Start Your Mowers
by
Ken Bushnell

The Starting of the Lawn Mower Event

Announcer 1:
   There's Reginald Huffman.  He's back again with his 
Home Despot Special.  Aluminum cast body, 3 1/2 horse 
power Titan engine and his customized colored wheels.

Announcer 2:
   Sure is Mike.  Hurley Lathrop is in pit 2 with his 
Sears Eagle 5 hp Briggs and Stratton.  Isn't it a 
beauty.  I guess he's had that in the competition for 
the last eight years or so hasn't he?

A1:  Right you are Steve.  Over in pit 3 we have Susie 
Lundstrom with a Kmart Special.  First female competitor 
in 93.  I don't believe we've had one of these Kmarts in 
the competition before either And over here we have a 
new contender in pit 4, Migail Zokovovitch.  A Russian 
competitor I understand from a Moscow suburb.

A2:  He's got a brand of lawn mower I've never seen 
before too, Mike.  I think it says Rupa Vernoff on the 
cover.  Look at the hubs on that thing.  Solid steel and 
the wheels, large black rubber tires.  Intimidating.  
He's going to be tough competition to beat this year.

A1:  Right you are Steve.

A2:  I think they're about ready to start.  All the 
tools are laid out and they're holding the customary 
screw driver poised in the right hand waiting for the 
starter.  The starter has stepped out front and [BANG - 
starter pistol is fired] they're off.  Look at that.  
Hurley has already picked up his gas can and is pouring 
some gas into the gas tank.  There he goes.  He's 
pulling the chord.  And yes!  I see smoke. It sputtered.  
Hurley's off to a good start.  He's got spark.

A1:  Uh oh, Look at that Steve.  Reginald is pulling out 
the spark plug.  Looks like there's oil on it.  He's 
going to have to clean that off.

A2:  Sure is Mike.  Spark plugs are the first thing to 
plug up on a lawn mower that's been sitting in the shed 
all year.

A1:  Susie Lundstrom might have a clogged fuel line.  I 
see she's reaching for the pliers and YES!.  She's 
removed the clamp and pulled off the fuel line and she's 
holding it up to look for a clog.

A2:  I wonder where she learned to do that Mike That's 
bad luck.  I don't think anybody's ever won this event 
with a clogged fuel line.  It looks like Migail is doing 
the same thing.  This looks like the year of the clogged 
fuel lines, doesn't it Mike.

A1:  Right you are Steve.  You know dirty carburetors 
are a thing of the past with Primo Go fuel additive.  
Why wait for a gummy carburetor when you can start 
mowing your lawn today.  Primo Go a fuel additive for 
the future.
  Wait a minute.  Hurley is priming the cylinder.  He's 
poured some gas in.  He's replacing the spark plug.  
And look!  There he goes.  He's pulling on the start 
chord.

A2:  It started.  No.  It choked out.  It only fired and 
then quit.  There's Migail doing the same thing.  And 
only a puff a smoke.

A1:  Boy.  These lawn mowers are in really rough shape 
this year, Steve.

A2:  Uh oh.  Migail broke his starter chord.

A1:  That's bad luck Mike.  Wait a minute.  He pulled 
the cover off and he's winding the chord around the 
crank pulley.  Can he do that?

A2:  I don't think he knows the rules Mike.  You have to 
run the lawn mower with all the parts it came with.  
He's going to have to run that chord through the cover 
if he want's to qualify.

A1:  Then again Steve, this might be a new Russian style 
we're seeing here.  Maybe he'll get that chord on later.

A2:  Listen to that!  Hurley has got a sputter.  Hurley 
Lathrop has almost started his lawn mower.

A1:  He's really breathing hard, though Steve.  He's had 
to pull that chord about a dozen times and I don't know 
if he's got the strength left to give it another go.

A2:  We'll see.  What's this.  Reginald.  He's got a 
sputter too Mike.  This is going to be close.

A1:  And there goes the Russian.  He's got his started 
Steve, but wait.  It coughed.  He's pulling back and 
forth on the choke lever.  No.  It stopped.

A2:  I don't know if we can take much more of this Mike.  
There they all go, pulling on the starting chord at the 
same time.  It looks Like Susie Lundstrom had it going 
but forgot to push the choke back in at the right time.  
And there goes Hurley again. It's sputtering.  I hear a 
miss, but there it goes.  It's running!  A big cloud of 
smoke, but there he goes.  Yea!  We got a winner.  Look 
at that.  A running lawn mower.  And Hurley Lathrop 
takes the first step out of the pit with a running lawn 
mower.

A1:  There go the other contestants, Steve.  They're 
throwing down their screw drivers.  I think it's 
official.  This years winner is going to be Hurley 
Lathrop with his Sears brand Double Eagle Briggs and 
Stratton lawn mower.

A2:  Sure is Mike.  Hurley Lathrop wins it again.  A 
running lawn mower.  What an event.


2014