|
| dswalter wrote:
| Something about not being young anymore is that I am much more
| comfortable leveraging small changes consistently over time. When
| I was 16, the idea of doing a little bit of practicing vocal
| exercises each day in order to improve over time would have
| seemed an insurmountable challenge. I needed things to improve
| over the course of days or hours. (In this, I was terribly short-
| sighted).
|
| But now that I'm considerably older than that, I can mentally
| afford to allocate a little bit of time over the next six months
| toward achieving a goal like improving my typing, or getting
| better at vocal onsets. Being better at something a year or two
| from now feels very worthwhile, and I know I'll be at that future
| me fairly quickly.
|
| It would have been better for me, of course, to have gained this
| ability back when I had lots of time at my disposal. But I can
| still have an impact because I can be the drop of water shaping
| the stone over time.
| JohnFen wrote:
| I don't know if it's age or not (I'm no spring chicken), but I
| do the same. As an example, I became quite skilled with the
| slingshot exactly this way. I set up a target catchbox between
| my office and my kitchen, and for a couple of years now, I take
| a couple of practice shots when I go between the two, or when
| I'm waiting for the microwave to finish, etc.
|
| It was a year or so of doing this before I became a
| consistently good shot. Not quick, but if I had tried to set
| aside longer blocks of practice time, I wouldn't have done it
| at all.
|
| Slow progress gets you to the finish line. No progress does
| not.
| screwturner68 wrote:
| It doesn't hurt that now a month goes by in a blink of an eye
| but when you are 16 a month feels like forever.
| adversaryIdiot wrote:
| I say that its the exact same situation for me. Except by being
| older, I'm only 25 now. My suspicion is that this effect to due
| to my prefrontal cortex maturing? Because I'm much more
| introspective and meticulous now when it comes to learning,
| thinking, feeling etc.
| JohnFen wrote:
| At 25, this is a superpower. Even if you just practice a
| thing for 10 minutes a day, by the time you're in your 40s
| (which is about when life starts getting really good) you
| will be fantastic at it.
| Starwatcher2001 wrote:
| I'm doing something similar. I've decided at 62 to learn to
| play the keyboard and be able to read music. It's late in the
| day but I'm slowly getting there 30 minutes a day.
| sureglymop wrote:
| That's awesome!!
| krat0sprakhar wrote:
| Exact same mindset change happened with me (and I wish I had
| known the power of small changes over time earlier). I picked
| up the guitar at the age of 33 and just playing 15-30mins a day
| over a year has led to so much improvement. The slow but steady
| process is so rewarding.
| 1vuio0pswjnm7 wrote:
| https://web.archive.org/web/20230404094639if_/https://luxagr...
|
| (luxagraf.net is redirecting to www.google.com at the moment)
| DotaFan wrote:
| For me habit is everything, in a sense that, creating a good
| habits relieves me the majority of the effort of trying to do it.
| I just do it without an effort, as I am used to it. Often, while
| I was getting into this field I was asked how am I able to put so
| much effort into learning, but it was just a habit that fed my
| self-worth and curiosity. With habit comes a practice imo.
| nico wrote:
| Yes
| adversaryIdiot wrote:
| I've become a 'handyman' in the way that this article alludes to.
| A big problem that I come across when saying "yes" to every
| problem that peaks my curiosity is that Ive become mentally
| drained.
|
| I end up spending a lot of time and energy hacking away at
| problems. The problem is, it seems like my mind isn't resilient
| enough to keep up with it. After a certain point there comes an
| onset of fatigue, frustration, and just general feelings of
| discomfort that drones on in the back of my conscious.
|
| I guess this is to be expected. The muscles of my mind have been
| overexerted and need rest. A remedy to this is to "go with the
| flow" of my mood/feelings. Which sometimes contradicts my undying
| feeling of curiosity. It becomes a balancing act between the two.
