Anyway, yeah, mimic. I agree with you there with regards to consciousness. I try to see what I'm mimicking without realizing it, realize it, then find ways to wiggle away from it. It's REALLY hard to find one's own uniqueness... I know it's here but first I have to figure out what I'm copying. Yeah, I mimic the solitary life, a "monastic in the world" of sorts, although not really in the world. I'm tethered to my computer, restrict my social activities as much as possible, stay deep in thought as much as daily 'requirements' allow me and... ponder, analyze, reflect, consider. I do whatever daily tasks I must to keep people from being annoyed with me, and I do so faithfully but at the drop of a hat, no hat required, I go back to ponder-mode. I allow several people to "steal my time", but as minimally as possible. This can results in many hours doing something I don't *want* to do, but I don't want to be someone ruled by my wants either, so i try to stay "in service to others" as much as possible.