←Back
What's something you should never do naked?



########################################################################

|u/Lola_from_Punkston - 17 hours
|
|Babysitting


  |u/Ronnz123 - 17 hours
  |
  |One should not sit on babies, period.


    |u/cystopulis - 17 hours
    |
    |One should not sit on babies while on their period.


      |u/Grakees - 16 hours
      |
      |You've got red on you.


        |u/na_batman - 16 hours
        |
        |It’s only ketchup, darling


          |u/Pleuel - 16 hours
          |
          |Is this a red herring?


            |u/Hanzerwagen - 15 hours
            |
            |If it looks like a red herring and it smells like a red
            |herring...


              |u/redditthrowaway663 - 11 hours
              |
              |Can you cut down a tree with it?


              |u/Ganymede_Wordsmyth - 12 hours
              |
              |It's actually beef...?


        |u/Asleep_Syllabub3605 - 13 hours
        |
        |Allo maaaate


      |u/ARandomChocolateCake - 14 hours
      |
      |I have yet to see a baby on their period


        |u/RetroArchaic - 12 hours
        |
        |I always put mine on question marks


    |u/Uncle_Baconn - 15 hours
    |
    |Mrs. McTwitter, the babysitter, I think she's a little bit crazy.
    |I think she thinks a sitter's supposed to sit upon the baby.  -Shel
    |Silverstein


      |u/EyelandBaby - 8 hours
      |
      |You left out two syllables. She thinks a babysitter’s.


    |u/Glittering-Place-628 - 15 hours
    |
    |HAHAHHAHAHAJA


    |u/TheKingMonkey - 15 hours
    |
    |What if you’re a duck and they are still in their eggs?


    |u/dammmiao - 14 hours
    |
    |I've laughed so hard 🤣


  |u/billythekid3300 - 16 hours
  |
  |I don't know I feel like somebody out there would probably pay extra
  |for that


    |u/Cosmic_Meditator777 - 6 hours
    |
    |you'd do well in politics and/or the anime industry.


    |u/Many_Patience5179 - 16 hours
    |
    |Now you're instilling bad ideas in my brain


  |u/We_The_Raptors - 17 hours
  |
  |Damn, are you saying Pornhub lied to us??


  |u/RevRon_FUCK - 15 hours
  |
  |Depends... Are the families nudists?


|u/stupidfock - 17 hours
|
|Welding


  |u/MrBojanglez - 16 hours
  |
  |For people who don’t know it’s not for the reason you think. It’s not
  |the sparks or the potential burns of molten metal.   It’s the
  |sunburn, welding emits high amounts of UV radiation. Several hundred
  |times more than you can get from the sun or a tanning bed. It can
  |take as little as 60 seconds to get a severe sunburn from welding.
  |I was welding shirtless in high school and my dad came out and told
  |me to put a shirt on or I’d regret it. I figured he was talking about
  |the sparks that, for the most part, don’t hurt. I remember thinking
  |those sparks don’t hurt me. I learned a valuable lesson that day,
  |worst sunburn of my life. My nipples peeled.


    |u/Dangerous_Acadia_690 - 16 hours
    |
    |So you’re saying I can tan faster?


      |u/Additional_Crab_1678 - 16 hours
      |
      |So you're saying I can TAN?


        |u/mustard_in_my_ass - 15 hours
        |
        |But it would be a SIN.


          |u/Additional_Crab_1678 - 15 hours
          |
          |I need me a COSIN


            |u/mustard_in_my_ass - 15 hours
            |
            |What's up cuz?


              |u/Fit-Somewhere-7350 - 15 hours
              |
              |So much hyp. This thread is lit!


                |u/Smooth_Detective - 7 hours
                |
                |Wait a SECANT, I don't get it at all!


              |u/DigitalUnlimited - 14 hours
              |
              |What are you doing step-cousin?


                |u/DogmaticConfabulate - 11 hours
                |
                |Here we go!! Porno time!!


                  |u/Chocoboy_YT - 11 hours
                  |
                  |# Whoops! Can't Show That in a Christian Manga!


            |u/Jack5h1t - 13 hours
            |
            |You guys really went off on a TANGENT there.


            |u/Menelatency - 10 hours
            |
            |Now you’re off on a tan, gent.


          |u/HatdanceCanada - 14 hours
          |
          |No, it would be a sine from God.


        |u/AssTubeExcursion - 12 hours
        |
        |Just because you TAN, doesn’t mean you should


        |u/mauore11 - 12 hours
        |
        |The tanning industry HATES this trick.


    |u/UnknownCubicle - 16 hours
    |
    |TIG welding in a V-neck gave me the shittiest Superman logo ever.


      |u/CarrotWannabe - 13 hours
      |
      |When I was learning the basics, the instructors told us to cover
      |up well and explained the risks with the UV radiation. I thought
      |I did a great job at covering up. What I didn’t notice was a tiny
      |V from my shirt. I had an extremely dark tanned triangle on my
      |chest for months.


        |u/justadumbwelder1 - 12 hours
        |
        |The left side of my face, just under the rear of the jaw where
        |it blends into my neck, is permanently about 2 shades darker
        |than the rest of my body. Too many years of leaning over to
        |come off the bottom on pipe welds.


    |u/PRC_Spy - 14 hours
    |
    |And don't be me, and think looking away from the arc is good
    |enough. Wear welding goggles, because you won't look away enough.
    |'Arc eye' is sunburn inside your eyes, and it's as truly awful as
    |that implies.


      |u/One-Permission-1811 - 12 hours
      |
      |Feels like sandpaper, lemon juice, and razor blades being rubbed
      |into your eyes. Blinking doesn’t help. Closing your eyes doesn’t
      |help. Rubbing makes it worse. Best you can do is get numbing eye
      |drops from an optometrist and wait it out


      |u/brando56894 - 11 hours
      |
      |I remember when I was about ten or so, my dad bought my brother
      |and I a bad ass go-kart. Like 25 HP (that may be completely off
      |this was like 25+ years ago) or more. Part of the tubular frame
      |snapped in a place that could be welded, so my dad brought it to
      |a local shop and I remember the welder telling my dad to cover my
      |eyes (my dad knew about the dangers, even though he's not a
      |welder himself). Without saying a word he completely covered my
      |eyes with his hand and turned my head away.


      |u/Emu1981 - 8 hours
      |
      |>And don't be me, and think looking away from the arc is good
      |enough.  And if you are welding in a area where others are then
      |be sure to use your welding curtain to help prevent others from
      |potentially suffering from arc flash.


      |u/Bennington_Booyah - 7 hours
      |
      |Oh, yes. My husband welded "quickly" without proper eyewear once
      |on July 3, and at 1 am, woke me, sobbing that he was blind! I had
      |to take him to an ER. They treated him and wrapped his eyes! We
      |were having a huge family party at noon the next day, so believe
      |me when I saw it was a rough holiday.


