!Five Answers: April
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agk's phlog 
1 Apr 2021 @ 2150
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written on X61
while roommate plays 
The Binding of Isaac
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I like Christina's questions.[^1] In an attempt at 
interactivity, I answer. 

> 1. Can you miss what you never had? 

I doubt it. You can sure crave more of what you've 
only tasted.

> 2. Have you reinvented yourself after the end of 
     a long personal (cohabiting) relationship? 
     Describe the steps of reinvention.  

Only if relationships that lasted less than ten 
years count as long.

When Esther and I moved back South, I didn't know 
anybody. I couldn't find work. We rented an un-
insulated outbuilding with no power, plumbing, or 
dignified alternative. Hauling water and charging 
stuff was demeaning there. It was behind a small 
house where the people lived who sublet to us. 
They expected rent and what felt like servant 
labor at random times. Esther was at school all 
day with my car unless I drove a long way to drop 
her off and pick her up. We had no nearby family. 
Our savings ran out. 

I left temporarily, then permanently. I slept on 
the floor of friends who lived in a one-room cabin 
with their toddler on (what turned out to be the 
final days of) a lesbian separatist land project. 
I decided there to leave Esther, then moved to my 
mom's old bedroom in my grandparents' house. 

I got work, took a class that yielded a useful 
healthcare certification, became involved in my 
grandparents' church, helped the family accept 
grandma's dementia, and initiated their move. I 
helped manage routine and emergency medical care.
When their next steps were clear and I was 
accepted at college as an older student, I moved 
again.

I followed similar steps when I left Katya 7 years 
earlier: struggle, go to friends, fall apart, find 
a way to help that felt like it mattered, 
apologize to {Esther, Katya} and forgive her, keep 
moving, unsure toward what. Both times I 
eventually noticed I'd been reinvented somewhere 
along the way. I also learned more about love both 
times.

> 3. What do you most look forward to doing when 
     restrictions end? 

Continuing to raise my daughter, collective super-
vision of a gang of children with other parents, 
visiting friends in other states, playing pool, 
being more sexually promiscuous, and live music. 

> 4. What's the best surprise you received in 
     March 2021? 

The Peacemakers Motorcycle Club opened a clubhouse 
in a formerly abandoned appliance repair shop a 
block from my house. I've known some very good men 
who were Peacemakers, and they'll keep the Hells 
Angels and Iron Horses out.

> 5. How many interests (i.e. passions, 
     activities, hobbies, pursuits) at minimum 
     should a person have to be interesting? What 
     percentage of shared interests renders a 
     person appealing or intriguing to you? 

One's all it takes. Percentage doesn't matter. 
What matters is if we share a good one or if their 
enthusiasm is infectious. 

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[1]: gemini://gemini.circumlunar.space/users/christina/