Socks
by Ken Bushnell


 I don't know if you know this, but socks are really 
stupid aliens. They come from the planet Remax where 
they decided several decades ago to spy on the human 
race. After extensive research they devised an ingenious 
plan to disguise themselves as socks. They determined 
socks on people's feet would go everywhere they went.

The Remaxians sent their agents disguised as matched 
pairs of socks and distributed themselves cleverly among 
the people. They put themselves on store shelves with 
'sale' signs (some people say that's how sales got 
started) and they made the perfect gift because no one 
would ever question where they came from (Oh, those must 
have come from Grandma).

Their plan was almost perfect except the not to bright 
Remaxians forgot one important thing: when one would go 
back to the planet Remax to report their findings the 
other one stayed behind. Hence the mystery of the 
missing sock.

That spare sock sees the darker side of human existence. 
These highly skilled, specially trained agents end up 
doing the lowest and dirtiest of tasks like cleaning the 
oven, or sopping up spilled oil from the car. They are 
very disgruntled and if their mate ever comes back to 
compare stories the human race will have a lot to answer 
for.

Beware Humanians, the Remaxians are still among us. 
They're everywhere. Tread lightly lest ye offend a 
Remaxian dignitary. Why do you think some people go 
around not wearing socks? They know. Look at Don 
Johnson. It hasn't made the papers here, but it's big 
news in the National Empirer on Remax.

Be nice to your socks. Especially that spare sock which 
you can't find the mate for. You know, they like to be 
made into sock puppets. Do 'em a favor. Let them see 
more of the world than just the bottom of a rag bin. 
Talk to your socks. Let them know we're friendly.


The End
copyright 1999 Ken Bushnell

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