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How did you transform your life after a major setback?



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|u/tjalek - 3 hours
|
|Taking ownership   Being authentically grateful for the lessons from
|the situation.  You can't transform your life by only being the
|victim..you have to own yourself to transform through it.  I cried so
|much. Journalled so much. Friends helped me so so much.  But damn it's
|what got me through. The days began to feel less shit. I began to eat
|more regularly and I actually began to enjoy life.  No alcohol, no
|substances or vapes. Nothing.  Lots of therapy. Those therapists just
|hit me with truths that moved me.


    |u/Intrepid_Physics_624 - 2 hours
    |
    |The past can’t hurt you if you stop letting it hang around like a
    |ghost. Own it, learn from it, then tell it to take a hike!


    |u/tjalek - 2 hours
    |
    |Amen


  |u/Intrepid_Physics_624 - 2 hours
  |
  |That’s some serious transformation right there—no shortcuts, just
  |hard work, a lot of tears, and a whole lotta therapy. It's like
  |leveling up in real life. Plus, not needing substances to cope?
  |That’s basically the 'boss fight' of personal growth.


|u/Chaos-n-Dissonance - 3 hours
|
|Cut out the rot and focused on what was left.


  |u/shuntmastr211 - 3 hours
  |
  |Something I’m working on. The house is gone all I have is the
  |foundation left. Time to rebuild.


    |u/Eirevampire - 2 hours
    |
    |Oh this analogy is so painfully perfect. In my mind it looked and
    |felt like the moment in Wandavision when we saw her look at the
    |plans for the house standing amongst the foundations, before that
    |scream of pain and she built the house up around herself like a
    |shield.  But yep. Our foundation never goes, it's up to us how we
    |need our space to become for the future. (all wibbly wobbly timey
    |wimey moments included)


      |u/Intrepid_Physics_624 - 2 hours
      |
      |A little pain, a little chaos, but you’ve got the foundation and
      |the power to reshape it into something that works for you. Timey
      |wimey, superpowers, and all.


    |u/Intrepid_Physics_624 - 2 hours
    |
    |You’re starting with a clean slate. New walls, new roof, new *you.*
    |The house may be gone, but what you build next? That's on your
    |terms.


  |u/Intrepid_Physics_624 - 2 hours
  |
  |It’s like clearing out the junk drawer and realizing you have way
  |more space than you thought


|u/pindarico - 3 hours
|
|Got sober, started eating healthy and doing sports!


  |u/Eirevampire - 2 hours
  |
  |Physically disabled here so sports, apart from chair yoga, are out.
  |But agree 100% with being sober. Not even '1 pint' if out. And if
  |anyone starts that infuriating "ah go 'an go' an, just a pint" I just
  |jingle my bunch of keys up beside my head (house and car fob thing
  |all together) and say I'm the designated driver and have to travel
  |early.  It's a lot quick than explaining the whole tome of reasons.
  |It usually ensures they respond kindly, with understanding. And
  |sometimes I get a nice sparkling water offer instead. Which I always
  |gratefully accept.  Chair yoga, started off completely useless at it
  |as I was laughing too hard at the absurdity of it. Laughter causes
  |quite a dopamine waterfall shower for me anyways, especially those
  |moment when you and your bezzie get into that "crying with laughter,
  |can't speak coherently, snorts," hysterical laughter. I love those.
  |But after 2 weeks, oh OK I lied, it took 4 weeks before I became a
  |bit more consistent, things felt better, I was able to begin
  |planking, and moobs are becoming less mooby.  Everyone's journey is
  |personal a takes time.


    |u/Intrepid_Physics_624 - 2 hours
    |
    |Sobriety? Check. Chair yoga? You’re mastering it, even if it
    |started with laughter (which, by the way, is the best workout).


  |u/Intrepid_Physics_624 - 2 hours
  |
  |Sober, healthy, and getting fit? You're basically the main character
  |in a *feel-good* movie. Keep that momentum going.


    |u/pindarico - 1 hour
    |
    |It’s been 10 years now and I haven’t regretted since then!