    |u/stupidfock - 16 hours
    |
    |Yep, I learned to weld in the world of race cars where most people
    |besides the pros building cages learn in their garage for small
    |stuff. So many people I know learned to suit up the hard way, glad
    |I chose an introduction class instead of YouTube for my first time
    |or I may have ended up burnt too


      |u/Glum_Plane_1218 - 14 hours
      |
      |I also learned not to wear frayed pants. Those frays are
      |flammable…


        |u/MischaBurns - 12 hours
        |
        |If you've never been on fire are you really a welder? 😁


        |u/Dr_Blunt_11 - 10 hours
        |
        |Bro if I had a nickel for everytime I caught long sleeve cotton
        |shirts on fire I could have bought at least 2 more long sleeve
        |cotton shirts from goodwill to catch on fire again lmao. The
        |inside part of your arms at the elbow makes a great shelf for
        |catching slag and sparks


    |u/gogozrx - 14 hours
    |
    |>My nipples peeled.  HAWT!


    |u/sacrebIue - 14 hours
    |
    |I had quite a bad burn at the bottom of my throat. The mask i used
    |that day at school was too small for me. It burned and itched like
    |crazy... i learned a valuable lesson as well that day.


    |u/ClayMitchellCapital - 12 hours
    |
    |This is 100% true.  When I was younger I was building a big smoker
    |and I was welding at night with my shop doors open with no shirt
    |on.  People would stop by on occasion to chat and on this night, I
    |didn't hear a pickup drive up but I heard a voice saying "You are
    |gonna sunburn yo tiddys"  It was my fire chief and even though I
    |didn't give it much thought... he was right.  Luckily not bad
    |enough to make my nipples peel.  Ha


    |u/HenkVanDelft - 12 hours
    |
    |You just had to nipple it all up, di’n ya, Son? All these nice
    |folks come to hear a nice sunburn story snd now they all got
    |nipple-on-the-brain-shock syndrome.  Don’t tell ‘em how you was
    |welding up a Prince Albert, they don’t need penis on their nipped
    |up minds too…  Kids these days…where’d I leave my butt scratcher?


    |u/Acromegalic - 14 hours
    |
    |Oooof.


    |u/BentGadget - 14 hours
    |
    |>I learned a valuable lesson that day,  Probably the next day
    |before you really learned.


    |u/Mikesaidit36 - 14 hours
    |
    |But don’t the sparks hurt too? I thought I saw a welder with a ton
    |of marks on his skin that appeared to be all from sparks. Permanent
    |little scars.


  |u/Sure-Crew-2418 - 16 hours
  |
  |I was going to say cooking bacon but yeah welding would suck more


  |u/AlternativeCarrot566 - 17 hours
  |
  |That’s the only way I’ve ever welded


    |u/Zarniwoooop - 17 hours
    |
    |I keep one sock on, just in case.


      |u/Bloody_Smashing - 16 hours
      |
      |This sock isn't the kind for feet.


        |u/BBO1007 - 15 hours
        |
        |TIL there’s socks for feet.


      |u/Daviino - 17 hours
      |
      |Rookie mistake. Safety flip flops are the way to go. Health
      |first!


        |u/Icy-Bar-9712 - 17 hours
        |
        |Hell no, crocs are the only way to weld. Too much of the
        |splatter will bounce off of flip flops. Crocs funnel and keep
        |it against the skin.   Best way to keep your feet warm in the
        |winter!


        |u/stilldbi - 16 hours
        |
        |I don’t think the sock is on his foot


      |u/M_artyJ - 16 hours
      |
      |Where?


      |u/ChordSlinger - 17 hours
      |
      |Go on…


        |u/mySBRshootsblanks - 17 hours
        |
        |It's the safety sock. It doesn't go on the feet.


          |u/Undeniable_filth - 16 hours
          |
          |I'm not very good at welding, but my buddy Socko is! (The
          |sock is on my left hand in puppet format, whipping tight
          |welds)


          |u/Rogue_Aviator - 16 hours
          |
          |Goes on the third leg in the middle right? 😂😂😂


            |u/Slutty_Brontosaurus - 16 hours
            |
            |You have a third leg? Might want to seek medical attention


            |u/mySBRshootsblanks - 16 hours
            |
            |Yeaaaa. The foot was amputated when I was about yay big.
            |It's just a stump now.


  |u/Dirac_comb - 16 hours
  |
  |I once spent an evening welding, and it was so hot that I took my
  |shirt off, but still wore my apron, gloves, and protective sleeves.
  |It was TIG welding, and pretty much every spot that wasn't covered
  |was burnt to shit. It was pain and misery for days after.


  |u/Agitated_Year8521 - 16 hours
  |
  |My first thought also, second was dropping off/picking the kids up
  |from school


  |u/Barbishmarbi - 15 hours
  |
  |I Did A Thing would argue otherwise.


|u/Responsible_Law_3051 - 17 hours
|
|Cook bacon


  |u/grbrent - 16 hours
  |
  |Real story! My step-dad was cooking bacon in the oven without a shirt
  |on. Some of the grease popped and hit him right in the belly button.
  |It burned through his skin and into his abdomen requiring surgery to
  |fix.  In surgery and with some imaging, they found stage 2 colon
  |cancer. So, if it wasn't for the burn, he wouldn't have known about
  |his cancer because he had no symptoms.


    |u/Patchumz - 14 hours
    |
    |Sounds like everyone should be frying naked just in case!


      |u/I-seddit - 9 hours
      |
      |Yah, brb.


        |u/sns_kar - 38 minutes
        |
        |you back?


    |u/yestoness - 13 hours
    |
    |Sounds like that really saved his bacon


      |u/grbrent - 13 hours
      |
      |That time... He died last winter from a massive heart attack
      |while he was snowblowing.


        |u/Scholarly_Koala - 12 hours
        |
        |The bacon giveth, and the bacon taketh away.


          |u/andrez444 - 10 hours
          |
          |This is so wrong but so funny


          |u/Swizzlers - 5 hours
          |
          |This made me softly snort, which is the highest possible
          |praise I can give to an Internet joke.   Take my upvote.


        |u/yestoness - 13 hours
        |
        |Ah, man, I'm sorry to hear that. Sounds like you probably have
        |many good stories to remember him by.


        |u/INAC___Kramerica - 9 hours
        |
        |Wish my dad had the same luck previously at least...he also had
        |asymptomatic colon cancer that didn't begin to manifest until
        |it was way too late to do anything. As it turned out, by the
        |time he got diagnosed (metastatic), he was already on death's
        |door. He died two days later.   This all just happened in the
        |last two weeks.


        |u/AgentGiga - 13 hours
        |
        |I’m sorry for your loss.


          |u/grbrent - 13 hours
          |
          |Thank you. He had a good heart. Raised me when my bio dad was
          |more interested in drugs and alcohol


            |u/DCx8 - 10 hours
            |
            |Obviously it wasn’t good enough


            |u/DCx8 - 10 hours
            |
            |All jokes aside I am sorry for your loss


        |u/I-seddit - 9 hours
        |
        |Was he blowing snow naked?   and, really sorry for your loss.


