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July 25th, 2022 - Running Up That Hill
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No, this entry isn't about the Kate Bush song that is
currently tearing its way back through the charts due
to its revival on that TV show. It's about the meaning
behind the song (or at least, the meaning as I see it):

Gritting ones teeth and overcoming challenges in the 
face of adversity.

For someone with the mental health issues I have, 
things like motivation can be hard to come by. Which
is why I'm trying to approach challenges differently 
these days. It's all about discipline - motivation is a
fairy tale.

The problem with motivation is it doesn't last. When a
person starts a project or sets a goal, it's easy to
work towards that goal at first because motivation is 
fresh in that persons mind. But this doesn't last. For
anyone, really. Everyone has a problem with maintaining
motivation, which is something I never realized until 
recently.

I always had beat myself up over my inability to stay 
motivated for the things that are important to me. And
the truth is, this is 100% normal operation for most 
peoples brains.

No, what trumps motivation...what allows us to
accomplish our goals no matter how much or how little
motivation we have, is discipline. And this is a new
approach for me because my discipline has always been
weak -- but my discipline has always been weak because
I've always relied on motivation to see it through.

Forget motivation. It doesn't last. Set yourself small
goals thaat you can easily accomplish, and check in on
your own progress more often. Put your mind towards 
accomlishing those mini goals, and eventually enough of
those will pile up and you'll have truly accomplished 
something.

This is new to me. I'm not good at it yet. But it's a
goal I can work towards, which will bring me closer to
my ultimate life goals. Closer than "motivation" alone
would ever get me.

- diviniti