4th January 2022 - Return To Work
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Well it had to end at some point.. I returned to work after being off 
since 10th December. It was a great chunk of time which was a happy 
accident of always booking the week before Christmas off and having 
been unable to take a week off in November. Last year involved only 
being able to work time in lieu as opposed to over time and so that 
racked up the holiday too. I found it strange logging back in again 
and having the panic of whether I remembered the myriad of passwords. 
This time was 100% pass without a call to IT. Well I only had to call 
IT once about this and that was because I hadn't logged in for a month 
and so the account was locked. One of the strange feelings I had was a 
sense of what the fuckery. What was I working on last year? What do I 
need to do now? My notes were not the most helpful. They had some 
immediate tasks but not the direction. Then I remembered... I have no 
direction and that was what made me glad for the time off. As ever, I 
think the break has helped. A quick mind mapping (writing stream of 
conciousness onto paper below a questioning title) and I had an idea. 
Yes other than 'I don't want to be sitting here'. I have a plan now. 
It is mostly useless. Most plans are useless. However, it feels like I 
have an idea of what I need to do to move towards a target. Stream of 
conciousness writing is something I find helps alot. It gets the 
excited monkey to focus a little and information flows onto the page, 
creating something to read and consider rather than trying to make 
sense of ideas bouncing around in the head. Order is created and so 
sense can be made. Never read back over the stream of conciousness and 
expect it to make sense. It occasionaly can make sense but the point 
of the exercise is in the here and now. I have found typing does not 
work as well. There is a greater urge to edit and refine compared to 
writing on paper. I do wonder if it is worth getting an eink note 
device.