What is the last thing you do when 
everything else fails? 

When your world falls apart. 

When everything you've been spending 
your time for the last few years is 
now fading away?

Writing is what I do in these times. 

This is what I do now. 

I want to be angry, 
I want to be proven right. 

Fires are raging 
all around us. 

The sky creating 
storms that burns
forest and villages. 

The world is burning. 

Yet my wife is leaving. 

Reality has created 
her path with ease. 

She can't wait to be gone. 
She suffer in silence, 
like she has always done. 

But this time, it has an end. 
She sees the light. 

I feel played, I feel 
manipulated in her reality. 

She finally has it her way. 

She created a monster 
out of me. 

We go through our days,
as if nothing was happening. 
Waiting, days by day. 
Accommodating this transition,
without love, without compassion. 

I have many years of practice
of living without love. 

I move around aimlessly. 
Working, thinking, crying. 
Trying to latch to something, 
anything that will make me forget. 

Forget that soon, 
I'll be alone. 
Alone in this house, 
surrounded by fires. 

My daughter, 
aching to move, 
to be in town, 
comforted by her mother. 

"It won't be long,
only a few more weeks"

Words that hurts
like knives in my heart. 

What have I done 
to deserve this suffering. 

Nothing she says, 
it just feels right
to leave me. 

My wife doesn't even know. 
She feel in her heart
she has to leave me. 
There is nothing more. 

She has to spread her wings. 
Learn to live by herself.

For years she has been
in silence. 
Bursting in tears,
wanting to leave me
every season. 

And every season, 
I would comfort her, 
take it on me, 
"I will do better"

When there is only, 
the two of us
creating a reality, 
there is no one else
to comfort you. 
No one else to say
you're okay...

I am afraid. 

Afraid my daughter 
will forget me. 

Like I did to my 
mother, when I left home
and for months, 
not talking to her. 

She has been my only 
concern, my most 
precious reason to 
live, to continue,
to work, to repair, 
to do better. 

I've suffered the 
cold of my wife, 
her lack of love 
toward me, just 
for my daughter. 

So she could have 
a home, and a life
that she enjoys. 

I don't know where
to go from here. 
How to re-invent 
myself.  For the 
last 15 years, it
hasn't been about me. 

It hasn't been about
what I want. It hasn't
been about where I want
to go. It's been for them. 

Who am I now?

I don't know.