I barely stick to my own plan. By the time I get around to
   trimming it, I've got hair puffing out in strange places, some
   bits randomly covering my lips so they get in the way when I
   eat, and I don't care.

   It's only when someone goes, "Ken, your beard" then I'm like...
   OK FINE! with a grump, and take an easy 5 minutes to upkeep.
   Even as easy as it is, I still hate it.

   I also keep a pair teeny-tiny stainless steel cuticle scissors I
   think they are (I was looking for the tiniest scissors I could
   find - had to look in the nail-trimming section but I found 'em)
   - and I trim my mustache with it real fast so I can get away
   without even using the dog trimmer on my face.

   Sooooo lazy about hair upkeep... tongue emoticon