|
AIO? I yanked the sheet off my fiancé and left the room after he elbowed
me for yawning.
So my fiancé hates when I yawn, I am not sure why. Every time I yawn,
he either nudges me lightly and groans or verbally exclaims out loud
negatively. He's told me not to yawn, that it's not "lady like" and is
lazy sounding and rude. This really annoys me because I yawn naturally
and don't feel like it's something I can help. This morning, we
were still in bed sleeping, I was half awake, facing away from him, and
I yawned. He then nudged me twice with his elbow, as a reaction to my
yawning. It was right on my spine, and it really hurt! It fully woke
me up, and I became super annoyed. I shot up out of bed and said
"that actually really hurt, you're a dick." and yanked the sheet off him
and left the room, dropping the sheet on the floor on my way out so he'd
have to get up to retrieve it. It's about 3 hours later now, he's up,
and we haven't said a word to each other, we're kind of ignoring one
another. Was I overreacting? I'd love some insights into this
situation... And no, he's never hit me, yelled at me, nor is he
physically or verbally abusive. This was a nudge, and he had a sleeping
mask on, so couldn't see where he was nudging. Keep in mind I'm roughly
100lbs smaller than him, he's like 6'5" and pure muscle, I don't think
he realizes his strength.
########################################################################
|u/firemeup18 - 17 hours
|
|My God, what does he do when you have to do a number 2? Women are not
|lady like if they yawn? Heard it all now.
|u/gun_grrrl - 12 hours
|
|I have a secret. *We fart too!*
|u/Ducere_Benigne - 6 hours
|
|Damnit Janet, why are these sheets so warm! It ain’t laundry
|day!?!?
|u/bad2behere - 5 hours
|
|It isn't the sheets that are warm, Curtis. It's the 💩 that's
|warm.
|u/unicornhair1991 - 1 hour
|
|My BF loves when I fart. He laughs and tells me what it sounded
|like. Last one was "a frog laughing" 😂 Last valentines I got him a
|card that said "our love language is farts" We're 33 and 38 and
|just big children tbh 😂😂
|u/Tricky-Swimming-3967 - 1 hour
|
|Farts are funny no matter the age. I had gall bladder removed
|then got sick with something different, lost a ton of weight and
|honestly can not remember the last time I ripped a good fart.
|Ya dont miss it till it’s gone kinda thing.
|u/Hot_Flan1220 - 57 minutes
|
|If anyone seems embarrassed when they let one rip around me, I
|put on my Olympics Announcer voices and rate it; "And that's
|another good effort from Name Redacted, but I'm sure the judges
|are going to penalise for brevity.""Yes Chad, impressive volume
|and a nice variance in tone, but just far too short to be a
|contender for top spot in today's competition." By the time I'm
|done they're either laughing or more embarrassed for me than
|themselves, so it's a win all round.
|u/Outrageous_Fee_423 - 4 hours
|
|😍
|u/CrazeeLilDevil - 49 minutes
|
|AND BURP!! Good god I can clear a whole ass pub out due to my
|burps, my partner is incredibly proud of that too🤣 In the pub goers
|defence, I'm a 5'4/5'5 female, skinny, nothing to me really but can
|out burp a pub full of men with belly's full of beer, so yeah I'd
|probably leave too! Now THAT is an achievement!
|u/Karamist623 - 31 minutes
|
|And pee apparently. The only time my husband saw me sitting on
|the toilet to pee, I thought he would gouge his eyes out. OMG. I
|never laughed so hard in my life. The epic windmilling of his
|arms, and squinting of his eyes was pure perfection.
|u/Heidera - 15 hours
|
|I just yawned after reading about yawning. Guess this makes me not a
|lady! But seriously, people yawn. I could not imagine my partner
|hitting me for yawning. I don't care if it's just a "nudge." He's
|consistently hitting her for yawning.
|u/Luciferbelle - 8 hours
|
|The amount of times I yawn in a day would really send this man into
|a mental hospital
|u/traumabond629 - 7 hours
|
|He definitely doesn’t want to go to a mental hospital. We yawned
|a lot there. Source: Have been patient in mental hospital
|u/niki2184 - 2 hours
|
|Me too!! Especially when I can’t breathe! It’s constant yawn
|after yawn. But if I was around him I’d yawn all the time.
|u/Bella_LaGhostly - 12 hours
|
|You're right. It's nonconsensual, agressive touching, and it's
|meant to elicit a negative response. If a stranger did this, it'd
|be more obvious to people how messed up his actions were. If it
|could be considered assault against a stranger, it could also be
|assult from someone you know - it's just sometimes much harder to
|label it "assault". 😔 *Edited because I wasn't paying attention
|when I was typing, but some other helpful people were. Thanks!
|u/Blueyezgirl_68 - 9 hours
|
|I do believe “Nonconsensual” is the word you were looking for
|there.
|u/pilikia5 - 8 hours
|
|And “elicit”
|u/Iluvmntsncatz - 8 hours
|
|Sometimes I enjoy the word police, lol. It’s educational 😊
|u/Bella_LaGhostly - 6 hours
|
|You're right too!
|u/neveradullperson - 4 hours
|
|I like ur name
|u/Bella_LaGhostly - 6 hours
|
|You're right!
|u/ImaDumbB1tch24 - 6 hours
|
|It took me a few seconds to realize it was meant to be
|"consensual"- I thought it was a word I just didn't know for a
|minute. I was about to Dictionary.com that bitch.
|u/Bella_LaGhostly - 6 hours
|
|Nope, just not paying attention & my version fell through the
|cracks of auto-correct. 😆
|u/xoRomaCheena31 - 13 hours
|
|I just yawned, too. It’s really good for you.