|
| I dunno -\\_(tsu)_/-
| epolanski wrote:
| I used to suffer of the same and then went with the time
| limiting: I can't do that stuff on weekends or after 7 pm, I
| stick to it and it became a habit in few weeks time.
| JohnFen wrote:
| My overall philosophy about attaining skills is that for most
| of them, I am content with learning something well enough that
| I could muddle through if I had to do it for real. I'm not
| shooting for becoming an expert at all.
|
| I aim for expertise in the much smaller subset of skills that
| are of genuine value to me.
|
| I aim at being a "jack of all trades, master of a couple".
| iamdbtoo wrote:
| My perspective on programming shifted heavily when I adopted this
| idea for myself. Fully accepting the idea that there is no end to
| my learning and growth freed my mind so much and has actually
| made it easier to learn and grow.
| Zetice wrote:
| Super duper no, could not more strongly disagree. Practice is
| _not_ the same as performance, as in practice you ignore the
| outcome and focus on specific aspects of your skill.
|
| If you practice with the full outcome in mind all the time, you
| severely hinder your ability to narrowly improve, which is
| critical to growth.
|
| I understand this is written to speak more about "practice" in
| the trade sense, but even there I think that's wrong.
| Baeocystin wrote:
| Right there with you. If I am practicing something, it is
| usually a specific aspect of the overall skill. A certain
| aspect of form while I row, a specific approach to shading with
| a pencil, a certain hand position as I work on a difficult
| guitar piece... some element of the larger whole that is given
| my full attention for that session.
|
| If I only ever had the full sequence of $whatever in mind, I
| would severely limit my growth.
| carbonx wrote:
| I used to play pool a fair amount and it reminds me of a quote an
| older player shared with me one time: "Every shot is a practice
| shot". His point was that every time you shot you were building
| up either good or bad habits, so every time you shoot you were to
| shoot the same way. Don't ever just "fuck around" because that
| contributes to bad habits or at least not building good habits.
| juliogreff wrote:
| I saw this worded as "you play like you practice", many years
| ago: https://signalvnoise.com/posts/3504-you-play-like-you-
| practi...
|
| It mentions how people that took self-defense classes would
| hand a gun back to their assailant after disarming them, and
| that stuck with me.
| celaleddin wrote:
| Pre-shot routines come into play to help with that I think. To
| take every shot with the same level of seriousness and
| preparation, whatever the position is.
|
| For the last few years, I want to play pool more and more, but
| going to a club is such a drag for me. Especially when alone. A
| home with a pool table would be great.
|
| A few frames of six-ball every few hours as a break from
| work...
| nikanj wrote:
| Pool should be mandatory part of Y Combinator. Really teaches
| you that ideas are worth jack all, and solid reliable execution
| wins the game every time
| JohnFen wrote:
| > His point was that every time you shot you were building up
| either good or bad habits
|
| This is a really key point about practice. "Practice" doesn't
| automatically mean improvement -- it can just as easily lock in
| the opposite.
|
| You have to actively practice. That is, you have to analyze
| your performance and consciously practice changes that lead to
| improvement.
| nerbitz wrote:
| "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an
| act, but a habit." -- Aristotle
| brw12 wrote:
| I really liked this -- it's so true about my road to programming
| (pseudo-) expertise. Almost everything I've been paid to do, I
| first did on a hobby level, just messing around with my own
| projects and ideas.
| bogrollben wrote:
| I'm at the point where I feel fed up with too much talk about
| self-improvement. It's ok to not be productive and just enjoy
| things. Enjoy relationships, the sunshine, even video games or
| something that is literally a waste of time.
|
| Maybe I got burned out by goal-setting and productivity talk. It
| also might be some remnants of some mild depression I had lately.
| I guess I just don't like feeling pressured to constantly
| improve, otherwise I'm not "living 100%" like I should be.
|
| So when I read things like this, it grates my nerves: >> "In this
| process though you will become a better human being. You will get
| better at living. You will have less pain down the road. Your
| path will be smoother."
