| "Ought I not to have been more careful to win the good opinion of others,
more determined to conquer their hostility or indifference? It would have be
a joy to me to be smiled upon, loved, encouraged, welcomed, and to obtain wh
I was so ready to give, kindness and goodwill. But to hunt down consideratio
and reputation — to force the esteem of others — seemed to me an effort
unworthy of myself, almost a degradation. A struggle with unfavorable opinio
has seemed to me beneath me, for all the while my heart has been full of
sadness and disappointment, and I have known and felt that I have been
systematically and deliberately isolated. Untimely despair and the deepest
discouragement have been my constant portion. Incapable of taking any intere
in my talents for their own sake, I let everything slip as soon as the hope
being loved for them and by them had forsaken me. A hermit against my will,
have not even found peace in solitude, because my inmost conscience has not
been any better satisfied than my heart."
-- Henri-Frédéric Amiel
These are my personal reflections upon the Journal of Henri-Frédéric Amiel.
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