|u/donbee28 - 9 hours
|
|Just know that some D’Bag is going to consider you not-lady like.
|>!Bullet Dodged!<
|u/BobBelchersBuns - 7 hours
|
|I also yawned. And again, just now, writing about yawning.
|u/Beautiful_Ninja_6306 - 12 hours
|
|Me too 😂
|u/Objective-Brother712 - 6 hours
|
|New bottom surgery just dropped
|u/Single_Virgo_of_1978 - 2 hours
|
|I made a discovery that contagious yawning isn’t just a human
|thing. I got stuck in a yawning loop with my two cats. We’re all
|female, I guess we aren’t ladies either.
|u/mortyella - 14 hours
|
|What are you even talking about? Everyone knows that girls don't
|poop! /s
|u/L3m0n0p0ly - 12 hours
|
|Nope! We keep it inside until eventually it becomes a shit baby,
|and grows up to be ops STB Ex:)
|u/Themightytiny07 - 10 hours
|
|This made me laugh and remember a joke my husband made saying he
|didn't believe I pooped cause it doesn't take me 20-30 minutes in
|the bathroom lol
|u/Specialist_Victory_5 - 9 hours
|
|I think he needs to start eating some fruit and vegetables.
|u/cityshepherd - 7 hours
|
|Nah he’s just finished in 5 minutes and spends the next 25
|minutes browsing Reddit
|u/CatchSufficient - 10 hours
|
|Agreed, it's not lady like to have buttholes
|u/neenmach - 9 hours
|
|Unless the men want to use them. 🤪
|u/BodhisattvaAzu - 9 hours
|
|Shots fired lmfao … or sharts fired?
|u/callingshotgun - 10 hours
|
|Of course not, their bodies use a complex chemical process to
|transform the waste materials into makeup that gets secreted
|through special glands to the surface of their skin. That's why
|it's both true that "needing time to put on makeup" is a lie, and
|there's no actual excuse for not having a full face on 24/7. Also
|why women should eat really complicated salads for at least one
|meal a day, need the appropriate range of colors for their face.
|(I hope obviously, also /s )
|u/suggie75 - 5 hours
|
|Sure we do. Cupcakes and fairy dust.
|u/throwaway_t6788 - 11 hours
|
|or fart
|u/bigfatkitty2006 - 7 hours
|
|Wait til he finds out she farts...
|u/CoffeeChocolateBoth - 7 hours
|
|Nor do we pass gas. :)
|u/hanks_panky_emporium - 2 hours
|
|girls don't poop or fart, they just explode when they hit 40
|u/callingshotgun - 11 hours
|
|Was wondering the same thing. Does he understand all the orifices a
|woman has and what they're for? Is he gonna tell their future baby
|not to cry because it's rude and not "babylike" ?
|u/tikisummer - 9 hours
|
|One huge flag, hit for yawning, wait until he shows you what else he
|does not like.
|u/AgentFreckles - 11 hours
|
|I had a former manager once tell me to stop yawning so much, it's
|unprofessional, and even asked me if I was getting enough sleep. I
|should've said no, I'm a student and I have two jobs, obviously I'm
|not getting any sleep.
|u/Rosanna44 - 7 hours
|
|Ladylike? Neither is a bl0wjob, but I bet he doesn’t complain about
|that!!
|u/tulipz10 - 7 hours
|
|Hitting a woman isn't gentlemanly. So he can go suck a D.
|u/SnowWhiteCampCat - 2 hours
|
|How do these men not only acquire a girlfriend, but convince her to
|marry him? The first time a guy says that lady like shit to me, after
|I stop laughing, I'm out.
|u/firemeup18 - 2 hours
|
|I’m really not sure. I would be out the door also. Perhaps no
|strong role models in their lives? Or, most likely, it doesn’t
|start that way.
|u/AggravatingTicket520 - 8 hours
|
|I had a friend whose boyfriend said it wasn’t ladylike to need to
|pee. She’d hold it in during the many many hours they’d hang out
|together.
|u/acorbeaux - 6 hours
|
|O m f g. Please tell me they are broken up?!?! This is insanity…
|Good god I bet he complained, too, when she could barely ever have
|s3x because she had too many freakin UTIs from holding in her pee
|all the time! Tf is wrong with people?? lol i mean… i feel honest
|to g lucky that I’ve never been with a man-child that cannot handle
|bodily functions!! Esp. peeing like WTAF?! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
|u/AggravatingTicket520 - 5 hours
|
|yeah LMFAO they broke up after like 6 months but he was crazy
|u/soonerpgh - 8 hours
|
|Yawning is a natural response just like going to the bathroom. Does
|his stupid ass yawn? Probably, but because he's a man, I guess it's
|fine. These dudes have got to stop it with this horse shit!
|u/StrugglinSurvivor - 7 hours
|
|This old woman is going to ask what he says about a bj because that's
|not lady like either. 🤷🏼♀️
|u/dancingkelsey - 6 hours
|
|Jesús yeah, my abusive ex would glare and make comments or roll his
|eyes if I burped but he farted constantly and on/near me and acted
|like I was attacking him if I made a stink face or said anything
|about not wanting him to do that to me. Some weird fuckin misogyny
|plus callous disregard for op's literal humanity
|u/AngryPrincessWarrior - 2 hours
|
|I need to hijack the top comment and leave this here; (reference to
|“Why Does He Do That”) I looked at OP’s profile history. They
|haven’t even known this person, (if it’s the Bumble guy) for 6
|months. So they don’t even know this person yet. If you ever
|wondered why people say abusers seem to act out of a textbook-well
|there you go. I went ahead and just copied the damned list from the
|book and bolded what I have noticed in just this one post. One of
|the things mentioned in that list of signs of an abusive partner is
|moving too fast. They’re engaged. Op posted **152 days ago** about
|connecting for the first time on Bumble. That’s about 5 months.