|
| It suggests the inverse: that if you're not improving, you're
| less of a human being. I'm not sure if the author meant it that
| way, but that's definitely the way I took it.
| ryangs wrote:
| I think the important thing is to find a balance that satisfies
| you. If you never do any self improvement, you might be missing
| out on a much better life that would cost you relatively little
| to get to. But maybe your current life is hunky-dory, in which
| case, that's great, you do you!
|
| And over-focus on "self-improvement" may mean you miss out on
| things along the way. Making yourself miss those things may be
| more of a decline than improvement for you.
| JohnFen wrote:
| I agree.
|
| I'd only add that, in my opinion, self-improvement should be
| a joy in itself, not a burden or drudgery. If it's not
| joyful, what's the point?
|
| Even if it's just to further your career goals (which it
| shouldn't be just that), the lack of joy in doing it might be
| a strong hint that your career goals are not well-aligned
| with your personality.
| DotaFan wrote:
| Web became place of distraction. Everyone wants your attention.
| Personally, as soon as video starts with "Hear me out.." I turn
| it off.
| JohnFen wrote:
| > It's ok to not be productive and just enjoy things.
|
| It's not only OK, it's absolutely essential.
|
| > if you're not improving, you're less of a human being
|
| I don't think that's the message that you should take. Your
| value as a human being is independent of all that. However, I
| think there's an element of truth to "if you're not growing,
| you're dying."
| prottog wrote:
| > if you're not improving, you're less of a human being
|
| I mean, it's true. The version of you that was a couch potato
| for four hours on a Saturday is less good than the version that
| went for a run, lifted weights, home-brewed beer, met someone
| for coffee, or whatever self-improvement you might have done.
| (I don't agree that enjoying relationships is contrary to self-
| improvement.) Of course, opportunity cost is a thing, and we
| will never know what action or inaction you took was the "best"
| or "right" one.
|
| The better way to approach it, in my view, is to accept the
| fact that if you're not improving and being productive, in some
| ways you are indeed a worse version of you than you could be;
| but in the Stoic tradition, to divorce that fact from how you
| feel about it emotionally -- as you said, it's OK. Perhaps you
| can trend towards being better without self-flagellating when
| you're not.
| ilc wrote:
| Not true at all.
|
| You forget the importance of rest itself in self improvement.
|
| Understanding how to improve, is a lifelong journey.
| Understanding how much to work, how much to rest, how much to
| sharpen the sword, how much you can mix those things... and
| how all this interplays with your personal factors is
| essential to get the most from yourself.
|
| Sometimes... Watching TV and not seeing your friends, or
| whatever is the RIGHT thing to do. And we should have 0 shame
| about it when it is. I'll admit video games are my vice over
| TV in general. But there's times when I've gone too hard...
| and even gaming may be too taxing for what I can take.
| prottog wrote:
| Like I said, opportunity cost is a thing, and we'll never
| know what the "best" choice was at any given time. The best
| choice may be getting rest or watching TV or whatever.
|
| And, like I also said, it's important to not attach
| emotions to your judgment of whether your choice was the
| right one or not; you can reflect upon your choice to play
| a video game over doing some other "productive" thing
| without feeling shame about it. In fact, it's important to
| remain dispassionate in this process.
| lacy_tinpot wrote:
| Productivity making you better or worse makes a needless
| moral judgement. What's better is that being productive
| allows you to accomplish the things you want.
|
| Then the real question becomes about your goals, rather than
| some vague ideas of "work". I think it's better to really
| consider what you want and don't want, and genuinely accept
| them. The productivity scale is not some inherent moral
| metric. This shrouds the intent of productivity, which is to
| accomplish goals.
|
| So you're not worse if you're not being productive, but you
| are worse if you aren't accomplish whatever goals you have
| for yourself. Not because it's some moral failure but simply
| accomplishing goals feels good and not accomplishing them
| feels bad. Further the goals themselves aren't universal.
