In our meditation circle, we were exploring emotions. Breathing and feeling differents emotions as an exploration. It felt weird, different and somehow taboo. Emotions aren't acceptable or valued anymore. I write and censor myself. I curtail my humaness. I am afraid of talking about sexuality, addiction, passion and delusion. It might make my writing less 'respected'. If I am a disfunctional human, how can my writings be inspiring and useful. Even in the depth of gopher, I wonder how real I can be. This human side of myself is scary, mushy, unclear, too human to be useful. I want to step out of that disfunctional way to express myself and into a more direct sharing of my human experience.