|Here’s the list; HOW CAN I TELL IF A MAN I’M SEEING WILL BECOME
|ABUSIVE? 1. He speaks disrespectfully about his former partners.
|(Bet he has crazy ex’s… and he never did anything wrong) 2. **He is
|disrespectful toward you**. 3. He does favors for you that you don’t
|want or puts on such a show of generosity that it makes you
|uncomfortable. 4. **He is controlling.** trying to tell home girl
|how to breathe. 5. He is possessive. (Bet this applies) 6.
|**Nothing is ever his fault.** 7. **He is self-centered.** 8. He
|abuses drugs or alcohol. 9. He pressures you for sex.<—- while not
|mentioned-I’ll bet real money this has already happened. If someone
|says no and he pushes at all beyond that-that is pressure for sex.
|#10. DING DING DING **He gets serious too quickly about the
|relationship.**. He is dropping the mask in under half a year. Of
|course he’s locking you down as quickly as possible. If it’s right,
|no need to rush. 11. **He intimidates you when he’s angry.** 12.
|He has double standards. 13. **He has negative attitudes toward
|women.**. “Ladylike”. Just gonna leave that there. Because it’s
|gentlemanly to intentionally dig your elbow into your partners spine,
|amiright?! 14. *He treats you differently around other people.*. Bet
|ya he does this too. 15. He appears to be attracted to
|vulnerability. Spoiler alert; I don’t think Op realizes that
|verbal abuse doesn’t need to be yelling or name calling. Nor do I
|think they understand that the elbow to the spine WAS physical abuse.
|Op. This is exactly why and how women get trapped in relationships
|where it seems obvious to everyone else she should leave. You’re
|already rationalizing this minor physical assault away. Do you
|think the women who have bruises or broken bones from their partner
|started out getting hurt to that degree? No. It starts with a cold
|tone of voice or something small like a pinch or a shove. The victim
|rationalizes it away and they shove a little harder next time.
|Sort of like how he has progressed from “light nudges” to now
|inflicting pain on you. See how it already has ramped up? AND he’s
|criticizing a normal human function you cannot control? This is
|the beginning of a BAD road if you stay. It’s only a matter of time
|before he actually hits you. Yeah I’m tagging you twice u/Any-
|Effective2565 You need to see the situation broken down like this.
|u/firemeup18 - 2 hours
|
|OP needs to see your post and act. No more truthful words have
|been said.
|u/AngryPrincessWarrior - 2 hours
|
|I went through this with a different kind of abuser. It started
|with holding me in his lap “playfully” when I wanted up. To
|digging into my legs and arms leaving bruises. To slapping me
|across the face a few times. But he was always “sorry” and just
|“his emotions got away from him”. He also put holes in walls
|and broke things. Always my things. The absolute worst-at one
|point he had a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. I didn’t
|know it was empty. Not 100% sure he did either honestly. He
|complimented me on how calm I was. And laughed like it was a
|joke. The truth is I froze. It took 18 months to delicately get
|out. I had to convince him it was his idea. He is on the
|violent sexual offender registry now. No need to be sorry for
|me though. I got out. My husband today is WONDERFUL and we have
|an honest to god healthy relationship. We have never even called
|each other names in anger or yelled in anger at each other. Oh-we
|sometimes need to walk away and calm down before we have our
|argument/discussion. But the goal is always to work it out not to
|work against each other. The difference is blinding.
|u/Lurking_princess1 - 2 hours
|
|This was my exact thoughts while reading this.. I was like what’s he
|like when she has to poop and fart. 😳 I couldn’t imagine a life where
|where my partner thought normal, natural bodily functions were “not
|lady like”. If we can’t rip it in bed together I don’t want it. 😂
|u/BusMaleficent6197 - 9 hours
|
|I would have said this too. Before I met the world’s loudest yawner—
|my old assistant. She absolutely played it up, did the ah ah sounds
|after etc etc. There’s a polite way to yawn and a rude way. Gonna
|need to see how op is doing it first. But no, partner should not
|ever elbow you. Yikes
|u/badskinjob - 7 hours
|
|Girls poop?
|u/Breadcrumbsforsnakes - 7 hours
|
|Women don't poop
|u/ShefBoiRDe - 5 hours
|
|I hate how un-lady-like it is when women.. *checks notes* ..Yawn.
|u/MJisANON - 1 hour
|
|Yeah I’d love to hear the logic behind this. Oh wait…
|u/Britt_Bee9293 - 17 hours
|
|NOR. Your fiance sounds like a dick, I’m sorry. Yawning isn’t “lady
|like” and is “lazy sounding and rude”!?! I’ve never heard that before.
|It’s not like you’re doing some exaggerated bit to make it seem like
|you’re bored or something. You’re just having a natural body function.
|I probably don’t even notice when I yawn; most people don’t. And for
|him to elbow you simply because you yawned is incredibly NOT ok. Like
|this would be a deal breaker for me, do you really want to spend the
|rest of your life walking on eggshells about yawning??
|u/Petty_Paw_Printz - 16 hours
|
|Yeah the whole "ladylike" comment is super infantilizing too. Its not
|his or any other persons job to "reign you in" and police your
|behaviors to some imaginative social standard. I think your partner
|has serious control issues and these behaviors are just the tip of
|the iceberg.
