4.10.20

Life is such a confusing process. It's so hard to understand what I want
most of  the time these  days. Some  days anything is  overwhelming, and
other  days I  feel  like I'm  on  top  of the  world.  I often  wonder,
privately, how happy  I am with the  state of my life  and the decisions
I've made. Within  the past couple of years I  moved across the country,
changed jobs a few times, lost  friends, made new ones, started seeing a
terapist, gotten  engaged, changed  my name,  and fallen  in and  out of
various  kinds of  relationships. I  was more  or less  a shut-in  for a
number of years,  and I wonder if  I was happier then.  At least, things
were much simpler. I mostly just wish  for a clear path to deal with the
ambient level of distress I've been  dealing with more and more. Anyway,
that's about where I am with my life or my assessment of my "self" right
now, and it feels nice to put it down somewhere.

-Vx