!Bored
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agk's diary 
14 November 2024 @ 14:40 UTC
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written on X61 w VF15 monitor and Model M keys
in kitchen for tail end of daughter's nap
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Sometimes being a mom is the most boring thing in
the world. From the time she wakes up, my 3-year-
old wants me to give her life meaning, structure,
and direction. She has no sibling or pet, and she
needs me to take her to school, a friend's house,
or other places where she can be more independent.

When she goes to sleep, she wants me to sleep with
her. She isn't a tiny tyrant who gets her way in
all things, she's a pretty well-behaved child. She
just lacks much autonomy.

I'm not three. I'm in no way stimulated by reading
the books she likes, breastfeeding dolls and
putting them to bed, being climbed on, hiding in
closets, running around screaming crazily, and
such.

I want to read things she can't follow, talk to my
agemates and intellectual equals, follow long and
complicated trains of thought, write, have weird
sex, fix a laptop, motorcycle, or car, bike some-
where weird and wonderful and be quiet - quiet for
hours, quiet for days, unfindable.

But she's awake. Time to cook and sublimate.