!A wake of smiles
 --- 
agk's diary 
10 February 2022 @ 18:22
 --- 
written on GPD Win 1 at College of Nursing 
in a study room: boots off, feet on table
 --- 

Sloum@colorfield wondered about gopher writers' 
physical culture. This week I walked four miles up 
the creek to the cow pasture and home again. I held 
my 20 lb baby in one arm, spouse held other hand. 
We walk often, and wrestle now and then.

I walked down from hospital 11th floor to ground, 
up to College of Nursing 6th floor, down again. 
It's a mile to where I park. Danced up a lather in 
the kitchen with baby. Slow-dance hefted patients 
to and from beds, commodes, and recliners. Ran 
across a snowy courtyard to help break up a brawl 
between children.

In the hospital I get to be in the presence of love 
that lends humor, grace, generosity, and sweetness 
to every little thing. Mom's parents loved like 
that. So do Charlie and Lynn. 

> When I tell hospital stories, I invent composite
> patients. You can't ID who I assembled them from.

Lynn, in camo jacket and bluejeans, watched while 
physical therapy carefully ambulated her husband in 
the hall.

"He's doing good," I said. "You taking him home to-
morrow?"

"He ain't got long, does he? The cancer went from 
his kidney to his liver and lung, maybe his brain, 
doctor said."

I confirmed her understanding of what the doctor 
said.

"I need a hospital bed. Can't get him in and out of 
ours by myself," Lynn said. She described her house 
and how Charlie'll live in it as he is.

We celebrated when she, surprised, learned the bed 
was being delivered. We celebrated and laughed when 
Charlie finally had a big bowel movement and wryly
farted a lot. His abdomen deflated some from the 
procedure that inflated it with air and distended 
it so grotesquely. 

Lynn's phone rang: now her sister's in the hospital 
too. Covid and bad pneumonia. Charlie, sclera and 
skin jaundiced yellow, told me haltingly about the 
plant employed his dad and him; how his dad died of 
kidney cancer last year. Charlie and Lynn are 
brightly, sweetly in love no matter what. They 
chuckled and marked events together, structuring 
time. They delighted in one another.

The day he dies will be like a leaf reaching the 
forest floor where it may rest. I hope to live and 
die like them: gruff, chuckling, unpretentious,
leaving a wake of smiles.