|u/VirginNsd2002 - 3 hours
|
|Accept, forgive, move on, stay focused


  |u/Intrepid_Physics_624 - 2 hours
  |
  |The four-step recipe for peace.


|u/Sigbac - 3 hours
|
|Take responsibility and realize all the excuses will ever be are
|excuses, don't listen to them


  |u/Intrepid_Physics_624 - 2 hours
  |
  |Excuses are like a cozy blanket. They feel nice at first, but they
  |just keep you stuck in one spot. Once you toss that blanket and stand
  |up, you realize how much more room you have to move!


|u/gustingman - 2 hours
|
|I listened to the doctors and did the physiotherapy.  Hurt like a
|bastard,  but no wheelchair,  crutches, or a cane after a year.  Do the
|work.


|u/keyboardcowboy89 - 3 hours
|
|Got two jobs


|u/WindyWindona - 3 hours
|
|Got fired from work. Decided to go back to school and applied for a
|masters abroad, got a contract job while applying and waiting for the
|semester to start. Now I'm in Germany working on a higher degree to get
|a better job at a very reasonable price.


  |u/Intrepid_Physics_624 - 2 hours
  |
  |Talk about turning a setback into a glow-up!


    |u/WindyWindona - 1 hour
    |
    |The Best Revenge Is Living Well is my life motto and it makes
    |things so much better.


|u/head_meet_keyboard - 2 hours
|
|Got diagnosed with MS. Couldn't walk for a while. Realized that my life
|was going to get much harder the older I got (people with Relapsing
|Remitting MS typically go into Secondary Progressive MS which is
|exactly what it sounds like). Knew if I wanted to do something, I had
|to do it now. Took a course on how to run an animal rescue through Best
|Friends. Learned a lot. Learned that I didn't want to do anything but
|train dogs and help animals. Now I train dogs and write grants for
|animal shelters.   When you have a major setback, especially one
|involving a permanent change in health, you mourn your old life. It's
|crushing that you realize the life you had where you didn't have to
|worry about this new illness is over. But once you accept it and
|grieve, you focus on what needs to be done because you likely don't
|have the freedom or time you had before.


  |u/Goski777 - 2 hours
  |
  |What a powerful response! 👍🏼


|u/unused_ovaries - 3 hours
|
|Got a new job.


|u/susie123 - 2 hours
|
|I forgive myself. Kicking myself over past failures won't change what
|happened, it will just leave me sore from being kicked so much. So I've
|given up all hope for a better past. I own who I've been so it doesn't
|own me.


|u/Gorgeous12Muse - 2 hours
|
|Lost my job during covid and hit rock bottom. Started learning web
|development through free online courses while living on savings. Two
|years later, I'm a senior developer at a tech startup making triple my
|old salary. Sometimes rock bottom is just the foundation you build
|upon.


|u/Gizmo535 - 3 hours
|
|Start over in another place.


|u/Spare-Requirement-17 - 3 hours
|
|Got into therapy, looking for a job in a new field, communication
|changed big time.  Not happy about the setback but thankful.


|u/mormonenomore2 - 2 hours
|
|Just kept going, until things felt more normal.


|u/Miserable-Win-6402 - 2 hours
|
|Put myself first


|u/NockiA8gn - 2 hours
|
|Paid off my debts slowly but surely and worked my ass off to buy a
|house. Took years but it was worth it.


|u/Alternative_One_103 - 2 hours
|
|I stopped caring, and I took it. Realizing that If I have others with
|me, things that I care for, and confidence and courage, I can get
|through it as if it cant hurt me


  |u/Goski777 - 2 hours
  |
  |Great attitude! You can do it!


    |u/Alternative_One_103 - 2 hours
    |
    |Thanks


|u/Humble_Prize4808 - 2 hours
|
|*One step at a time, and now I’m miles away from where I started*


|u/WrenTheEgg - 2 hours
|
|got kicked out on my 18th bday but that gave me the drive and
|independence to start going after getting a doctor and insurance and
|getting on Estrogen and t blockers.  I’m now 4 1/2 months on my meds, 7
|months homeless and dealing with other problems but i’ve never been
|happier, i’m on my way to becoming myself ^ ^   Also i’ve realized how
|amazing the people around me that do what they can to help are :>


|u/SouthernVoice4260 - 2 hours
|
|*The setback wasn’t my end. It was just the plot twist I needed to make
|my story better*


|u/angela-bby - 3 hours
|
|Takes many steps, but the first and the most important one is planning.
|You cannot just start running and expect to get to the finish line
|without proper planning beforehand.


