I was originally going to call this one "the_cody_diet.txt", but I don't know if
Cody would approve of me sharing his name.
Ho hum.
The users on SDF have a lot of cool and varied interests! There was a health
forum on the BBoard and, shoot, that's a pretty new interest of mine. The first
thread was ab--OOPS HERE'S THE DIET:
Morning - banana
Work out
Post-workout - chicken breast
3/4 cup rice
one avocado
protein shake
Three hours later* - chicken breast
(Cardio day? Add 1/4 cup cream of rice)
Three hours later - chicken breast
1/2 cup minute oatmeal with a tablespoon of peanut butter powder
add 1/4 cup almond chunks after it's cooked
Final meal, at least three hours later - 1/2 cup rice
four scrambled eggs
Note: You need a cheat day once a week or this
diet will slow your metabolism down too much.
Like, seriously. CHEAT. Eat a whole pizza. Eat
a whole chicken.
OKAY sorry, I realized I was doing that thing where I told a stupid, long story
before sharing a recipe. NOW it's time for the stupid long story! So,
-obviously- my dietery needs are not the same as a competitive body builder's,
but I've always been curious about his diet since he started it up, years ago.
That guy never takes a break, and it's kind of always been a running gag that
he just will not eat anything if it's not Sunday.
Only, after four months of quarantine in isolation, he was still /super/ lean,
and he basically wasn't working out. Now, my fabulous secret power is that I'm
the only person in my immediate family who didn't get fat--but you know, who
doesn't want to get healthier, even when they're already passably healthy?
Besides, I have GOBLIN BODY, even if my gut isn't really noticeable. It'd be
cool to get some muscle on the side, if I could!
Er, but I'm getting ahead of myself a bit. Back to that part about SDF users and
their fitness BBoard! One of the two conversations there was about diets, which
is actually what prompted this. I don't think it's actually relevant to THAT
PARTICULAR post listing--this diet is absolutely for people who are at least not
unhealthy, I think. And there are plenty of reasons not to do it--you're eating
eighteen chickens per week and some people are vegetarian, not to mention
apparently too much protein can put you at risk (like, super at risk) for cancer
later in life. And, look at that, it's a high fat, high protein diet.
LUCKILY it's working for me, woohoo! I fudged the numbers a bit for my copy,
since I can NOT eat that much, much less the fact I don't want to enter body
building competitions. Still, I love the results so far! I didn't even think I
was putting on a little extra fluff in the last couple of months, but looking at
this BEFORE picture, my face looks a little more trim. That's a good feeling!
It doesn't hurt that chicken is absolutely tasty, either. I have yet to get sick
of this diet--even though I'm using a lot of mustard, now. When Cody said he
puts mustard on everything because it adds basically nothing to the nutrition, I
was MOST excited. Jewish family! I've got mustard for MONTHS. ...Only, it turns
out all my fancy mustard is actually pretty loaded with less-than-optimal
nutrition facts. I bought a bottle of French's for the first time in my life,
urgh. Still! Taste acquired by the second bite, hee.
Right, right, the scary part. Now, the person whose homework I copied
ab-so-LUTE-ly goes to the gym and does serious weight training. I am a weenie.
I did manage to find some fifteen pound dumbbells, but they are WAY too heavy
for me. Or so I thought! My, like... one fly rep, four curls, and other
embarrassing nonsense got his nod of approval. His thing is, work out on an
empty stomach (or with a banana for carbs if you're doing serious weight
training!) and go until you can't go. Since I was doing that, it was fine that
it only took one minute. HIS overly complex dumbbell workout that he's been
doing all quarantine only takes about three minutes! Of course, if I tried his,
I would start sweating and fall over. He knows more about yoga than I do, which
is weirdly embarrassing.
Another workout I've been doing (also his idea) is to wake up and then take a
dose of this stuff called BCAA powder on an empty stomach (it's a little
expensive!) then go powerwalking for thirty to forty minutes. I am sweating like
an ice sculpture in Arizona by the end of it, but wow! Apparently the BCAA
powder (we use "BPI Best BCAA Shredded" but I don't know if it matters) (but get
the little bucket because the bigger ones taste like chemicals, apparently) is
there to make your body use fat for energy, and it absorbs super fast so you can
just about start right away. I do that, then my dumbbell stuff, then drink some
PROTEIN POWDER like some kind of gym person. I copied his homework again and got
the "Gold Standard 100% WHEY, Double Rich Chocolate". Not because I felt like
his protein shake choice mattered, it just tasted good. Kinda like cold Swiss
Miss in water.