|u/bnny_ears - 16 hours
|
|>Its not his or any other persons job to "reign you in" and police
|your behaviors to some imaginative social standard. You know it's
|true love when your partner tries to parent you like an ill
|mannered teenager <3 /s
|u/Creative-Fan-7599 - 11 hours
|
|I *have* an occasionally ill mannered teenager and wouldn’t treat
|them like that. Dude has issues with that level of micromanaging
|u/briannimal88 - 13 hours
|
|This. It’s not “Lady like” to fucking yawn? Gtfo. He’s got
|controlling thoughts and id bet it’s about more than your yawning.
|Also, he absolutely knows his own strength. Those elbows were meant
|to hurt you.
|u/Traditional_Fan_2655 - 12 hours
|
|Does this Nan understand it is a normal bodily function? You
|really want to marry someone who reacts to physical punishment
|brvaise he thinks you aren't being ladylike? Why?
|u/CocoSoFlow - 11 hours
|
|Lol yeah wtf. Not “lady like?” Well I’m..like..a lady..and I have
|to fuckin yawn sometimes. So what now?
|u/CoffeeChocolateBoth - 7 hours
|
|YEP! And that OP is called abuse! Wake up!
|u/theSpectralVoid - 10 hours
|
|this! no dude that tall who is "all muscle" ie works out is
|UNAWARE of his own strength. he probably keeps stats, as most
|people who work out track their strength and progress...
|u/No-Agent-1611 - 6 hours
|
|I just started martial arts training. I’m short, old, fat, and
|female. The young high ranked instructors are scared to death of
|me bc they know how much they can hurt me if they slip. I don’t
|believe there are any males over the age of 18 or so who don’t
|know how much stronger they are than a woman the same height as
|them, let alone a smaller woman. He is physically abusing you
|and it will only get worse. Leave now.
|u/jesterinancientcourt - 3 hours
|
|I’m thinking this is just him being controlling. Pure and simple.
|Because I’ve never even heard of this. I had etiquette lessons
|too. I was told people are supposed to cover their mouths when
|yawning. But who can control their yawning, it just happens.
|u/Professional_Ruin953 - 13 hours
|
|Anyone who tells you that a natural human function is “not
|ladylike” can take a long walk off a short pier. Oh, mr misogyny
|is allowed to yawn but his girlfriend isn’t because it’s “not
|ladylike” In the meantime, he’s elbowing her for yawning?! No. No
|romantic partner physically attacks to exhibit his displeasure over
|anything, no matter how mildly the attack. He won’t remain my
|partner after doing that.
|u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme - 13 hours
|
|Does he ever scratch his balls in front of her? I feel like that
|would be easier to stifle than a yawn. Considering yawns are
|“contagious” across species, we have less control over it than
|this asshole realizes. Also, why is OP marrying this guy if
|he’s upset by something so minor? What weird expectations is he
|going to impose on their kids?
|u/snow_gnome - 8 hours
|
|She should tell him scratching his balls isn't manly and say
|it's rude and lazy.
|u/Umm_is_this_thing_on - 14 hours
|
|I wonder if she is allowed to poop, fart, or must she control her
|period…
|u/twosteppsatatime - 13 hours
|
|If anything is a ladylike bodily function out of these it must be
|a period 🤭
|u/Umm_is_this_thing_on - 11 hours
|
|You would think… but I just read an AITA? post about a
|breastfeeding mother who is being shamed by her husband for
|“showing” her boobs to her older children as she is feeding her
|youngest. Way to sexualize the mom and create weirdness around
|women’s bodies and their natural functions. In this case just a
|human function. I am wondering if he has an extreme case of
|misophonia.
|u/MsGrymm - 10 hours
|
|I read a post quite some time ago where a guy told his gf she
|couldn't have her period on vacation. She told him she didn't
|have a choice in the matter. His reply, "can't you just hold it
|in?"
|u/ComplaintSafe842 - 12 hours
|
|Yes, his reign is about to end.
|u/bgroves22 - 5 hours
|
|When it reigns it poors
|u/Wander-Wench - 16 hours
|
|He probably thinks defecating is unladylike. Edited to correct
|stupid autocorrect 🙄
|u/jennRec46 - 16 hours
|
|I hate when women defect too, it’s so unladylike
|u/Kitchen_Interview923 - 14 hours
|
|Can you actually defect if you're reigning?
|u/ChronicApathetic - 11 hours
|
|I mean, a bunch of European monarchs fled to other countries
|when their own country was invaded by the nazis in WWII. Not
|quite defecting as they remained monarchs of those countries,
|just from a distance. But I imagine that’s about as close as
|one could get to defecting if one is reigning?
|u/t6edoc - 15 hours
|
|ahh, _I_ see what you did there..
|u/Maxwells_Demona - 14 hours
|
|For real. When a man defects, he's an "unsung hero" or engaging
|in "noble rebellion." But when I defect, I'm a "traitor to the
|throne" and have "committed treason." The double standard is so
|tiring, smh.
|u/Threadheads - 13 hours
|
|It is. Betraying the motherland for the decadent west is not
|something a true lady would do.
|u/Morecatspls_ - 12 hours
|
|Excuse me? I haven't pooped since 1978.
|u/shannofordabiz - 12 hours
|
|Aaah, that would be defecating- not defecting
|u/Cheap-Economics4897 - 10 hours
|
|When you turned 12 and got a more ladylike excretion?
|u/MukDoug - 14 hours
|
|Hold up now. She’s never going to achieve her I’m a 1980’s Disney
|Princess Pin with that attitude.
|u/Trishanamarandu - 13 hours
|
|disney princesses are constantly yawning and stretching.
|u/Potential-Light-7588 - 10 hours
|
|Right? Snow White Yawns a bunch and she is super Lady like!