        |u/Q-burt - 13 hours
        |
        |I'm sorry for your loss. My dad died of a heart attack. It's so
        |hard after that.


    |u/bwoah07_gp2 - 14 hours
    |
    |Holy cow, that's wild! 


    |u/ExerciseAshamed208 - 12 hours
    |
    |So do cook bacon naked?


    |u/hughranass2 - 11 hours
    |
    |How did the grease get him if it was in the oven?


  |u/justalittlebear01 - 17 hours
  |
  |or any fats/oils


    |u/PantsDontHaveAnswers - 15 hours
    |
    |I shouldn't deep fry a turkey inside my home in my birthday gear?


      |u/Zech08 - 15 hours
      |
      |Only frozen ones direct to fryer.


  |u/DrunkenMcSlurpee - 16 hours
  |
  |On a parallel personal safety note... Guys... Always wear gloves to
  |chop jalapeños.


    |u/Buddyslime - 15 hours
    |
    |HA! Tell me about it! I chopped all the peppers for salsa one time
    |and had to take a piss so I went to the can, pulled it out and 5
    |minutes later my wife asked me why I was crying and yelling so
    |hard.


      |u/DrunkenMcSlurpee - 15 hours
      |
      |"Why is your dick in a glass of milk!?!?"


        |u/Werdna517 - 11 hours
        |
        |I almost choked on my drink reading this 😂


          |u/DrunkenMcSlurpee - 11 hours
          |
          |Was it milk?


    |u/jendet010 - 12 hours
    |
    |Don’t touch your eyes and for the love of God don’t touch the vag.


    |u/Unable_Holiday8455 - 10 hours
    |
    |Jalepeno are Childs play. I cut up some Trinidad Scorpions,
    |Carolina Reaper, and Primotolli red peppers to make batches of
    |salsa a couple months ago. It literally soaked into my pores when
    |it was cooking. Felt like I was badly sunburned anywhere my skin
    |was exposed. The oils must have soaked into my hands. Every time I
    |touched near my eyes or nose or took a leak it lit me up. Lost my
    |sense of taste. Couldn’t even sense heat even tasting salsa with
    |these super hots in them. I thought I was permanently ruined. Will
    |never grow them again.


  |u/Swizzlers - 17 hours
  |
  |Came here to say this and I know because I’ve made bad choices…


    |u/Responsible_Law_3051 - 17 hours
    |
    |You're not the only one


    |u/MyLife-is-a-diceRoll - 15 hours
    |
    |one of my brothers made this mistake. once.    He still has scars
    |from it years later.


    |u/Wrong_Development484 - 16 hours
    |
    |Yep, far from the only one, admittedly I had underwear on but now I
    |have a scar.


  |u/IrishWithoutPotatoes - 13 hours
  |
  |When I was in the Army, one of my buddies would always add to the
  |weekend safety briefing:   Don’t fry bacon naked.   Unfortunately the
  |fact it has to be uttered at all speaks to the intelligence of some
  |members of society.


  |u/jetjordan - 15 hours
  |
  |Man i lived in a "U" shaped building in NYC and there was a dude
  |across the courtyard from me that had a little curtain in his kitchen
  |window that would hide his nudity IF YOU LIVED ACROSS FROM HIM ONLY.
  |We lived a floor below so the curtain covered his belly button to
  |nipple area.  Dong on display every time he cooked naked.  My roomate
  |hated him becuase we could always see his junk.  I hated him because
  |of the sheer gall of cooking naked.


  |u/alexbcous - 14 hours
  |
  |Never cook bacon outside, naked, when it's raining.


  |u/emptygroove - 14 hours
  |
  |One day I'm in the living room, my brother goes into the kitchen. A
  |few minutes go by and I'm hearing "Ah. Ow. OW! Dammit, DAMMIT!" and
  |things banging around. Run into the kitchen to find my brother
  |cooking bacon shirtless.  Trying to grab the pan and push him away
  |from the stove while laughing hysterically was a challenge.


|u/Sweet_Tea761 - 16 hours
|
|Run through a corn field backwards


  |u/SplattrKing13 - 16 hours
  |
  |Country girls make do


    |u/eggs__and_bacon - 15 hours
    |
    |I understood that reference.


      |u/crsmay - 14 hours
      |
      |Help I don’t get it


        |u/Vashsinn - 13 hours
        |
        |City folk translation would be     >anything is a dildo if
        |you're brave enough


        |u/healthcrusade - 13 hours
        |
        |“Ever take your clothes off and run backwards through a
        |cornfield?” is a line from the movie “Half Baked”


          |u/LemonPartyW0rldTour - 13 hours
          |
          |They’re referring to the “Country Girls Make Do” phrase.


        |u/Joonakkivene - 14 hours
        |
        |Literally Google it  Look at images


  |u/UncleJetMints - 16 hours
  |
  |This seems oddly specific and based on experience.


  |u/anormalgeek - 16 hours
  |
  |Hey now, don't kink shame.


  |u/dantodd - 15 hours
  |
  |The ER doctors never believe you.


  |u/InvertedNoob - 9 hours
  |
  |“I swear doctor, it was an accident! I fell and the corn got stuck up
  |my ass!”


  |u/Cool_Guy_Braydan - 12 hours
  |
  |i don't get it, can someone please explain


  |u/BalancesHanging - 16 hours
  |
  |Ok that’s got me in stitches lol


    |u/dannydrama - 15 hours
    |
    |Well stop doing it then


      |u/BalancesHanging - 14 hours
      |
      |Hey now wait a minute…I wasn’t confessing to actually doing this
      |lol


  |u/GlorifiedBurito - 16 hours
  |
  |Right in the corn hole


  |u/Real-Pomegranate-235 - 14 hours
  |
  |And you should never run through fields of wheat at all.


|u/abcohen916 - 17 hours
|
|Go to the Police Station


  |u/NLwino - 17 hours
  |
  |I kept telling them that, but they still dragged me to it during my
  |naked run.


    |u/WeinerVonBraun - 14 hours
    |
    |We’re all going streaking!  Everybody is doing it


    |u/TangoCharliePDX - 11 hours
    |
    |You do not live in Oregon.


  |u/BallsDeepMofo - 16 hours
  |
  |eh, depends on the situation


  |u/space_monster - 16 hours
  |
  |or testify in court.


  |u/Robert_Weaver - 14 hours
  |
  |That’s one way to get caught with your pants down


|u/MSnyper - 17 hours
|
|Weed wack


  |u/Spiritual-Term-766 - 15 hours
  |
  |what if you have a forest down there?


