## 06 Slowing
Since 2005, I have calculated that I have written about one blog post every4 days. Remember that I had a break between august 1st August and .. August 20 (I'm talking about my French blog, cheziceman.fr). Oh no !! The reality is that I haven't written any article since February. All the articles published on my old blog were written months or weeks before. I'm like that, I love to write and have lots of ideas for posts. That's why I was an editor in a french webzine for 3 years. It's not the same one anymore...But after 15 years, a break of 6 month was a good thing. I decided to do something different, a challenge (I'm a challenge guy :p ) but I see I'm in the same rhythm as before. I'm always writing drafts with some ideas for a future post and you can't imagine what a mess it is. ...Maybe 6 months of posts (on two sites) if I slow down. Yes the idea was to slow down (a fantastic song by Morcheeba, by the way...)
With this new start on sdf.org, I see that I'm not in the good rhythm. The changes I can make to a page or the questions I can ask do not immediate answers. I have to wait and waiting is good. I need to slow down because all this is not so important. Blogging is a pleasure for me. Learning to write better in english without any help is also a leasure (even though it's usefull for my job). So what I'm writing now is not urgent. I can post it in one week or maybe one month. I remember a period of my life as a «webmaster», when I had a music site, with album reviews. We ended up with two members and the other one always wanted to see his articles the next day. I wanted to send them more regularly, as a routine : 2 or 3 reviews a week was enough. So he decided to leave and create his own site...Not so interesting since I don't correct it :-p . But it's our behaviour now on the web : always running, always wanting news as a drug. For what ? For fame, money, glory...I don't know. Ok, blogging is sometimes self-c
entred but it was never my idea to make money or become famous. I'm happy to have some readers and to communicate with them but what I like is to share something.
I recently read Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. It's a kind of tale about an Indian Brahmin searching for himself, who he is and sometimes the meaning of his life. I'm not saying that blogging is my purpose in life. But in this story, Siddhartha gets rich ...but not happy because he gets bad with people, selfish, alcoholic. I don't want to spoil it, but he realises that his life is not about getting richer, having more and more, speeding up.… In a way, it's the same for all this. I don't think all this Web 2.0, 3.0 and this bullshit of NFT, Metaverse are important. It's more important to take time for yourself and to find your real path, in harmony with friends, family, nature, … Writing is a kind of therapy for me because I can speak and express ideas, freely. I also write for myself, ... It's a kind of meditation because it slows down he flow of ideas I can sometimes have. And like Siddhartha, I make mistakes and I try to come back to the good reality, the simple life that I need. I need to slow down…
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My drugs are not wine or cocaine. It was buying and listening music a long time ago. Now It's more books and comics. Sometimes it can be food. And if I could, it would be travelling. I need to slow down and creating is a good way. I draw sometimes... I was quite talented in that when I was young but I chose something else for work....not so far because I wanted to be a car designer and I work in the automotive industry. Because I am lazy, I don't work enough to be good at drawing or playing music now. I can draw but I don't have any technique, any style. And all my «drugs» eat up the time I could use to draw or to make other creations.
At the moment I'm writing this, I'm listening to a clock....tic tac tic tac. Silence and a clock. I can't be quiet because something always comes to my mind, or I 'm listening music, podcasts. How to slow down ? Here's another long post about time. It's kind of my thing...my standard. Always on time, never late. I'll keep this post as a draft for a few days, read it another time, let the words come and go, fingers on the keyboard as a modern pen. I know I need to do another bullet journal but my problem is not the blank page for a writer, but twriting «End» or «To be continued».
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