|u/FoxWyrd - 3 hours
|
|Went back to school.


|u/Ok_Silver441 - 3 hours
|
|dm me if you’re not my sister


|u/freelancer_wa_ke - 2 hours
|
|🥲stuck in the mad


|u/swishamane420 - 2 hours
|
|you can do that?


|u/Bridge-_-Troll - 2 hours
|
|Whatever type of fear is holding you back, just let it overwhelm you
|until you realize nothings going to change until you either die or not
|give a fuck and do it anyways 👍🏼


|u/EvilOdysseus - 2 hours
|
|I realised how overweight I had gotten and made the change. I started
|every day by jogging around my block. Every day without fail, no matter
|how hot or cold it was. 6 months of that and a decent diet shed a lot.
|5 years later and I'm at my healthiest I've ever been.


|u/Apprehensive-Bite585 - 2 hours
|
|Which time? (Hahaha...actually, not a joke, but sometimes all we can do
|is look back and laugh, right?)  You just gotta chip away at it. Learn
|from your experience. You *can* rebuild, and be reborn. It could always
|be worse. Count the blessings you have, and pick yourself up and move
|forward. You can get all deep and philosophical while reflecting on it,
|but save that for when you’re able to comfortably take a breather


|u/Sweaty-Feedback-1482 - 2 hours
|
|Heavy drinking and hard drugs… you didn’t mention whether the
|transformation was positive or not /s


|u/malcolmrobles - 2 hours
|
|I got experience. I continued to move forward with this experience and
|using it.


|u/nitenite79 - 2 hours
|
|After leaving my ex husband who is a serial cheat, liar and user. I got
|my career sorted, got into a sport where I’ve won gold medals and I
|have a happy life with a better husband


|u/tangouniform2020 - 2 hours
|
|Went back to school for three years and took a 90 in carrers


|u/mav747 - 2 hours
|
|I persevered, adapted, and grew stronger.


|u/Sad_Cartographer2416 - 2 hours
|
|I reached an all time low 6 months ago. My body was full of aches, I
|frequented black p/ll forums, gained unhealthy amounts of weight in
|addition to already being obese, every part of my body ached, I fought
|with my parents 24/7 and had no goals and kept failing classes.  Then,
|I decided to change things around. First of all, I bought a fitness
|smart watch for about $150 which I slowly started using to take daily
|walks. At first, it was 2-3 times a week and only 10 minute walks. Now,
|I have been walking for 2 hours at a time every day for over 40 days.
|Then, I started taking my antidepressants again and within a month I
|started to feel better. Then, I joined a gym 3 months ago but never
|went there. I joined again and found a doable full body routine that's
|safe to do. I already lost 10-12 kilos of body fat.  Then, I started
|forcing myself to have entertaining activities. I created a Steam
|account and purchased my childhood's best games. Then, I subscribed to
|entertaining YouTube channels and watch a few shows every now and then.
|Then, I decided to pursue my passion in learning languages and joined a
|face to face language class that's once a week. I get to socialize with
|like minded people and to do positive things. Going outside and
|interacting with others improved my mood, and the weekly class gives me
|enough positive energy to survive the whole week.  And today, for the
|first time ever, I have slept from 9:00 PM to 6:30 AM and woke up
|refreshed, ready to take on the day. Before I would sleep for 4 hours a
|night, from 3:00-4:00 AM to 10:00 AM. I was always groggy, tired, in a
|bad mood, etc.  My grades at uni have gone up considerably, and doing
|low impact exercises improved my health immensely. My knee, feet, and
|elbows no longer hurt, and I feel better all around.  I am still
|looking on what to do to not just maintain my gains and not relapse
|into what I was before, but to become even better.