| They're merely reflections of your innate desires, which you
| have to accept. If you feel like you weren't "productive",
| it's probably closer to say that you feel bad for not
| achieving what you set out to do.
|
| The simple problem here I think is goal setting. Not solely
| productivity itself.
| gausswho wrote:
| I think you have distilled this to an accurate origin.
| Those who are driven to improve wish to live an intentful
| life pursuing their explicit goals.
|
| I would however challenge the corollary that that is an
| objectively more enjoyable life. I find many unhappy
| friends an colleagues grinding on a path of thejr choosing,
| to a pace of their own arbitrary selection.
|
| In my experience, I am most happy when I am goal-less, but
| engaged. Open to happy accidents. Agile to respond to new
| inspirations. Free of burdens imposed either by others or
| myself. I pair this with a drive to bring my pursuits to a
| nice milestone if possible, ideally public like publishing
| a video. But I allow myself to move on if something doesn't
| bring joy anymore.
| lacy_tinpot wrote:
| I don't see why goals need to be anything other than what
| makes you happy. That was kind of the point. Maybe
| "living with intent" is another way to think about it.
| But still I think actual goals should be explicit. If not
| for anything else but to be honest with yourself so that
| you can live sanely.
|
| So even if things are more free flowing the fact that you
| accept the consequences and benefits of living that way
| is still goal oriented, and being productive. Being
| productive in that way can even be playing video games,
| so long as it, the act itself, doesn't interfere with
| what you want.
|
| Be shameless about what you want!
| davidthewatson wrote:
| No, this is just as bad as:
|
| "who the world wants you to be" from the OP.
|
| This is toxic positivity.
|
| There's a place for feedback loops whether you label it tldr;
| GPT, sensemaking, or dislike.
| xboxnolifes wrote:
| > The version of you that was a couch potato for four hours
| on a Saturday is less good than the version that went for a
| run, lifted weights, home-brewed beer, met someone for
| coffee, or whatever self-improvement you might have done.
|
| How so? I see many people assert this, but I've yet to see
| someone be able to articulate why (that isn't trivially
| refutable).
|
| Are we measuring by happiness? Contentment? External
| validation? Popularity? Legacy? Fitness? Total number of
| experiences? Something else? And, for any chosen metric,
| _why_ is that metric important?
| yamtaddle wrote:
| > How so? I see many people assert this, but I've yet to
| see someone be able to articulate why (that isn't trivially
| refutable).
|
| > Are we measuring by happiness? Contentment? External
| validation? Popularity? Legacy? Fitness? Total number of
| experiences? Something else? And, for any chosen metric,
| why is that metric important?
|
| I think this is mostly a distraction.
|
| I don't think most folks find it that hard to separate the
| best 1/3 of things they might reasonably do to fill a free
| hour, from the worst 1/3, for example, or to name on a
| Thursday things they probably ought to do more of in the
| next couple days, because they've not done much of it this
| week, and it's good to do. Absence of iron-clad proof of
| what "good" is doesn't seem to impede them a bit.
| ozim wrote:
| I think only proper metric is "future quality of life".
| Sitting on couch watching TV - you are sure it is not going
| to contribute to your well being in 10-20-40 years. To be
| able to do some pushups while you are 70y.o. - you have to
| do hundreds of pushups while you were 20y.o.
|
| I don't know anyone who wants to have a heart attack or
| spend his last 5-10 years of life in a hospital bed. So I
| am not writing about quality of life like getting a
| Porsche, because grabbing coffee with a friend or home
| brewing won't land you that. Having a habit of doing
| something, walking somewhere gets you going and if someone
| hits 70y.o. and they are couch potato, they will be in for
| a world of pain. Where if they would grab a coffee with
| their friends from time to time do some hobby they will
| have some lasting relations and stuff to do.