But yeah, doing that, then having the first meal of the day immediately
afterwards--mm-mm! By day two, that avocado tasted like a cake. Admittedly, I do
pretty much always cut the rice out. Not because I don't want to get THICK, I'm
just lazy. I don't have a rice cooker and my Instant Pot requires far too much
cleaning after making rice. Still, it's great when I DO it! And I guess, rice
aside, this diet is pretty keto-ish. I'm eating a LOT, I have a LOT of energy,
and I'm never hungry--but I'm still losing weight! I guess I should mention one
other warning: anyone else on Team Pink, the tummy area is not the only upper
body hotspot where we lose fat, doing this. Oh well.
So, yes, not a good diet to tout to someone trying to lose weight for medical
reasons. This was made by some guy (with a nursing degree, in fairness), not a
doctor. He did all the math or whatever to make the perfect diet for his
lifestyle. I'm just glad and grateful he shared it, even if I'm cutting some
corners! He says I can pass it on, too, so hopefully it helps someone else, or
at least gives them ideas. I suppose my penchant for open source whatsits just
makes me excited to share data :B
ADDENDUMB [sic]: whoopsydoodle, I sure blabber a lot and am anything but
concise. Brevity is the soul of wit--I'm witty, just soulless! Ahem, rereading
this, here's the stuff I skipped:
*or four hours later. Five hours won't kill you. Make it fit into your work
break! Normally, that meal's just a chicken breast, anyhow.
The final meal being four eggs was just because he thought that he was eating
maybe too many chicken breasts. Meaning, four eggs is a replacement! --That was
my own conclusion, at least. Hopefully it's not too far off. I do sometimes do
eggs when I'm too lazy to cook more chicken. Now, I don't normally ACTUALLY do
four eggs at once--that is a LOT OF FOOD--but I will say, four hot, fresh medium
-boiled eggs right out of the Instant Pot dipped in mustard is the MOST FILLING
meal I have ever had. Super satisfying!
And yes, that's right--Instant Pot! All you do is hork in a cup of water then
put in that little... grill thing, then fit as many eggs as you can into a
single layer (don't double stack!). And, yes, the eggs aren't actually in the
water. Don't worry! Cook 'em on Pressure - High (older Instant Pots will just
have a PRESSURE COOK or maybe a MANUAL button. Don't worry--it's high) and push
the button twice so Keep Warm turns off. The recipe I saw said 2-3 minutes for
soft-boiled, 4-5 for medium-, and 6-8 for hard-boiled. This is an absolute
fabrication, it turns out. I just did ten eggs in it for TWO MINUTES, manually
released the pressure immediately, then dumped the eggs into cold water and it
was CLOSE to hard boiled, still. Har-RUMPH.
Instant Pots were invented by a witch who got tired of her trainee stealing her
instruction books all the time. A computerized cauldron worked so well that they
decided to change the labels on the buttons to say things like "eggs" and "rice"
and sell them to mortals. You don't need one, I just like mine.
Oh, and for the peanut butter powder, I got a big jar that says PB Fit on the
side. I don't think it matters, though. Like, even for how much extra malarkey
Jif puts in their regular peabnut bubber, their powdered one really is just
peanut butter powder. One more thing on this--I LOVE peanut butter. Like, my
family makes fun of me for it. I put peanut butter on salami and fold it into a
little taco, I put peanut butter on some seafood, I (brace yourself) eat it OFF
A SPOON! And I'd never get the same brand twice--I know the differences between
Peanut Butters. Gotta say, 1:1 peanut butter powder:water? It's the best. It's
so freakishly good. It doesn't have any of the oil you get even in just TAKE
PEANUT AND SMOOSH type peanut butter. UGH I WANT TO EAT PEANUT BUTTER NEXT
CHEAT DAY.
Okay, hopefully that's everything! This is a large text file for a bl--er,
phlog, ack. I am experimenting with not formatting it for eighty character wide
screens. Hopefully it's just that the Linux GOPHER command is the one viewer
that doesn't wrap! ...Oh foot, it doesn't wrap for SDF either. Formatting!