|u/Kitcat-cat - 2 hours
|
|Just learn from the past and keep moving forward. I know it's hard and
|painful sometimes. I've definitely been guilty of staying in the same
|spot for a while and feeling like you're walking on circles. One big
|thing I've learned is it's usually those things you avoid that are
|painful and uncomfortable that help you grow the most when you face
|them head on.


|u/xoxojkBunny - 2 hours
|
|Got laid off from my dream job in 2019. Instead of wallowing I used my
|severance to start a small bakery from my kitchen. Now I have my own
|storefront and five employees. Sometimes the worst moments push you
|toward what you're actually meant to do.


|u/Imaginary_Job9041 - 2 hours
|
|Decided to keep breathing rather then ending it...cigarettes and booze
|help lol


|u/ChloeRadiant - 2 hours
|
|i focused on learning from it and taking small steps forward


|u/livelycharm - 2 hours
|
|I started focusing on small, manageable wins - like setting a routine,
|journaling, and finding time for exercise. Over time those little steps
|added up and gave me the momentum to rebuild. It wasn't easy but it
|taught me resilience and the value of patience. What worked for you?


|u/xoxocami1 - 2 hours
|
|learned from it, took it one step at a time, and kept moving forward


|u/Affectionate-kittkat - 1 hour
|
|Aside from living in the ashes of my failure, what other choice do I
|have but to recover and rebuild?


|u/imjustagirl69x - 1 hour
|
|I focused on small, positive changes every day, rebuilt my routine, and
|reminded myself that setbacks are just part of the journey.


|u/Ambitious_Shine_1555 - 1 hour
|
|I started treating life like a video game... major setback? Cool, it’s
|just the boss fight before the power-up. Leveled up my mental health,
|upgraded my friends list, and added self-care to my skill tree. Still
|waiting for the loot drop, though lol


|u/313deezy - 1 hour
|
|Take a deep breath.   Today's the first day of the rest of your life.


|u/Stunning-Stranger683 - 1 hour
|
|Just took a step back, focused on what matters, and started fresh. It
|wasn’t easy, but things fell into place eventually.


|u/Artchantress - 1 hour
|
|Very slowly. I'm still in the process of it 7 years later but I feel
|myself to be on the right track and becoming myself again in thousands
|of tiniest incremental steps taken year by year.  The setback was
|becoming pregnant and uprooting my life and moving to another town to
|be with the dad, with whom we had a rocky relationship at first for a
|long time.


|u/KentonCoooooool - 1 hour
|
|Started running/jogging. I would never recommend people do it, I don't
|push it on anyone. But if it's innate and in you, then you'll get it.


|u/FluffySugarBabe - 1 hour
|
|I took some time to reflect, reassessed my priorities, and slowly
|started making small changes. It wasn’t an overnight fix, but it helped
|me get back on track


|u/sandpaperflu - 1 hour
|
|Found the tao te ching.


|u/Kimihro - 1 hour
|
|I took on a fuckton of debt and lucked into a better job  I used to be
|hopeless, but now I'm just overworked and poor. Hooray!


|u/Jenarhere - 1 hour
|
|I lost $150,000 in my previous business. It was, of course, a terrible
|experience, but it allowed me to gain new knowledge and start a new
|venture. Now, I work online and have traveled across all of Asia in the
|past two years. Failures push us forward, and there's no way around
|them.


|u/devilman138 - 57 minutes
|
|The main piece of advice that got me rolling:  "Focus on what you can
|control"   If there's things out of your hands, don't dwell on it,
|focus on what you CAN control, improve and be the best person you can
|be.


|u/CatostrophicFailure - 30 minutes
|
|I transformed my anger into a daily dark depression.  I used to use
|drugs, but that got boring, so I'm just a miserable human being now.
|I'm just as shitty, just sober and shitty.


|u/Fun_Intention9846 - 9 minutes
|
|One tiny step at a time. Built habits that are self-correcting and
|protect against further destruction. Built a tool box as big as a
|garage full of effective coping methods.   And then focused on enjoying
|myself responsibly and in healthy ways. It’s a life I’m proud to have
|and proud to be responsible for.