|
| Well I suppose it is not trivially refutable - but happy to
| see what would be the refutation.
| copperx wrote:
| To be clear, when someone says "quality of life" they're
| referring to health, well-being, and happiness, whatever
| that is.
|
| Buying a Porsche implies a certain standard of living,
| not quality of life. Completely orthogonal concepts. We
| Americans mix up these concepts frequently, which
| explains a lot about the culture.
| bheadmaster wrote:
| There is no objective "good", only "good for whom". Even
| widely accepted qualities like money, character, physical
| health - they are good to the person that has them, but only
| if they themselves desire such things.
|
| If a person desires peace and quiet and a vacation, then
| getting up at 6am to go to gym and spending time grinding
| leetcode is not good for them, it's a burden.
| prottog wrote:
| > There is no objective "good", only "good for whom".
|
| I think this is at the crux of your and the other
| commenters' points. There can be no final agreement on this
| topic between those who think that there is an objective
| "good" and those who don't.
| waynesonfire wrote:
| > that if you're not improving, you're less of a human being.
|
| If you're not improving, then you're not improving. What more
| is there to that? If you had improved, maybe you'd be a better
| human, or not. Maybe you've transcended the idea and by not
| improving you grow to be a better human. Regardless of the
| scenario, it's your ego that is the judge.
| scarecrowbob wrote:
| That's a relatable feeling.
|
| My understanding is that the larger culture context, in which
| our worth is determined by our value as a worker, would be the
| locus of that feeling. Like, I really don't feel like a
| "better" person because I learned how to use the CLI more
| efficiently.
|
| I may even find the term "better" in that context to be
| offensive: I'm not better because I learned how to deal with
| the shambling tower of shit that is WordPress at the
| institutional level. I enjoy the money and the security of a
| job, but I hate that my security is premised on my willingness
| to put up with that shitty system.
|
| Ironically, the way that I've dealt with my own feelings about
| this has been to lean into dumb crap that obviously has no
| value in a larger context.
|
| Learning chess or getting better at math are a couple of
| examples of things that it just felt fun and freeing to be
| better at, simply because I like them. Lately it's been card
| manipulations.
|
| I've leaned into playing a lot of musical instruments, and I am
| fortunate to work from home as I play literally all day.
|
| And that's been somewhat freeing because as much as I enjoy the
| feeling of improving some of my skills, that enjoyment has been
| often leveraged against me to get me to do jobs I hate. Like,
| I've spent a lot of time fixing dumb stuff just because I have
| learned how to enjoy the process, but since it's dumb stuff
| it's a bit soul crushing to do it unless I just want to do it.
|
| In that context, I feel like I can draw a line between the
| stuff that really is fun and useful to me and the stuff I'm
| able to grind on because that's what I was trained to do.
|
| That distinction has made my practice on a lot of things (from
| music to working on getting better at relating to people) feel
| more liberating and less like shitty hustle culture.
| slothtrop wrote:
| > self-improvement > productive
|
| Self-improvement might be a 'productive' use of time in the
| capacity that it is viewed as a positive, but it's not defined
| exactly by productivity qua work. "Enjoying relationships" and
| sunshine is self-improvement for those who don't; you literally
| just said something prescriptive, which requires action, which
| makes it productive.
|
| Take therapy for instance, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
| The whole point is to help you stop agonizing and indulging
| distorted thinking, to let go of things so you can better enjoy
| your life. That's self-improvement.
|
| The problem with the rhetoric I see here is it's used as a
| deflection against change, when something's wrong. A bait-and-
| switch tactic. "Why worry about grinding away at juggling
| therapy and eating real food and doing the bare minimum
| exercise to stay healthy? Let's not stress ourselves. Drinking
| myself stupid 'sparks joy', I'll just not think about it, life
| is short [insert aphorism]".
|
| I think there's an important difference between slowing down to
| enjoy life and making rationalizations against fixing problems.
