Yeah, it's not letting you let go of it and the thought doesn't
   pass until it passes. I timed my anxiety attacks (I don't like
   the phrase because it _sounds_ like nothing but it _feels like_
   something indescribable. I don't even want to think about
   current triggers; the _mere thought_ of getting into that state
   sometimes brings it on).

   Anyway, I found for me the chemicals seems to last around 30-40
   minutes. I used to think it was 20 but i was fooling myself. I
   have to get away from everybody and everything for that period
   of time. At various jobs, I'd sometimes go to the bathroom stall
   and just... sit there if it came upon me. Awful stuff.

   The timing of it doesn't help much while it's going on but it
   heps somewhat. For me, it's kind of a manic state, all senses on
   overload. It's not a mental torture for me but it's physical
   like all the nerves on my skin are screaming simultaneously for
   attention and nothing I can do will stop them.

   So, I look at the clock. I know when it will end. But I don't
   believe it while it's going on. It's a private hell, one I don't
   talk about because I have that "I am man who has shit together.
   Me no have problem." thing.

   It sounds different than what you deal with but a private hell
   is a private hell. The only thing that comes close for me with
   that is I used to imagine what a car running over my foot slowly
   felt like. Anytime a car passed by (when I was a kid walking to
   school), I'd feel it running over my feet. It was hard to shake
   it. What you have sounds different than mine, but I know that
   private hells suck.