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wrecked. not empty, but sore. so sore. rugby good. friends
good. time out good, but so unprepared. no focus, hard to
focus. so much to do, so much to do. list is full, most of
it is important. need to make a task list, to make me good.
i've been good for months now. i have the urge to escape and
fixate on the new intrigues. everything else is just to tide
me over til my next fix.

pubnix, gopher, text-focused transmissions, stripping away
the crud from the day to day. knowing there is an alternate
world away from my world is beyond enticing and i wish to be
there as long as i can. until then i fill the void of its
absence with whatever pleasures i can find. i have so much
shame in my dereliction of duty, trying to excuse my
behavior by focusing on the little bits of time away. but
who am i fooling? all those bits add up, pieced together to
form the real picture.

shrouded imposter, hiding my chaos, biding my time; so much
left to learn, so much more to earn, bones tired and muscles
burn. more worlds for which to yearn, challenging
philosophies twist and turn.

unreasonable expectations, unfit partner.

i love my kids. my kids love me. they are great. i love that
i can share a laught with them. i love that we can play
together. they look up to me, they copy my behavior. i must
make sure they don't make the same mistakes i made. and, i
will guide them through the mistakes they make, with an open
and honest heart. you made a mistake, so fix it, and don't
judge others for making theirs. stay in a state of love for
your fellow person.

you fellow person loves you more than you think they do, and
they yearn for the same love you yearn for. 

let others know you are willing to show them love.
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