| eropple wrote:
| I feel like there's a difference of kind between the hyper-
| competitive "you must be better at this to Be Productive" and
| what's being espoused here.
|
| I've always been a tinkerer and all that. Rarely with any goal
| in mind, either; like the author of this blog post, it's always
| been practice for the sake of it. As I've gotten older, though,
| the benefits of that tinkering have been accruing over time. It
| lends itself to a more thorough understanding of the world,
| which helps in little concrete ways--if you asked me how much I
| know about mechanical systems I'd say "nothing" but in truth I
| can get by pretty well from servicing small woodworking tools
| and from designing stuff for a 3D printer--to the large--having
| a deeper understanding of _why the world is the way it is_
| through history and philosophy and political science.
|
| I do a lot of this practice. I would also say that I'm pretty
| happy and, in most ways, content with where my life is. Doing
| _more_ , at that point, is internal practice, not external
| competition. It's mind-and-soul exercise. And practicing saying
| no, practicing _relaxation_ , counts too. Just, like with
| everything else--don't do that _too_ much.
| SteveDR wrote:
| > In this process though you will become a better human being.
| You will get better at living. You will have less pain down the
| road. Your path will be smoother.
|
| I mean it's hard to argue that you should do things that get in
| the way of this pursuit.
|
| I agree with your sentiment, but I think your definition of
| self-improvement is off if it doesn't include leisure, because
| finding healthy ways of incorporating leisure into your life
| definitely makes your "path" "smoother".
|
| Like, my ideal self isn't a 100x engineer that sleeps at the
| office most nights. My ideal self spends time with his family,
| and cares for friends even if they don't offer me anything
| tangible, and has hobbies that won't result in measurable
| benefits to my "productivity". So doing those things is self-
| improvement because I'm moving towards my own definition of
| success.
| dbtc wrote:
| > It's ok to not be productive and just enjoy things. Enjoy
| relationships, the sunshine, even video games or something that
| is literally a waste of time.
|
| That's not so easy for some folks, at least at first. Not until
| they... practice ;)
| switchbak wrote:
| Contentment is a real thing, and valuable. There's a balance
| between trying to improve and being ok with how you are in your
| life right now. I think North American society takes things a
| bit too far down the side of self improvement.
|
| If you take my 12 step course, you too can learn how to level
| up your Contentment Quotient. If you act now we'll also throw
| in a free weight loss program!
| llamataboot wrote:
| You can also practice being content and happy not improving, I
| think that's still a "practice" in the sense of this essay
| itsmemattchung wrote:
| > There is no finish line. There is no winning, no losing.
|
| There is a finish line, but I think the goal post moves over and
| over and over again. Historically, every time I set a goal, I
| would think to myself, "once I do/get/achieve X, I'll be happy."
| In retrospective, I care less about the goal and find myself most
| joyful throughout the process of achieving said goal.
| JohnFen wrote:
| I don't think you're disagreeing with what you quote.
| Constantly moving the finish line is functionally the same as
| there being no finish line. The "finish line" becomes a
| milestone instead of an end.
|
| > I care less about the goal and find myself most joyful
| throughout the process of achieving said goal.
|
| People often misunderstand the concept of "enlightenment" by
| thinking of it as an end state to be achieved. It's not.
| "Enlightenment" is not an achievable goal, it's a direction to
| walk along your path. The real thing is the walking of the path
| itself.
| epolanski wrote:
| That's baceause society bombs us with slogans such as "you'll
| be truly happy when you will obtain X", it's hard to deprogram.
| paulpauper wrote:
| 'Practice' seems like yet another overused buzzword. Same for the
| expression 'doing the work'. I am not sure who popularized
| it...maybe Seth Godin or Ryan Holiday. I think too many people
| waste too much time with practice when what they need is to learn
| better execution and cut losses sooner. Sometimes practice is not
| good enough. Doing more is not better. Persistence does not
| always pay off.
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