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another day at work. another day obsessed with other things.
another day at my desk. another toy to play with. another
time to allocate to play. another play time. another play
date.

today is different though. rugby practice starts today. I am
too excited to care about anything else. gopher and pubnix
have become my new obsession. i feel chilly and irritible.
my brain says to dezire doing multiple things at once.
twitch. drones. streaming. Resident Evil 8. Diablo III. My
son and I love playing together.

i have the dezire to eat. i have the dezire to sleep. i
have the dezire to play videogames. i have the dezire to go
run. i have the dezire to take a hot shower and pass out.

where else can i get my fix? I hyperfixate; thanks, ADHD.
where else can i sit comfortably and fixate?
where else can i lose interest not too long after fixating?

the heart cancel runs through my body. i'm attached or not.
i'm warm or not. my muscles relax - thanks! i'm given 
access, or privilege to get a quick glimpse of another
place, another truth, another reality. i pay my dues to 
get another glimpse. i take time to acknowledge my state,
and be thankful for it.

i'm not red, or yellow. i'm full of love and appreciation.
i'm warm and comfortable.
i'm irked by a chill in my toes.
i will walk anyway. warmth need not come from near or far,
from in or out, not now, not ever. 

wandering away, drifting to point B, urgent to remain 
in a state of inurgency; let me wander, leave me be; don me
a cape, a writ of passage, that permits me to travel to the
next world.

it will be okay.
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