!Trust is among your greatest riches --- agk's phlog 7 Mar 2021 @ 2146 --- written on x61 waiting for the washer to finish so I can move my scrubs to the dryer --- The child and I worked out the series of events that got him in trouble. Trevor took his cup, the child got mad and hit him. Something happened, he had a feeling, he reacted. He kept trying to impress me with his coping skills. "They're no good if you can't stop yourself from reacting long enough to use them," I said. We practiced reaction-stoppers: I swiped his cup. He got mad and sat on his hands. Then he used a coping skill and told a teacher. I swung at him. He got mad, got out of the room, used a coping skill, then came back and told a teacher. Of course I was proud. An hour later, Stephen took the child's checkers. He got mad, postured to fight. "Sit on your hands," I said. Stephen came closer, the child got madder, postured. "I'll walk out of the room, Ms Anna," he said. He used his walk to get closer to Stephen to try to hit him. He found himself suddenly in the hall with me, door closed. "Get away from me, you fucking bitch," he howled. When the child calmed and we were back in the day room, I said to another staff, so the child could hear: "I trusted him to go out the door. He misused my trust to get close to Stephen to try and hit him." He looked uncomfortable. "Trust is one of your greatest riches," I told him. "You earned mine, then you lost it. It's hard to earn back, but I think you can do it." I wish I was patient with my friends like I am with the children. After work, I learned I haven't talked enough with my treasured friend of many years. Last year she once offered to plan my wedding. Now wedding is one month away, planning is on me and my partner, and I have to tell this to my partner. We have care and support from people in our daily life who love us, but they never offered to plan our wedding. I felt surprised, hurt, betrayed, and abandoned like my kids at the hospital. I wasn't kind, understanding Ms Anna. My treasured friend of many years was as unprepared for my request and need for her support as I was for her semi- refusal and need for my understanding. We didn't sit on our hands. We used plays for understanding to break more trust. Then I childishly "howled in the hallway" and hung up on her in anger. I'm sure we look uncomfortable to our families in our respective states. Trust is among our greatest riches. We earned each others' over many years. Now we damaged it. It's hard to earn back -- and there's a wedding to plan, an illness to accept, children to raise, a baby coming, a pandemic and recession to weather... ...but my friend knows I love her and I know she loves me. We've known each other a long time.