I have a whole coping mechanism process for pleasing people. I
   developed a hierarchy, questions I ask myself, a whole sorting
   mechanism that I can use on the fly.

   I'm a "service oriented" person but I had to develop "no skills"
   that didn't involve ever really saying "no". I've become a
   conscious "avoider" so I can focus my people pleasing in a more
   focused way.

   I'm not crazy about having to do it; I still want to please
   everybody, but at least I feel in control now.