First night as a single man. 

Weird day. Persona 4 track 
kept playing in my head, the
one in the purple room, some
churchy minor vocals. Packing
up for my ex-wife. My daughter 
woke up late: 

"You're helping mom to move? 
That's weird"

I was really glad she, of
all the people, understood
the weirdness of it all. 

The move went fast, 3 cars 
full of stuff and 2 pick up. 
She had so much stuff in the
house, I realize now. 

Now it's only my stuff, and 
I have everything I need. 
My dishes set that my dad 
made, my cutlery, tea sets, 
crystal glasses from my 
grand-ma.  First thing I 
did when I came back home, 
apart from crying, was to
clean up. Broom the place, 
setup the small studio 
space by the bedroom. 

I find that people project
a lot, my wife created a world,
a world where it was only
my stuff in the house, 
and she didn't felt it
was her place. A world
where I don't clean, where
I don't make enough money,
where I'm the reason she's
unhappy. I like my space
to be clean, and I tend
to clean as I go, instead
of always leaving a mess
that needs to be cleaned 
later on... Now that her
stuff is out of the house, 
it's completely different
in here, I was living in
her stuff after all. 

The evening was quiet, 
between cleaning, cooking,
I watch a movie, tried to 
re-watch Boogie Pop Phantom, 
but  I went to bed early. 
In my hammock, she left with 
the bed. 

I made a small bed for the
cat, and she actually slept
in it. I woke up early, as
I went to bed early without
too much food. The less I
eat, the less sleep I need. 

No late night, no porn, 
no alcohol,  but a few smokes. 
I hope to stop smoking soon. 
It's comforting when I am sad. 
I feel healthier already though. 
The emotional pressure from 
the last few months was awful. 

I'm worried about my daughter, 
mostly about her cell phone 
usage. The radiation of the 
wifi (I made her a cable here
at home) but also the social
addiction to these small machine,
now that I am not around anymore. 
I hope to be able to add a
few network cable in their new
home. We'll see how that goes.
I keep her, and her mom in 
the light. I want the best 
for them. 

I've become overly aware of 
my power consumption. By myself,
and the house, I use 12 kilowatt
in a day. When the pump was working
all the time and with the ex in 
the house, we'd use well over
60 kw per day at 15 cents a kilowatt. 

I want to see how little I can
use, not only to save money, but
to be aware what uses what. I am 
even thinking to have the hot 
water heater turned off, at least
during the 'non-freezing' month. 
Only using cold water most of 
the time, turning it on once in 
a while for a hot bath. 
12 kilowatt still seems like
a lot of power for a day. The
pump from the lake and the 
pump to the septic being the 
2 big draw of power, then the
hot water heater, and the fridge. 

Cooling, warming, moving water. 
A composting toilet would take
care of some of the septic system. 
But then I keep the house warm in 
the winter, while I keep the fridge
cool. I'm planing to move the fridge
in the storage this winter, just
to get it out of my face (fridges
are an ugly piece of western 
consumerism) but it might also 
use less power in a cooler room?
I have a feeling that it might not
even benefit to be in a cold
storage, fighting to keep the 
cool inside somehow. 

I want to get back into intermittent
fasting too. I used to do it for a 
couple years at least, and it felt
pretty good. My body stores fat 
really easily, I don't even know 
how it does it sometime, when I 
look at my calories intake and 
how overweight I am. Eating by
oneself is also quite boring. 
I love cooking for others, I 
feel I might get real simple 
with my own survival. 

I told myself to take it easy now, 
just do a little bit every day. 
Chop some wood everyday, clean up
a bit here and there, since I 
live by myself, the effect compound
quickly. I am going to a festival
next weekend, leading a Yoga Nidra
session, the last festival of the
summer. After that we're back into
theatre, karate, yoga, violin,
and meditation routine.  It seems
like a lot! 

All of that seems to revolve around
cultivating my energy. Using less 
power, therefor paying less money,
therefor having to work less for
the power I use. Having less 
distraction, less to eat, so then
less to digest. Simplifying even 
more my life, I want to continue
to get rid of stuff, brining a truck
load every week to the dump for a 
few weeks at least. 

I'm getting more wood this year, 
and will try to use mostly firewood 
heating, again saving power. I wish
the fire stove was more efficient 
here, connecting to a water boiler, 
having more 'stove space' to boil my
tea water and broth. It's quite the 
waste of heat here. 

It's a new adventure, and I'm 
looking forward to see how it 
will unfold and at this point
I really hope to stay single 
for a while.