    |u/okbud44 - 12 hours
    |
    |Use an axe instead


      |u/concretepants - 9 hours
      |
      |And you have my bow


    |u/PreparedDeath - 14 hours
    |
    |You could try this weeks sponsor ‘Manscaped.com’


    |u/Sos_the_Rope - 8 hours
    |
    |That is bush wacking


  |u/martinisawe - 15 hours
  |
  |Atleast having eye protection is necessary


  |u/V-Lenin - 9 hours
  |
  |Shorts also don‘t help much


|u/Issue_Status - 17 hours
|
|Install that itchy insulation stuff ha ha


  |u/atreides78723 - 17 hours
  |
  |Fiberglass + nakedness = bad times.


    |u/According-Hat-5393 - 15 hours
    |
    |Sadly, one of the best cures for insulation is duct tape & a sharp
    |RIP! It's kind of like a full body "Brazilian"-- but it seems to
    |help with insulation, especially if you aren't (soon won't be) very
    |hairy.


      |u/atreides78723 - 15 hours
      |
      |I’m worked with guys who did duct work before.  They would sooner
      |scrub full body with Lava than do that…


        |u/oldtinman15 - 10 hours
        |
        |Worked in a duct shop years ago. Everyday, I had to clean up
        |the scraps of insulation. They had me rub corn starch on the
        |exposed skin so I wouldn't get itchy. Worked like a charm


  |u/rugernut13 - 11 hours
  |
  |Oooooh. STORY TIME! Few years ago we had a water damage issue in the
  |house we were renting, and I had contracted with the landlady to do
  |the repairs myself for some money off the rent. (Used to do it
  |professionally, and it was a minor issue, so NBD). Well, we had torn
  |out a wall, and torn out the wet insulation, and we were letting the
  |back of the sheathing dry, and had laid out the insulation with a fan
  |and a dehumidifier going, and it got late so we called it a night. I
  |got up at 2am to get a drink, (buckassnekkid) and tripped on my own
  |fucking hammer laying where I shouldn't have left it, and ended up
  |half Captain Kirk rolling half starfishing into a pile of damp pink
  |fiberglass insulation. I was itchy for days. In places that you don't
  |want to be itchy. My wife thought it was HILARIOUS.


  |u/DarthChefDad - 15 hours
  |
  |The forbidden cotton candy


  |u/Prudent_Ideal8414 - 10 hours
  |
  |Put a bar of soap in a nylon stocking and rub and wash yourself with
  |that. Years of hanging dense glass taught me that


  |u/Icy-Ad2278 - 16 hours
  |
  |I wiped me arse once at a hunting cabin drunk on moonshine


  |u/nytocarolina - 14 hours
  |
  |Meaning you can install non-itchy insulation?


  |u/OrganizationOk5418 - 12 hours
  |
  |I've done that top less.   How I miss the 80s.


|u/SageoftheForlornPath - 17 hours
|
|collect honey


  |u/na_batman - 16 hours
  |
  |Well, no one said stick your cock in it to collect the honey


    |u/RevRon_FUCK - 15 hours
    |
    |No, but the bees might think a hole in you looks like the perfect
    |place for a new home.  Then again, if a guy, it might help you
    |appear bigger... At least until the swelling goes down.


      |u/TechnoBabbles - 9 hours
      |
      |Built in Vibrator?


|u/Your_alowlife86 - 17 hours
|
|go to school


  |u/anormalgeek - 16 hours
  |
  |As a teacher.


    |u/spademanden - 16 hours
    |
    |As the principal


      |u/SocksOnHands - 15 hours
      |
      |As a middle aged man who has no kids but just shown up and
      |wandered the halls.


        |u/Shadowpika655 - 14 hours
        |
        |The janitor?


        |u/Snipeshot_Games - 13 hours
        |
        |with a gun /j


|u/jasonlitka - 17 hours
|
|An interview on Netflix.


  |u/Kirbyfan52 - 15 hours
  |
  |That's probably actually fine seeing as in lady gaga's documentary on
  |Netflix, she took her bikini top off halfway through


    |u/jasonlitka - 13 hours
    |
    |Not what I was referencing…
    |https://www.newsweek.com/sports/internet-goes-wild-after-netflix-
    |accidentally-shows-mike-tysons-bare-butt-1986800


      |u/Anglosaurus - 13 hours
      |
      |'accidentally'


        |u/jasonlitka - 13 hours
        |
        |Accidentally or not it was funny as hell.


  |u/bmwkid - 12 hours
  |
  |Mike Tyson would like a word


  |u/spectator_2_0 - 17 hours
  |
  |...go on


    |u/Johnnyrock199 - 11 hours
    |
    |Do NOT GO ON I REPEAT DO NOT GO ON!!


      |u/Crush-N-It - 4 hours
      |
      |Oh damn. What was said??? 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼


  |u/wineandcomplain - 16 hours
  |
  |Herding cats naked is fine though


  |u/tucvbif - 14 hours
  |
  |Bath cats


  |u/mrdan1969 - 13 hours
  |
  |I'm guessing you have a story...


  |u/moomeansmoo - 6 hours
  |
  |Growing up, my cat going out of the house once. Was missing for 3
  |days. Then ran home absolutely covered in bugs. His fur looks the
  |wrong color there were so many bugs.   My dad decided the way to fix
  |it quickest was to take cat into the shower and wash off the bugs. My
  |cat strongly disagreed. I’ve never heard a man scream so loud.


|u/Aard_Bewoner - 16 hours
|
|Climbing a monkey puzzle tree


  |u/Cool_Guy_Braydan - 13 hours
  |
  |happy cake day!


  |u/Various-Ducks - 16 hours
  |
  |Dont worry i was never going to do that


  |u/GeneralFuzuki7 - 15 hours
  |
  |I think doing that fully clothed isn’t a great idea


|u/Neon-Hades - 16 hours
|
|Go to a job interview


  |u/martinisawe - 15 hours
  |
  |But what if you're interviewing for becoming a pornstar


    |u/dragonfett - 7 hours
    |
    |Dress for the job you want!


      |u/mexicodoug - 6 hours
      |
      |So... nothing but heels if you're a lady and socks if you're a
      |dude. Got it.


|u/ScoobiSnacc - 17 hours
|
|As a nudist, I can answer this:   Cooking (hot water and grease fucking
|*hurts)*  Rock climbing (great way to get sensitive areas torn up)
|Hiking (going through dense foliage is painful, sweat also attracts
|mosquitoes)   Sitting on the ground or rocks (ever stepped on a
|sticker? Now imagine it’s your bare ass and junk. Rocks in the sun may
|as well be hotplates)  Horseback riding (you’ll learn what *real*
|chafing is)


  |u/IBJON - 16 hours
  |
  |Not to judge your lifestyle, but it almost seems like we wear clothes
  |for a reason... 


    |u/ScoobiSnacc - 16 hours
    |
    |Oh don’t worry, I get it. I may be a nudist, but I still recognize
    |clothing has a lot of advantages. But I’m not so fanatical that I
    |refuse to acknowledge them or utilize them. No way am I going naked
    |outside when it’s winter lol


      |u/Laserdollarz - 14 hours
      |
      |I lost my car keys at a nudist resort once. Turns out, pockets
      |are really cool. 