|u/livelypianogirl - 14 hours
|
|And who are we performing for in the bedroom? Drop him asap. 💕
|u/robottestsaretoohard - 10 hours
|
|Do you know what is totally not ladylike? Pushing out a baby. There
|is **nothing** ladylike about that marathon. But somehow only
|‘ladies’ can do it. Bugger right off with this old misogynist
|crap.
|u/stannc00 - 8 hours
|
|Tell him a blowjob isn’t ladylike either so you won’t be doing that
|anymore.
|u/Morecatspls_ - 12 hours
|
|Oh, yeah. There's more, There's a lot more. You just haven't seen
|it yet.
|u/sumthingsumthingblah - 11 hours
|
|Wait until he finds out that you burp and fart too (because you are
|a living breathing creature).
|u/Unusual-Sympathy-205 - 7 hours
|
|But it’s worse than that, because yawning isn’t a behavior. It’s a
|reflex/bodily function. This is like him getting pissed because she
|sneezed, or got the hiccups, or sweated. It’s not really something
|you can stop doing.
|u/crystaljae - 15 hours
|
|My dad HATED if I forgot to cover my mouth when I yawned. I mean when
|I was a small child. I even remember one time as a child yawning and
|forgetting to cover my mouth and he got so upset telling me how rude
|I was and how disgusting it was. Here I was a 8-10 year old and I
|really remember thinking that he was so dramatic about such a benign
|thing. It was weird to me. But I never yawn without covering my mouth
|now.
|u/AccidentallySJ - 14 hours
|
|Shame, the gift that keeps on giving.
|u/crystaljae - 14 hours
|
|This made me laugh.
|u/Orange_Kitty_0307 - 15 hours
|
|Did he expect everyone to cover their mouths when yawning, or just
|women?
|u/HomeschoolingDad - 10 hours
|
|Covering your mouth when yawning is basic politeness, at least
|how I was raised, much like covering your mouth when sneezing or
|coughing. That said, I would argue it’s less critical, and
|something that can be gently taught to a child. But never
|yawning at all?!? GTFO.
|u/crystaljae - 14 hours
|
|Everyone. It was as if opening your mouth wide in public was
|rude.
|u/Perfect_Opinion7909 - 12 hours
|
|It actually is. Most often it is perceived as polite to cover
|your mouth when yawning. There’s probably several reason but
|there is a theory that it originated as a disease prevention
|method (similar to coughing and sneezing). https://www.science
|direct.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886922001994#:~:text=Al
|though%20seemingly%20polite%2C%20covering%20the,disease%20(Walu
|sinski%2C%202010a).
|u/AussieLady01 - 8 hours
|
|To be fair, it is considered rude. Certainly was in his
|generation, but I think it still is for most people.
|u/MsDonnaE - 8 hours
|
|That’s how I was raised too.
|u/NerinNZ - 5 hours
|
|Yeah. Cover your mouth when you yawn please. I don't want to
|see down your throat. Same with eating. Keep your mouth closed
|when you're eating please. Your dad was a dick, but he wasn't
|wrong.
|u/ExcitementSad3079 - 13 hours
|
|Was he religious? I heard some BS about letting the devil in
|when you didn't cover your mouth. People are weird.
|u/Spiritual-Jicama-227 - 11 hours
|
|I hope he never went to a sports game and chanted any songs out
|loud, or yelled at teams then. SMH What an outrageous thing to
|have a problem with.
|u/Constantly_Curious27 - 7 hours
|
|“Just women” is huge here. My parents taught me it was rude when
|people to not cover your mouth (socially and hygienically), so I
|try to be considerate to cover my mouth. If OP’s finance is not
|covering his mouth then, it’s a stupid double standard.
|u/Katressl - 15 hours
|
|I mean, legit, you can accidentally spray a bit of saliva when you
|yawn, so it's a sensible norm for people to cover their yawns. But
|his reaction sounds over-the-top.
|u/rachiebabe220 - 12 hours
|
|I have embarrassingly done this before 😖 so I do try to remember
|to cover my mouth if I find I can’t stifle a yawn. I just have
|been taught the same when I was younger, because it’s also
|ingrained in me that I should cover my mouth if I need to yawn in
|public or around others, in general. But tbh, stifling a yawn
|feels almost as yucky as that sneeze that never comes.
|u/BarrTender8 - 13 hours
|
|It's called gleeking.
|u/woolybear14623 - 14 hours
|
|Most of us cover a yawn in public. I don't in bed and if a man is
|in bed with me it would not be a stranger so would most likely be
|someone who has been more intimate than just seeing me yawn. If
|my yawn offends him then he needs to find another place to live
|and I 'll limit my un-feminin behavior from his delicate eyes
|and sensitive ears. As to inadvertant saliva a yawn is not a
|sneeze and usually involves an intake of air and slow release not
|a violent expulsion of air. BF is an unbearable drama Queen.
|u/Silvershryke - 12 hours
|
|Sometimes when yawning the movement of the tongue can compress
|the salivary glands beneath it which can cause a small amount
|of saliva to squirt out, so that does happen to some people.
|That said, a significant other should in no way be offended or
|grossed out by this and not being allowed to yawn in your own
|home far less your own bed is insane.
|u/haleorshine - 11 hours
|
|Also, OP was facing away and he apparently had his eyes closed,
|so he had no way of knowing if her hand covered her mouth. He
|was upset she had an involuntary physical reaction, and he's an
|AH. He needs to apologise not just for this time, but he needs
|to accept OP is going to yawn, and he can't keep doing this to
|her just because he's decided this is something women don't do.
|The fact that he hasn't apologized for physically hurting OP
|yet is a huge red flag. OP, I would also caution you against
|the "He doesn't know his own strength" narrative. Does he
|randomly hurt people throughout his life with his unexpected
|strength, or is it just the woman he supposedly loves? Either
|way, he should be working on this, but if it's just you, it's
|because he chose to hurt you, not because he couldn't help it.
