I'm back!
But where was I?

Something was going on. 
I lost track of time, 
of myself. 

The house 
was getting dirtier
cold and uncomfortable.

I can also see the break
in my time tracking notes,
almost nothing was written.

I am still not consistent
with keeping a good track 
of my time. I know that
when I don't track time I 
charge a lot less to my clients. 
I loose money, I waste my time,
but that's okay, I'd rather 
work for free then overcharge. 

Today I was tired, 
so I took the time
to take time. 

A warm bath, but the
heating system was broken
so I fixed it. A good meal
but the wood stove wasn't 
running so I went to fetch
wood. Cooking for my daughter,
but the kitchen was a mess, so 
I cleaned it up. Now the house
is clean and warm, the food is ready, 
and the fire is gently crackling,
and my daughter is sleeping 
in the hammock...  A warm bath
for when she wakes up. 

I am back to a sense of normality. 
I don't know why I leave. 
I become annoyed by all the
small things and I don't want
to do anything anymore. 
Everything is difficult. 
I don't realize how I feel, 
I don't feel, and then 
the landing hits. I feel dizzy,
as if re-entering my body
after a while. Is that 
was is called dissociation?

It's similar to leaving 
on a bender for many days. 
But I'm physically here. 
My ex was really annoyed by
these phases. I didn't realize
really, as I was still working
and feeding myself. But I 
could only do the bare minimum. 

I feel trash and useless, 
without a purpose or a goal. 
But I'm back now. I hope that
continues for a while.