I guess I chose well? I can still feel your scent in my room. Or
I'm simply going slowly crazy. Whatever.

Thinking of it, now I understand how you are not the kind of
girl on which to base my emotional stability. I don't know if
it's just because we don't really know eachother so well, but 
you do really seem scared of something, or never really happy.

This hurts me a little, but on the other hand actually requires
me to be <<The Man>>, the one with self-esteem and apparently no
fear to fail or be rejected. Which I should learn to do.

On the other side, I'm still kind of confused on how I got it to
work between us. You know, after your <<We don't really know
eachother>> speech, I kind of failbacked to my "friend-mode",
the one in which I think all is doomed, I just relax and try to
have a less awkward conversation to end the date without such a
bitter taste. Yep, already been there.

Was it this that lightened you up? After that, my whole ego was
hanging from your finger playing with my hand, only symptom of
your attraction. If I've learned something is to act natural-ish
like try to kiss you when I felt like it. Helped by the fact
that you only rejected me with your words, not physically.

Was it my (desperate) persistence? What was it? The fact that
you're giving me no feedbacks is making this game even more
playable and interesting.

I am the lab rat and the mad scientist.

Addendum: what also helps is to stop sometimes and think: when
will it happen to me again to be switching back and forth from
Italian and German with a cute girl on a boat, whilst
conversing with a (probably) homeless old hippie about toxic
nuclear waste and the cost of building new reactors? The answer
is probably never, but I've learned that my life could be made
of little comic situations like these, if I wanted.