|u/noobchee - 12 hours
|
|Like a Cobra
|u/Immediate_Bad_4985 - 8 hours
|
|This! ^ but also, I feel like I’ve always covered mine when
|yawning because it makes me uncomfortable to have someone able to
|easily perceive the entire inside of my mouth with their
|eyeballs? Like… gross. Don’t look in there *covers mouth*
|u/OrganizationSafe4255 - 14 hours
|
|But if you cover your mouth then your germs get on your hands and
|you hands touch things
|u/enableconsonant - 14 hours
|
|1) hand sanitizer 2) you can cover your mouth without shoving
|your fingers inside
|u/SarahKelper - 13 hours
|
|Your second point made me laugh
|u/rachiebabe220 - 12 hours
|
|Same here 🤣 re-read this several times for pure enjoyment
|and picturing it
|u/DigDugDogDun - 11 hours
|
|So you cover your mouth with your arm then, same as coughing
|u/Acrobatic_Unit_2927 - 13 hours
|
|Im amazed there are people left who haven't heard of 'vampire'
|covering
|u/Far_Cardiologist_261 - 14 hours
|
|I'm always amazed at what people think. Yawn with your
|goddamned mouth open for christ's sake. People overreact about
|the strangest things.
|u/Fun-Yellow-6576 - 13 hours
|
|I cover my mouth when yawing even when I’m alone, my Dad instilled
|in me that you cover your mouth when yawning EVERY SINGLE TIME!
|u/ygs07 - 10 hours
|
|Yes, mine did too. And I think it is the right thing to do.
|u/bored2death97 - 12 hours
|
|I was taught to cover my mouth when I yawn. Now I hate when other
|people don't.
|u/Acrobatic_Pin_7596 - 11 hours
|
|I’ve never thought much about it, but this thread made me yawn
|and I instinctively covered my mouth. I tried not to on a second
|yawn and it’s like I can’t even fully yawn without putting my
|hand there.
|u/Stunning-General1404 - 13 hours
|
|My dad was the same way. He especially hated it if natural sounds
|came out of women and girls. It was very disgusting to him and not
|“lady-like”.
|u/Immediate_Bad_4985 - 8 hours
|
|Me and my siblings (one brother two sisters) used to fart at the
|dinner table on a daily basis 🥴 There are two extremes, anyone
|reading this take it as a lesson to find a middle ground when
|raising your kids 🤣
|u/Spidooi - 5 hours
|
|Our middle ground was that our mom insisted that during dinner,
|we walked out of the kitchen when we needed to fart. That
|resulted in me standing at the other side of the doorframe of
|the kitchen, letting go of the most foul sounding and smelling
|farts known to man while looking everyone at the dinner table
|straight in the eyes.
|u/Which-Performance-83 - 12 hours
|
|Man, here i am trying to throw candy in my kids' mouths when they
|yawn.
|u/crystaljae - 12 hours
|
|That's what I would do too
|u/fabulousinfaux - 14 hours
|
|Well covering your mouth is just manners.. I don’t think that’s
|crazy at all and I think everyone should. But having some weird
|reaction to women yawning is fucking bizarre.
|u/crystaljae - 13 hours
|
|I think you can teach children good manners without shaming them
|and getting angry.
|u/Pugsley-Doo - 11 hours
|
|I dont want to go there, but I will... I really think men just
|sexualise things, espeially in girls, and the whole "open mouth"
|thing just sets off a sick thought in their minds - there's a
|reason this is seemingly commonplace by looking at these comments.
|u/Green-Pop-358 - 9 hours
|
|That’s gross that he made you feel bad about that. I’m sorry.
|u/Ok-Weakness-3206 - 15 hours
|
|He doesn't just sound like a dick, he's a dick and a moron, tf is
|"lady like" it's a freaking bodily function of all people, even
|ladies!
|u/tiabeanie - 15 hours
|
|“ladies” aren’t exactly people to these types of guys 🤷 to be
|“lady like,” they want you to submit and perform their idea of what
|a woman should be, a lady, not a woman
|u/Whatever53143 - 14 hours
|
|Can you imagine if she snored? Definitely not “ladylike!” Ugh!
|u/Upstairs_Gate_2346 - 13 hours
|
|What if she farted? I once overheard a conversation about a dud
|who was so grossed out by his wife farting in beg that he
|vomited!
|u/humanisalooseterm - 13 hours
|
|I mean I vomited once when my partner at the time farted in
|bed, but she has IBS, we fell about laughing, I went back to
|bed and kissed her hard, and then went to sleep. Fond memories!
|u/Ashamed_Carpet7897 - 15 hours
|
|My grandma would say that BUT it only applied at public dinners and
|stuff like that, at home it didn't matter
|u/corlana - 15 hours
|
|My super old 7th grade English teacher in 2009 was very anti-yawns.
|It was awful because it would be 8am and kids naturally yawn and
|she'd scold them for not paying enough attention even if you covered
|your mouth. She's the only person I've ever known to be bothered by a
|yawn.
|u/Pantokraterix - 15 hours
|
|Does he also think women can choose not to have periods?
|u/Perimentalpause - 15 hours
|
|Yawning is a result of your brain needing a little more oxygen. It's
|affiliated with 'laziness', because most people who are oxygen
|deprived from sleep or needing to sleep, yawn. It has nothing to do
|with being lazy, and it's kind of telling that fiance equates
|exhaustion and natural bodily function with laziness and being
|unladylike. If I were OP, I'd go eat some chili, then stand there
|and fart my chili farts while looking him dead in his dumb eyes.
