it's probably because i want to be santa claus, make everybody
   happy and i haven't the slightest idea how. i want the best for
   people and do what i can with what i know how to do to try to
   increase happiness for others but then i never know if i'm doing
   the right things, the wrong things, or its best to do nothing
   and try not to worry about it. i'll probably never figure it
   out, really. "