So much happening
~tadpole
------------------------------------------------------------------
I am still waiting to go ice skating. It is the only thing I feel
like I can control at this moment in time.
We are in the process of fleeing the country. Finding ways to 'get
out of dodge' at the drop of a hat if need be, because fuck a world
that we cannot go piss without risking our own safety.
I was going to start hrt in December, but that'll have to wait.
That will be ok.
Im worried about my friends and family.
The younger ones who cannot relocate,
that lose the opportunities that I might've had once.
My job is suffocating, and is barring me from flying home to make
plans over the holidays.
I might have to make these plans through a phone call.
The speakers of my cracked phone telling me whether or not I will
be uprooting my life and trying to condense it into suitcases.
So the coming months are going to be a lot. A lot of planning and
anxiety. A lot of big changes for a couple years or so, while we
find out what will happen and what wont.
I've never been out of the country before.
I have so much here.
Our apartment is so comfortable, we have decorated it so nicely.
I am going to miss dearly.
Maybe change is good.
I'll miss the friends I'll have to leave behind.
Yet I feel like I always miss people less than I should.
I'll have to sell my desk, the one I spend most of my time at.
I'll have to get rid of my favorite couch. We got so lucky to find
that at the thrift store.
Goddamn it.
I'll be ok.
My heart hurts a lot right now.
In 5 hours I will be on the ice again.
With my friends and chosen family, I hope I can make them smile
before I go.