|u/MsGrymm - 10 hours
|
|French onion dip and beer - - *FATALITY*
|u/Solvemprobler369 - 15 hours
|
|I literally burp out loud in my house all the time and never
|apologize. My husband hates it but it’s a natural bodily function,
|just like yawning, so I never feel like it’s ’not lady like’. Fuck
|that noise. I didn’t get where I am in life by always ‘acting like a
|lady’.
|u/ninja_xo - 15 hours
|
|I agree. This would definitely be a dealbreaker for me as this could
|potentially point to other red flag behaviors in the future. He wants
|you to act a certain way. Just my opinion. Yawning is natural and
|involuntary. Can it be improved so it’s not loud, maybe but for him
|to react this way is a big red flag. He doesn’t want you to yawn?
|That’s ridiculous.
|u/raspberrykitsune - 15 hours
|
|In animals yawning is a sign of stress. If OP is yawning so much
|around her fiance her body is trying to tell her something 🚩🚩
|u/Specific-Pear6899 - 12 hours
|
|You know the old saying "if it bothers you now it will drive you
|insane after you're married" If he's a dick now he'll be a monster
|about it later
|u/Purple_Wrongdoer_985 - 10 hours
|
|But when he does it, I bet it's perfectly fine.
|u/OhYayItsPretzelDay - 14 hours
|
|Also, 1) OP was in bed. Half asleep... "Lazy sounding?" and 2) I
|don't think elbowing someone for any reason is okay.
|u/Clearwatercress69 - 14 hours
|
|I had many relationships in the past. And I have a wife. Never have I
|elbowed, punched or slapped any of them. Screaming contests? Sure.
|Every now and then. The only thing I do not know is how I’d react if
|they farted in from of me. I also don’t fart in from of them.
|Yawning? Since when is that an issue? I might have missed an internet
|trend.
|u/CqwyxzKpr - 13 hours
|
|Control, don't yawn, you control it or I'll Pavlov dog you to control
|it. That's abusive paired with the nudge.
|u/hmelt72 - 13 hours
|
|Agree. Fiancé is the dick. It’s a natural response if you are tired,
|waking up, I have even yawned when working out. The fact that he
|elbowed you, be careful. Sounds to me he wants to control you and
|what your body does. Drop him.
|u/snarkshark41191 - 13 hours
|
|Careful, he’s the type of guy to tell a woman she’s yelling too much
|during childbirth
|u/Tactical-Sense - 12 hours
|
|Yes! Better expressed than I could. ☺️
|u/Monday0987 - 9 hours
|
|I disagree with him making it about gender but some people (including
|my partner) involve their vocal chords in the yawn. It's so annoying
|when he wakes me up in the morning making stupid yawn noises. I bet
|OP makes stupid noises along with the yawn, and doesn't even realise.
|u/goblinfruitleather - 1 hour
|
|Not sticking up for him at all because his behavior is NOT okay, but
|it sounds like he has misophonia. If you go to the misophonia sub
|you’ll see lots of people list yawning as a trigger. I have it too,
|although yawning isn’t one of the things that bothers me. It’s really
|sucks and it’s a tough connection to live with, but we have to learn
|to control our triggers and not act out towards people who trigger
|us. He probably doesn’t even know he has this and just thinks he
|hates yawning for whatever reasons, which is how I felt about some
|noises (like whistling) before I knew about the condition.
|Regardless, he needs to learn to live with it in a way that doesn’t
|hurt others
|u/Kaoss01 - 27 minutes
|
|Elbowing your partner is not gentlemanlike in the slightest. Start
|farting next to him and wafting it toward him and let's see how fast
|yawning seems more lady like in comparison.
|u/catsrme - 14 hours
|
|Can I just ask, because I'm seeing myself in these top comments, but
|I slightly do this too... I find it rude to yawn with your mouth open
|and not cover it. I mean, I don't nudge my partner like that but I do
|mention it, mostly in a jokey fashion but it does bother me. Is it
|something I should just leave alone? I don't mean to be controlling,
|and don't want to either, there's just a couple of things my partner
|does that just feels inconsiderate / rude / impolite. E.g. picking at
|fingers, chewing fingers, yawning and coughing without covering your
|mouth. Is that just something i need to let go or not address? An
|occasional occurrence would not be an issue but these things are all
|the time, multiple times a day. I think the yawning thing has mostly
|stopped but the fingers thing drives me mad! The sound of it,
|especially if we're cuddling or holding hands, quite literally puts
|me on edge! Not least because it's not good for them either! Nails /
|fingers are a bit of a mess! The yawning thing I find especially
|obnoxious when it's this big loud (exaggerated?) yawn without the
|mouth covering. As I said, we joke about it and it's not done in the
|same sort of way as in this post but I hate to feel like my partner
|might feel controlled in that sense. Ah, Jesus, writing this down
|makes me think it probably is. I just don't know what to do about it?
|The sounds just really get to me! I know I have sound sensitivity
|(possibly misophania) so I have got some ear plugs things that help a
|little with other noises but I'm not sure what else to do! At least
|the whistling stopped early on!
|u/catsrme - 14 hours
|
|Oh, also, I didn't mean to make this gender neutral, especially as
|part of this is about being 'unfeminine' but I'm actually a woman
|and my partner is a man!
|u/pikawolf1225 - 12 hours
|
|I would just ask your partner how they feel about you bringing it
|up! Make sure you clarify that its partly a you thing and partly
|out of concern for their health (you're right in saying that
|putting your fingers in your mouth is rather unsanitary)! You are
|already doing significantly better then OPs fiance is because you
|are actually being considerate of your partner!
