# The third heaven
C.S Lewis once said "We don't have a soul. We are a soul. We have a body." I avoid afternoon naps. I get sleep paralysis. It is frequent and consistent. It may occur several times during a nap as I drift in and out of awake and sleep states. Apparently people I spoke to have experienced similar symptoms. I even know when it's coming, a particular feeLg as I lay in bed about to drift into sleep. I'm sure many can explain it scientifically, certain Lks in the brain to do with consciousness get enabled faster than one of the other. In this moment of paralysis, my mind is conscious. I can feel myself breathing but I cannot control my breathing. I attempt to take deep breaths but fail to do so, and in this awkward moment of fear I begin to have cold sweat, my heart begins to pound rapidly. I cannot control my body, occasionally I think I can move my fingers and toes, and even several occasions I tried to roll my body off the bed onto the floor in attempt to awake, only to wake up still in bed in fetal position
. I can feel my body against the mattress of my bed. There were times when my saliva began to accumulate in my mouth, and as it flowed down the back of my throat, my breaths became shallower, and with each breathe becoming smaller I lay there in fear of impending death. There were also instances where due to the placement of bed peripherals and sleeping position, coupled with a blocked nasal passage way, my breaths again were shallow, and without conscious control of my body, it is a fear so gripping I cannot begin to describe, because it often has to do with a lack of control, it has to do with death.

I don't have a soul. I have a soul. I am a body. Perhaps this is how hell is like. Except we don't wake up. I remember after I fractured my right forearm back in 97, the immediate feeLg was not pain, but shock as I saw my disfigured arm. Later on I learnt that our bodies has its own painkilLg mechanism to cope with immediate bodily trauma, as reported by surfers who had their legs bitten off by sharks. The pain came only later, but not immediate. In hell we won't have a body to provide painkilLg mechanisms. Our bodies will be buried, or likely cremated, but our souls continue to live on eternally. I believe this experience of sleep paralysis will be similar, except we wouldn't be lying on a mattress, and instead replaced by an awareness of extreme heat, thirst, pain, torment, tears, and as mentioned gnashing of teeth.

Then the mockers will say no body means no brain and without a brain there would not be consciousness, right? I guess there's only one way to find out and eventually we will. I choose to believe otherwise.

Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.