        |u/Heywoood_Jablome - 13 hours
        |
        |Should have given them to your girlfriend instead


        |u/ryadre1 - 12 hours
        |
        |But what about nature's pocket?


          |u/dragonfett - 7 hours
          |
          |You mean the ole prison pocket?


        |u/SlipperyPigHole - 11 hours
        |
        |That's what the prison pocket is for...


        |u/emilsco - 11 hours
        |
        |Prison Pocket bro, use your brain


      |u/example_615 - 16 hours
      |
      |so you go outside naked in summer? nice.


        |u/ScoobiSnacc - 16 hours
        |
        |Any time it isn’t freezing cold outside, pretty much


          |u/Bubbly_City_136 - 15 hours
          |
          |İsnt it illegal or something


            |u/ScoobiSnacc - 14 hours
            |
            |Depends on where you are


              |u/RoboshOfficial - 14 hours
              |
              |Where do you live. Need to move there


                |u/FknOvrIt - 14 hours
                |
                |There used to be a show on TLC called Buying Naked
                |where nudists were house hunting in nudist communities.
                |Turns out there’s quite the population of nudists in
                |Florida!


                  |u/Alexreads0627 - 14 hours
                  |
                  |if there was going to ever be a sizable gathering of
                  |nudists, it WOULD be Florida


            |u/MalcomSkullHead - 14 hours
            |
            |What’s going on with your i?


  |u/HowieLove - 16 hours
  |
  |I would love a AMA from a proper nudist.


    |u/ScoobiSnacc - 16 hours
    |
    |Huh, I’ve never done an AMA before. I might do that on my day off.


      |u/LedoPizzaEater - 14 hours
      |
      |Let’s get this AMA started! What do you do for work?


        |u/fmaz008 - 12 hours
        |
        |My bet is lava researcher.


  |u/darkbyrd - 16 hours
  |
  |As a nudist, I love naked hiking. I'll just be a bit more mindful
  |when I'm not on the trail


    |u/ScoobiSnacc - 16 hours
    |
    |Ah, that’s true. I suppose it’s subjective depending on where you
    |live. Nudists out where I live know better than to go off trail
    |cause we have a lot of arid brush, cactuses, thorns, stickers, and
    |poisonous plants. But even on the trail, those mosquitoes are a
    |pain lol


      |u/darkbyrd - 16 hours
      |
      |I'd agree if I lived in a desert. Living in a temperate
      |rainforest has it's advantages


        |u/ScoobiSnacc - 16 hours
        |
        |I suppose it does. The only advantage my climate offers is that
        |the water is always warm for swimming


  |u/ilikebunnies1 - 16 hours
  |
  |At this rate you should do an AMA about this.


    |u/ScoobiSnacc - 15 hours
    |
    |So I keep being told lol. I’ve got a few hours before work, so I
    |might just do that.


|u/mirzaeian - 17 hours
|
|For some reason cooking bacon is a very common answer. I wonder why? I
|want to hear ER stories on Saturday mornings....


  |u/Mythoclast - 17 hours
  |
  |Probably because a lot of people have cooked bacon and felt a bit of
  |spatter hit their exposed skin. Easy to imagine it spattering over
  |even more sensitive bits.


    |u/Fit-Somewhere-7350 - 15 hours
    |
    |Delicious


  |u/GielM - 17 hours
  |
  |Because it's something people actually do... Until they find out why
  |you shouldn't.  Nobody's gonna weld, babysit, talk to the poice,
  |naked. Not if they can help it.  But getting breakfast started whilst
  |still in whatever you slept in last night, which might be just undies
  |or nothing at all, doesn't sound unreasonable. Until you feel the
  |burn.  Source: Been there, done that, should've worn a Tshirt...


  |u/IBJON - 16 hours
  |
  |I have a scar below my navel from bacon grease splashing while I was
  |cooking breakfast shirtless. Had I not been wearing shorts, I
  |would've been cooking sausage as well 


  |u/DoktorKnope - 16 hours
  |
  |The ER stories are more Sunday afternoon stories - & most are not
  |that entertaining. Routine arm/belly burns (“I’ve never fried bacon
  |before!” “Then why do it naked?” ). The fun stories
  |are early Sunday mornings - “I, um, threw my back out doing pushups”
  |(at 2am? Well, that is a KIND of pushup); “I banged my head against,
  |um, a door” (then why is the knot on the back of your head?), and so
  |on. Bacon grease burns are typically 1st/2nd degree (well, except for
  |that one time the guy came up behind her to give her a “big hug”, his
  |arm hit the handle of the skillet and it flipped the grease - and
  |bacon - down her front. I’d say he never slept over again!).


    |u/etzel1200 - 15 hours
    |
    |Oh god that last anecdote.


    |u/Vegetable_Insect_966 - 12 hours
    |
    |oh my god


  |u/Poopingisasignipoop - 16 hours
  |
  |I mean, I wasn’t even hungry for bacon, but I was already naked, so…


|u/Weird_Yam6398 - 17 hours
|
|Arson


  |u/andreiim - 15 hours
  |
  |If you're doing it right, it won't be an issue. And if you're doing
  |it wrong, it won't make a difference whether you're wearing clothes.


  |u/SocksOnHands - 15 hours
  |
  |No, arson when you're clothed is perfectly ok. Hear that, judge?


  |u/Mon_Coeur_Monkey - 13 hours
  |
  |Also: Arse-on


  |u/ChingChongSticks - 10 hours
  |
  |Arson around naked


|u/Worldly_Event_1460 - 16 hours
|
|Meet your girls' parents.


  |u/RegularHovercraft - 14 hours
  |
  |I met my girlfriend's parents naked, both them and me and her.


    |u/captainrv - 12 hours
    |
    |There has to be a story. Please explain.


|u/Programmerofson - 17 hours
|
|Go to an elementary school


  |u/uisce_beatha1 - 15 hours
  |
  |Or a HS, junior high…


    |u/Double_Rutabaga878 - 14 hours
    |
    |Or college


      |u/TarkaDoSera - 13 hours
      |
      |Or preschool


    |u/hidakii_chan - 12 hours
    |
    |those horny teens would start jerking off if it was female


  |u/Stldjw - 10 hours
  |
  |Or a Chuck E. Cheese


|u/dasaigaijin - 17 hours
|
|Look in the mirror.


  |u/Karl-Levin - 14 hours
  |
  | "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me."


    |u/dasaigaijin - 10 hours
    |
    |Calm down Bill.


|u/n_mcrae_1982 - 17 hours
|
|Fire fighting.


|u/Fluca - 17 hours
|
|If Seinfeld taught me anything is to not use a sander naked…


  |u/JohnWallsBalls - 16 hours
  |
  |Or cough.


  |u/cleverdabber - 17 hours
  |
  |Or open a jar.


