thanks Sash Dias - the not drinking at a bar is a great analogy
   for the same idea -- i think it takes working on creating a
   strong Inner Life. The same is true if people are hurling
   insults at you. Most people will give a "knee-jerk" reaction and
   fight back, or cry or run. But if you can KNOW that what they
   are saying isn't the truth, then you can handle it because then
   it just becomes "blah b...lah blah" in your ears - the ravings
   of crazy people. that's how I learned to handle insults at
   school as a teenager: They're wrong about me, they're crazy or
   misinformed but if they don't listen to me the 1st time I
   correct them, then I don't have to pay attention to what they're
   saying. It's hard to learn - but it's do-able... "