow of a substance
G Gravitic Works by harnessing Gravitational forces
H Modifies Laws Works by modifying physical laws
I Inert Object is an inert substance with interesting properties
J Chemical Object works by chemical reactions
K Kinetic Works through manipulation of kinetic energy
L Logic Flaw Object works despite the fact that it clearly cannot
M Magical Object uses mystical forces
N Nanotechnology Object is constructed of billions of tiny robots
O Physical Law Works by obeying simple laws of physics (eg. boats float)
P Psychic Operates using mental energy
Q Quantum Works at a sub-atomic level
R Recursive Object works due to effects caused by its operation
S Simple Machine Works via cogs, levers, pulleys, springs, etc.
T Temporal Object manipulates time
U Solid State Object is a solid-state electronic device
V Environmental Object interacts with its environment in unique ways
W Misc Any operating principal not covered elsewhere
X Unknown No known pricipal of operation
Y Not applicable Principal of operation is not an object-compatible concept
Z Reflexive Object is acted upon, it does not act itself

Third letter - Method of Use

A Autonomous Object is self activated and self controlled
B Bi-state Object is either OFF or ON, it has no other controls
C Consumed Object must be consumed or injected to have effect
D Directed Object accepts commands and attempts to carry them out
E Extension Object behaves as an extension of the users body
F
G
H Hand operated Object's control surface is manipulated by hand
I Installed Object must be installed or inserted in other equipment
J
K
L Logic Program Object must be carefully programmed before use
M Material Object is a raw material in some process
N
O
P Piloted Object requires continuous operation of controls to function
Q
R Ritualistic Object is operated by ritual gestures, words or activities
S
T Telepathic Object obeys thoughts or desires of user
U Uncontrolled Object is in continuous operation, and cannot be turned off
V
W Misc Methods of use not covered elsewhere
X Unknown No method of use is known for this object
Y Not applicable Method of Use is not a concept compatible with this object
Z Reflexive Object controls user

Entry Format
The idividual entries that follow are all in the same form:

XXX-NNNN-PP Area AAA CCCCC SSSxSSSxSSS WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Where:

XXX-NNNN-PP is the identification code
AAA is the storage area, one of: 'A', 'B' or 'C'
CCCCC is the container type, one of: Crate, Tarp, Pallet or Cabinet
SSS is the size in centimeters (length, then width, then height)
WWWWWWWWWW is any warning text that may be on the container
TTTTTTTTTT is detailed explanatory text on the object

Eventually, all measurements will be in both metric and imperial. Bare with me.
Warehouse Contents

IDR-5626 Area 'A' Crate 150x200x150
Ark of the Covenant

Called the "Aron Haberit" in Hebrew, this ornate, gold-plated wooden chest
was built to hold the two tablets given to Moses by God. The Ark was only ever
opened by the High Priest of the Temple during Yom Kippur. The Isrealites
occasionaly took the Ark into battle with them to insure the favor of God.
As shown in the movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark", anyone opening the Ark would
release Angelic beings so beautiful that those looking upon them would die.
Presumably there are other uses for the Ark.
[[ I know nothing about Jewish culture, or Christian theology, so the above was
taken from memories of the movie, and my Encyclopedia. ]]

RFI-0076 Area 'A' Crate 60x60x60
100 MPG Carburetor

This automobile carburetor makes use of venturi vortex phenomena in order to
provide a gas/fuel mixture which is much leaner than provided by an ordinary
carburetor, but which, nevertheless, burns just as well. This leads to
greatly increased gas mileage, as much as a 350% improvement in many cases.
This item has been long suppressed, since the fuel shortage is a major method
used to control the world populace.
[[ I've heard of this gadget hundreds of times. Does anyone have a more
'authoritative' description, than my memory? ]]

BCP-0109 Area 'A' Pallet 600x600x400
Martian War Machines
(3)
After the failed Martian invasion at [[was it Sutters Mill??]] in [[???]]
as described by Orson Wells in his classic broadcasts, several of the Martian
war machines were recovered and placed in the warehouse. A successful coverup
campaign managed to convince most of the world that the broadcasts had been a
hoax, or a radio play.

FBY-0003 Area 'B' Crate 250x200x75
Dead Martians
(3)
Each of the Martian War Machines (see PCB-0107) had a crew of [[2??]] and
after the crew had succumbed to Earthly diseases, the bodies were collected for
examination. Three bodies were preserved for future research.

VXP-0015-?? Area 'A'
Parts of a cut up UFO from "My Science Project"

TTL-0002 Area 'A'
Smashed pieces of the time gizmo from "The Philedelphia Experiment"

GAI-0001
Engine that runs on tap water

G[CSEL][BU]- Area 'A'
A whole bunch of perpetual motion dohickeys