  |u/doctor6 - 16 hours
  |
  |Or pump up a bicycle wheel


  |u/the_real_eel - 17 hours
  |
  |lol. That’s not good naked.


  |u/yall_cray - 12 hours
  |
  |Naked crouching = bad


  |u/NilssonSchmilsson - 15 hours
  |
  |Ride a tractor. You can get gonorrhea much easier naked than with a
  |bathing suit on, riding a tractor.


  |u/No_Respond_2982 - 13 hours
  |
  |Or making dinner for guests


  |u/megs-benedict - 10 hours
  |
  |Yay I found my friends 👋  🥒🫙


  |u/I-seddit - 9 hours
  |
  |But a Bernie is ok.


|u/GoblinGob_ - 17 hours
|
|Picking up a penny on a busy street.


  |u/atreides78723 - 17 hours
  |
  |Not with *that* attitude.


  |u/95in3rd - 15 hours
  |
  |Or in prison.


  |u/SocksOnHands - 15 hours
  |
  |That all really depends... for ten percent of the population, I'll be
  |throwing lots of loose change.


|u/tryinandsurvivin - 17 hours
|
|Boxing


  |u/Lazy_Fortune8848 - 16 hours
  |
  |But if you didn’t want to fight. I mean. No one actually wants to
  |fight the naked guy.


  |u/SocksOnHands - 15 hours
  |
  |What is the "no hitting below the belt" rule if there is no belt?


|u/HumphreyGo-Kart - 17 hours
|
|Get undressed.


  |u/Redisno_ - 3 hours
  |
  |Wait, y’all don’t unzip your skin to let your muscles breathe a
  |little?!


  |u/julieleann28 - 10 hours
  |
  |This is the most underrated comment on this thread!


  |u/gregbones1999 - 9 hours
  |
  |I hope not buddy


|u/sendy_side - 14 hours
|
|Genuine answer? Clean with harsh chemicals. I like being naked at home.
|Decided the oven needed cleaning. Put rubber gloves on. Went to
|scrubbing. 1 very unfortunate, accidental,  spray of a stainless steel
|cleaner that I used to get from a guy who works in an industrial food
|processing facility, and I ended up with chemical burns on my taint.
|Which was very painful for a solid week.


  |u/djmathblaster - 10 hours
  |
  |That taint the way to get the job done.


    |u/Entitled_Goose - 8 hours
    |
    |Okay, the real question is how the hell did you get it on your ass


  |u/Entitled_Goose - 8 hours
  |
  |The real question is, how the hell did you get it on your ass


|u/martinis00 - 17 hours
|
|Lay down in a haystack


  |u/Suspicious-Hawk799 - 8 hours
  |
  |Because of the needle poking you right?


  |u/Only-One-7812 - 7 hours
  |
  |Imagine it’s a nice summer day you’re really tired and sweaty and you
  |fall asleep on the haystack. You wake up with ticks all over sticking
  |into back drawing blood, fleas crawling on you laying eggs, spiders
  |making webs in your hair having fun with the new terrain, the mice
  |biting you lucky for some food, the centipedes and millipedes
  |crawling around your ankles striking fear through your body as you
  |look up and see the towering bear.   Ha get nightmares


|u/throw123454321purple - 17 hours
|
|Run a table saw..


|u/WillieDFleming - 16 hours
|
|Go to church.


|u/GrouchyDress2018 - 15 hours
|
|Represent yourself in court


  |u/Mon_Coeur_Monkey - 13 hours
  |
  |Especially while being summoned for charges of public nudity


  |u/txnz - 17 hours
  |
  |Should only jump in with clothes on


    |u/Rogue_Aviator - 16 hours
    |
    |Lava proof clothes.


  |u/mirzaeian - 17 hours
  |
  |Technically you are right. But just technically


    |u/xhmmxtv - 17 hours
    |
    |The best kind of right


|u/BalancesHanging - 16 hours
|
|Drop a turkey in hot oil


  |u/Opposite_Cold_8035 - 11 hours
  |
  |“1st degree burns over 90% of his body and AAHHHH-“


  |u/I-seddit - 9 hours
  |
  |How else do I let it loose from my buttcheeks?


|u/Just-Lavishness895 - 17 hours
|
|frying up some food happened to a guy i knew…


|u/CertifiedForkliftSir - 15 hours
|
|Babysit


|u/Putrid-Effective-570 - 17 hours
|
|Pick up your kid from school


|u/OddContext9585 - 14 hours
|
|Squat infront of your teething puppy


|u/Celtic-Brit - 14 hours
|
|Answer the front door   Answer a work zoom meeting   Garden


  |u/pjchik79 - 12 hours
  |
  |Or do answer the door. It's a great deterrent for Jehovah's
  |Witnesses.


|u/TryGunHUN - 17 hours
|
|Picking up the soap


  |u/jthalma1 - 17 hours
  |
  |So I’m supposed to keep multiple bars of soap in the shower?


    |u/andreiim - 15 hours
    |
    |At this point, some may think you like dropping the soap.  You're
    |just supposed to not drop it, not drop ituntil you're out of soap
    |bars


|u/crimsontide5654 - 15 hours
|
|Bee keeper


|u/Damseldoll - 17 hours
|
|Trick or treat


  |u/GamerSam - 16 hours
  |
  |Good point, can't even get a good outfit, don't deserve candy


|u/Elder_Millenial_Sage - 17 hours
|
|Fight dogs or other teethy predators.


  |u/stands_on_big_rocks - 16 hours
  |
  |I had to fight off two dogs while fully clothed and tbh, i don’t
  |think the clothes helped all that much. And bear attack survivors
  |never dote about their patagonia puffy saving their life.   So that’s
  |that. Fight animals naked. 


|u/TheSoupOfToday - 17 hours
|
|Visit the neighborhood playground.


|u/hawtbotjazz - 17 hours
|
|Cooking


|u/HistorysWitness - 17 hours
|
|Cook bacon 


|u/Graehaus - 16 hours
|
|Fry bacon or pan fry.


|u/taykaybo - 17 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/kankerg - 16 hours
|
|Jumping off a 300ft building


|u/CompetitiveAd7919 - 17 hours
|
|pick up your kids from school


|u/JadedBrit - 16 hours
|
|Go shopping.


|u/roses_scent - 16 hours
|
|Strip tease


|u/AshvstheWalkingDead - 16 hours
|
|Go outside and make a snow angel. That would be very cold.


|u/Short-Sighted_Dave - 15 hours
|
|Step on a land mine


|u/ksaarthak - 15 hours
|
|Being a Mall Santa


|u/LedZebulon - 14 hours
|
|Fry bacon.


|u/The-Anti-Nationalist - 17 hours
|
|Climb up Mount Everest 


|u/BigWolf2051 - 17 hours
|
|Bacon


|u/Mission-Can-1647 - 17 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/imadork1970 - 17 hours
|
|Skydive


|u/Xtobias83X - 16 hours
|
|Cook Bacon


|u/Agile_Usual608 - 16 hours
|
|fry bacon


  |u/Forsaken-Form7221 - 16 hours
  |
  |I came here to say this!


