The history of Science is riddled with AWFUL holes.
   Drives me nuts. But it's nearly impossible to escape propaganda
   whenever there's education involved. Somebody has a vested
   interest somewhere. I consider myself a true agnostic. I
   genuinely don't know. I'm trying to discover what movements my
   beliefs are a part of from history and it's tricky to unravel
   them.

   I usually know I've 'hit something' when I read an influential
   writer and I find myself nodding in agreement.

   THEN I have to ask myself: "WAIT A SECOND" - was I indoctrinated
   in this from my culture?

   Latest shock was 2 days ago: General Semantics. I'm still
   wrapping my head around this one. Blew my mind. Proof. It's
   about "who do I consider an authority?"
   Or.. "What system do I believe is an authority?"

   At present, the -best- we can hope for is to go to historians
   for answers. THEN we have to go into the history of the
   historians to watch how historians changed their views and what
   historians influenced other historians and what movements
   changed their way of thinking.

   There's no authoritative The ones that get in the way of clear
   thinking.
   I'm not trying to change my way of thinking. My way of thinking
   hasn't changed since I was 11 years old and probably earlier.

   [I've traced back commonalities in my thinking by analyzing my
   own writings through the decades... I even processed them
   through a Dewey Decimal classifier four days ago - 9374 went
   through it, they were classified, I did a basic data analysis on
   it, and discovered what my common running "themes" were that I
   enjoyed talking about the most and where they would fit in a
   library].

   Anyway...

   I'm trying to discover "Me" in a way that I can authentically
   describe in a way that is acceptable to the most harshest of
   critic. I want names, categories - things I'm bad at normally.

   I want to be able to stand on a podium and go: I AM A FAN OF
   EMBODIED COGNITION AS OPPOSED TO BRAINS-IN-MEATBAGS.

   [and I can do that now].

   That's my goal. Anything that gets in the way of that, I have to
   unravel.