|u/SuperKetchupDude - 16 hours
|
|Knife juggling


|u/trainspotter390 - 14 hours
|
|I’m not an expert, but don’t sit on a cactus


|u/Aggressive-Quiet-226 - 14 hours
|
|Teach elementary school.


|u/AlabasterPuffin - 12 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/Dmnc_Ktn666 - 7 hours
|
|Run outside


|u/Front-Hovercraft-721 - 6 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/rb78 - 6 hours
|
|Make bacon


|u/jerrycoles1 - 4 hours
|
|Play with kids


|u/BlackIceCake - 17 hours
|
|Attempt to deep-fry anything unless you want a physics lesson in pain.


|u/raspberry_en_anglais - 17 hours
|
|Operate a bandsaw


|u/Long-Trade-9164 - 17 hours
|
|Climbing into an all leather interior car in the middle of summer in
|Phoenix.


|u/charmingvixenxx - 17 hours
|
|Cook bacon. Seriously... just dont.


|u/aesthetic_kiara - 17 hours
|
|visit a grocery store


|u/Legitimate_Skill7383 - 16 hours
|
|Why're most of these about bacon 💀


|u/DruidicBoogaloo - 17 hours
|
|I'd say participate in a boogaloo. But I kinda wanna be that guy.
|Naked, tac vest, flip flops, pink and yellow rifle.


|u/bluesmcscrooge - 17 hours
|
|Buck a log


|u/TwoToesToni - 17 hours
|
|Firefighting


|u/smurg112 - 17 hours
|
|Make a nice fry


|u/Deathblades0 - 17 hours
|
|Bee keeping


|u/CandidCosplayLover - 16 hours
|
|Deep fry food.


|u/Etheygum - 16 hours
|
|Take a walk, specifically to the police station.


|u/Captain_Tooth - 16 hours
|
|Frying up bacon.


|u/WyldStalynz - 16 hours
|
|Open a jar of pickles in front of someone


|u/zed2point0 - 16 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/godmademelikethis - 16 hours
|
|Fry steak


|u/DozerLVL - 16 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/Avantreesucks - 16 hours
|
|Fry bacon.


|u/gigglyGonzalez - 16 hours
|
|Go to a park


|u/realdealkil85 - 16 hours
|
|Cook Bacon on the stove


|u/whitebreadtaco - 16 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/kenmohler - 16 hours
|
|Cook bacon.


|u/Verafine - 16 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/TT_________ - 16 hours
|
|Brush your teeth and then get tooth paste on yourself


|u/sonic192 - 16 hours
|
|Beekeeping


|u/ziration - 16 hours
|
|chop firewood, or anything chainsaw related.


|u/homechicken20 - 16 hours
|
|Daycare


|u/Mobilelurk - 16 hours
|
|Open a jar of pickles.


|u/forgets_it - 16 hours
|
|Run thru a sandstorm


|u/R3TRO_131 - 16 hours
|
|Job interview.


|u/Round_Definition_809 - 16 hours
|
|Cook with oil. I made potstickers and the oil kept popping on my
|titties. It must like me jk lol


|u/Long-Grab-843 - 16 hours
|
|Wrestling


|u/marky_mark301 - 16 hours
|
|Visit a daycare


|u/Aggravating-Tale605 - 15 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/Dragonwork - 15 hours
|
|cook. especially bacon


|u/danapca - 15 hours
|
|Fry food


|u/simpletonius - 15 hours
|
|Fry bacon.


|u/Astrohurricane1 - 15 hours
|
|Attend a meeting with HR


|u/jmeshvrd - 15 hours
|
|Go to court


|u/LokiHubris - 15 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/TheElvisMan - 15 hours
|
|Cook with grease, walk the dog, go grocery shopping


|u/FBG-123 - 15 hours
|
|Cook bacon.


|u/EatPreyLive - 15 hours
|
|Open pickle jars


|u/bungle_bogs - 15 hours
|
|Walk in front of a window as your teen kids and their mates are walking
|up the driveway.


|u/Arks-Angel - 15 hours
|
|Any form of customer service work


|u/UltratagPro - 15 hours
|
|Undress...


|u/Fantastic-Ant-4429 - 15 hours
|
|Fry food.


|u/ami2weird4u - 15 hours
|
|Conduct an orchestra.


|u/High_velocity93 - 15 hours
|
|Going to a job interview


|u/truthm0de - 15 hours
|
|Cook a bunch of bacon


|u/Anarcho-Chris - 15 hours
|
|Discuss divorce. Trust me. Awkward


|u/Chrisgone - 15 hours
|
|Parent teacher conference


|u/REUBG58 - 15 hours
|
|Be a Dept Store Santa


|u/jcmbn - 14 hours
|
|Leapfrog.


|u/macfat - 14 hours
|
|Pick up kids from school.


|u/Capt1an_Cl0ck - 14 hours
|
|Open a jar of pickles


|u/The_Seven777 - 14 hours
|
|Public speaking omg, as if the pressure isn't already bad enough


|u/ElderberryPoet - 14 hours
|
|Bury a loved one.


|u/dalekaup - 14 hours
|
|Skydive. 99% chance you die.


|u/1977420 - 14 hours
|
|Walk in to the police station and ask for directions


|u/WarriorJax - 14 hours
|
|Roofing or plumbing.


|u/JBOYCE35239 - 14 hours
|
|Arguing with the police. Even if you're right, you're still gonna look
|like a lunatic


|u/milny_gunn - 14 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/SnooJokes9174 - 14 hours
|
|Go to Office


|u/ResponsibilityOne484 - 14 hours
|
|Visit my house


|u/Gimmemyspoon - 14 hours
|
|Cook.


|u/Da-Trumpster - 14 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/TheDanielCF - 14 hours
|
|Operate a lathe.


|u/gman1951 - 14 hours
|
|Beekeeper.


|u/RegularHovercraft - 14 hours
|
|Ride a porcupine.


|u/Louumb - 14 hours
|
|Frying bacon


|u/joeydbls - 14 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/Svyeda - 14 hours
|
|Fry chicken


|u/Safe-Stretch8150 - 14 hours
|
|Sex


|u/shieldagentoz - 14 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/Ok_Solution_1282 - 14 hours
|
|Dry hump...


|u/pdunson57 - 14 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/OrangeBug74 - 14 hours
|
|Feed an alligator.


|u/_CMDR_ - 14 hours
|
|Deep frying.


|u/RandyTheFool - 14 hours
|
|Be clothed.


|u/Jive-Machine - 14 hours
|
|Moderate a spelling bee.


|u/The_Xicht - 14 hours
|
|Idk how to say it in english, but dont shake out your laundry when
|naked. I once whipped my dick with the zip of a vest like that. Top 3
|pains of my life.


|u/olds442DW - 14 hours
|
|Frying bacon!!!


|u/Special-Border-1810 - 14 hours
|
|Snow Ski, BBQ, Brown meat, yard work


|u/Throwaway77513 - 13 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/idiotsbydesign - 13 hours
|
|Cook


|u/ERCOT_Prdatry_victum - 13 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/rfcrm - 13 hours
|
|Fry cook


|u/Clear-Penalty339 - 13 hours
|
|Play leap frog with a unicorn


|u/Ok-War-2570 - 13 hours
|
|Cook bacon 100%, cooked with no shirt on when I was 13-14 years old lol
|can't imagine doing it naked .


|u/lefty1207 - 13 hours
|
|Deep fry a turkey


|u/Independent_Ad5480 - 13 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/ScaryAssBitch - 13 hours
|
|Fry food


|u/ubermartimus - 13 hours
|
|Go to work?


|u/Kajill - 13 hours
|
|Undress


|u/CtrlPwnDelete - 13 hours
|
|ITT a bunch of people that don't know how to cook lol


|u/therealmrsfahrenheit - 13 hours
|
|The majority of things. There is a reason we lost all our fur because
|we started wearing clothes.. so please.


|u/Sickness69 - 13 hours
|
|Cooking, especially with hot grease.


|u/unsuspectedtraveler - 13 hours
|
|go to work


|u/Switchlord518 - 13 hours
|
|Cook.. especially deep frying and grilling!


|u/InLoveWithTheMoon - 12 hours
|
|Cook with grease


|u/Holy_juggerknight - 12 hours
|
|Take a job interview


|u/r1niceboy - 12 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/ChrisMossTime - 12 hours
|
|Beekeeping


|u/No_Lab_9318 - 12 hours
|
|Drinking coffee


|u/Emotional_Lawyer_278 - 12 hours
|
|Weld


|u/Hairy_Ad4969 - 12 hours
|
|Climb the large multi-tiered fountain on the koenigstrasse in
|Stuttgart, Germany with three equally-inebriated friends who have also
|stripped completely naked. Apparently, the locals frown upon this even
|at 3AM, and I’ve also heard that at the top, you can see the Polezei
|racing towards that same fountain down three multi-lane thoroughfares
|which rumor has it, can be intimidating whilst wet and naked. Or so
|I’ve heard.


|u/rooster6662 - 12 hours
|
|Cook bacon.


|u/Theyearwas1985 - 12 hours
|
|Yoga


|u/iAmDrakesEyebrows - 12 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/TrashPanda365 - 12 hours
|
|Fry bacon in a skillet. *spoiler alert, I've done it*


|u/Radiatethe88 - 12 hours
|
|Slide down a bannister.


|u/Wizzamadoo - 12 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/anarchangalien - 12 hours
|
|Cooking bacon


|u/Maximum-Quiet-9380 - 12 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/z900_DragonRider222 - 11 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/iBornCR - 11 hours
|
|Anything that involves fire, hot oil or boiling water


|u/Thisiscliff - 11 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/No-Blood-5148 - 11 hours
|
|Fry bacon or anything with a fryer involved.


|u/griefrapids - 11 hours
|
|Cooking bacon naked is a bad time.


|u/Justthefacts6969 - 10 hours
|
|Fry bacon 🥓


|u/deathholdme - 10 hours
|
|Shit - it just feels wrong.


|u/AdventuresOfAndy - 10 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/Brian18639 - 10 hours
|
|Frying food


|u/SirRipOliver - 10 hours
|
|Warm up to fight Jake Paul, Theriously.


|u/campking8966 - 10 hours
|
|Go trick or treating , never ends well lol


|u/Dry_Mention_3084 - 10 hours
|
|Pick ur kid up from daycare


|u/raysqman - 10 hours
|
|Apparently climb over a cucumber garden, because I hear this is a not
|infrequent explanation in ERs.


|u/inthep - 10 hours
|
|Skydive…. Clouds suck.


|u/Optimal_Count_4333 - 10 hours
|
|Cook bacon on the stove


|u/Nectarine-Pure - 9 hours
|
|Strip


|u/Visual_Midnight9544 - 8 hours
|
|Bathe


|u/sheriffchunch - 7 hours
|
|Fuck your wife's sister


|u/pdxrider01 - 7 hours
|
|Deep fry food


|u/Enough-Construction5 - 7 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/United-Employer-9704 - 7 hours
|
|Fry bacon!


|u/justk4y - 7 hours
|
|Play mall Santa


|u/HadesWoof - 7 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/slaytician - 7 hours
|
|Mow the lawn. The neighbor at my old job used to do it.


|u/e2j0m4o2 - 7 hours
|
|Make bacon


|u/Head_Reaction_6615 - 7 hours
|
|Frying bacon always requires proper coverage.


|u/AwetPinkThinG - 7 hours
|
|Deep frying.


|u/I_Forgot_It_ - 7 hours
|
|Teaching. It distracts the students


|u/LifeguardSimilar4067 - 6 hours
|
|Cook bacon.


|u/Lexdogo - 6 hours
|
|Bacon  🥓


|u/aDingDangDoo_Doo - 6 hours
|
|Fry any type of food in a skillet.


|u/JustDoIt0990 - 6 hours
|
|Iron


|u/13durt - 6 hours
|
|Bacon!


|u/MrsKebabs - 5 hours
|
|Welding


|u/AJDRDG39 - 4 hours
|
|Frying an egg  I didn’t do it naked but I had no top on and fried an
|egg for a friend He told me to use his left over bacon grease.  I had
|the heat too high I guess. It hurt. It hurt bad.


|u/SecretAgentOf - 4 hours
|
|Sleep.   If someone breaks into your house.  If there’s a fire.  If you
|have kids.  If there’s a natural disaster.


|u/Interesting2u - 4 hours
|
|Cooking fatty foods on the stove top.


|u/HoiPolloi2023 - 3 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/No_Sandwich_9414 - 3 hours
|
|Hi five your son


|u/ErikVonDarkmoor - 3 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/FantasyExploerer995 - 3 hours
|
|Marathon running 🏃‍♀️


|u/lyfisabeech - 3 hours
|
|fry bacon


|u/doctordaedalus - 3 hours
|
|Vote


|u/Tricky-Swimming-3967 - 3 hours
|
|Fry bacon


|u/madmaxandrade - 3 hours
|
|Frying eggs.


|u/katalyticglass - 3 hours
|
|Cook bacon


|u/PalmSunday1953 - 3 hours
|
|Fry bacon.


|u/lovai01 - 3 hours
|
|Cooking bacon 🥓


|u/Mr_Lumbergh - 3 hours
|
|Cook bacon.


|u/Zaithon - 2 hours
|
|Undressing.


|u/No_Lemon4567 - 2 hours
|
|Visit a school 🚔👮‍♂️


|u/beatnikstrictr - 2 hours
|
|Cook a fry up.