|u/catsrme - 12 hours
|
|I will do this again, I think he understands where I'm coming
|from as he does know that it annoys me but also that it causes
|small issues with his fingers (I mean he's not Hannibal Lectar
|or anything but always has tears and hard bits on them, added
|to the fact he works a manual job, it's just not good!) I've
|offered to get him some of that bad tasting stuff that you
|paint on because I also used to have a nail biting / skin
|around there issue, but he bats it away. Do you think getting
|it for him and asking if he can try it would be too much? X
|u/sumthingsumthingblah - 11 hours
|
|OP seemed like the issue was with yawning in general not the lack
|of covering her mouth, correct?
|u/ChillKarma - 11 hours
|
|I dated a highly narcissistic man - and one of his joys was picking
|apart little things I did. This behavior you are describing is a red
|flag to me. Controlling and “disciplining” for no apparent purpose
|is a terrible trait in a partner. Is this part of a possibly larger
|pattern you’ve just been lulled into accepting as normal? If you
|remove the “justification” - how would you think of him elbowing and
|dismissing you like that? Is he training you that it’s ok to be
|mistreated because it’s your fault? Is he training you not to speak
|up for yourself because he won’t listen/will blame you for his poor
|behavior / say you are over reacting?
|u/DuerkTuerkWrite - 16 hours
|
|Please date someone who likes you
|u/Zen1 - 12 hours
|
|Also, please date someone who understands how the human body
|functions
|u/specks_of_dust - 2 hours
|
|It makes me concerned about people's hygiene and sex lives. Yeah,
|it's none of my business, but I can't help but to doubt that
|someone who can't understand that yawns are involuntary knows how
|to use his penis effectively, let alone keep it clean.
|u/mercury_risiing - 14 hours
|
|This comment cracked me up..still laughing
|u/anothererratum - 2 hours
|
|I feel like this advice easily covers 90% of the relationship
|problems I’ve read from people on Reddit.
|u/Cute_Beat7013 - 17 hours
|
|He’s a jerk and you need to have an awake conversation about how women
|are not decorative objects, and how he needs to disabuse himself of
|these casually misogynistic ideas. He shouldn’t get infinite chances to
|be a dick, and I’d suggest you make it clear you won’t tolerate him
|being one again.
|u/TheOneWhoDigs - 17 hours
|
|"women are not decorative objects" got me snapping my fingers. This
|is like telling someone to never sneeze around you or something, like
|what the sociopathic fuck are we talking about rn?! You can't
|just... Not yawn.
|u/Cute_Beat7013 - 17 hours
|
|Thanks for the snaps. Yes, not only do women never fart, we don’t
|cough, yawn, sneeze… and we can control our periods with our minds
|and stop our rapists from impregnating us. Surely breathing is also
|optional?
|u/andiangel2005 - 16 hours
|
|Yeah I'm pretty sure breathing is optional for us too. Just like
|sleeping - we don't need sleep either, especially wives and
|mothers.
|u/FighterOfFoo - 10 hours
|
|Sleeping? Sounds lazy.
|u/zefroxy - 2 hours
|
|Breathing?? Oh, I know for a fact we can breathe wrong. And use
|the wrong volume and inflection. Seriously, staying with an
|abuser/controller will result in you cutting pieces of yourself
|off slowly as you try to not provoke him. It sucks trying to
|regrow the pieces that you’ve lost.
|u/JustMeOutThere - 16 hours
|
|And if you can't do all that as a woman it's because you are not
|manifesting enough of course. Lol
|u/Imaginary-Pain9598 - 15 hours
|
|Yep! I’m down here looking for comments about whether or not she
|is allowed to chew or fart 🤣
|u/Whatever53143 - 14 hours
|
|I already mentioned snoring! Can’t imagine that looked upon
|favorably!
|u/LadySAD64 - 12 hours
|
|He wears a CPAP. He still snores some I bet.
|u/StormFinch - 10 hours
|
|Or makes airplane noises, hubs does when he dislodges the
|seal on his cpap mask. Sometimes I wake up wondering if
|someone is landing a small engine plane in our bedroom.
|u/bleebloobleebl - 17 hours
|
|💀
|u/thisworldisbullshirt - 13 hours
|
|My ex-husband would get mad if I had the hiccups or got sick.
|u/Cute_Beat7013 - 13 hours
|
|glad he’s your ex 💕
|u/findingmywayback2me - 3 hours
|
|My late husband couldn't stand it when I had the sniffles—The
|saddest part is that he usually caused it by making me cry.
|u/Aazjhee - 15 hours
|
|Clearly women are superhuman, which is why men need to be hyper
|paranoid about them cheating/leaving/being smarter /s Dx
|u/flat_four_whore22 - 12 hours
|
|This would would be way funnier if it wasn't true.
|u/Macktheshark - 6 hours
|
|I sneezed earlier and I’m convinced I have entered the matrix.
|u/Corfiz74 - 16 hours
|
|OP should sit him down and gently break it to him that she also
|shits and farts. He may not be aware yet, since that is so
|absolutely unladylike...
|u/lawfox32 - 13 hours
|
|She should read him the Jonathan Swift poem "The Lady's Dressing
|Room," particularly the memorable line "Celia, Celia, Celia
|shits!"
|u/MichiganMainer - 17 hours
|
|OMG, what an insight. I went to a Little Big Town concert last
|week. Heard the song “Daughters”. OP needs to listen to those
|lyrics. They bring to life your quote about decorative objects. I
|was crying in this concert thinking about everything I want for my
|daughters and grand daughter. And being treated like OP’s AH BF is
|not what I dream of for my daughters.
|u/just-a-whosit - 15 hours
|
|Just popping in from my lurking to say thank you for introducing
|me to this song holy shit
|u/PomeloFull4400 - 17 hours
|
|My ex wife said she hated the sound I made when I chewed food even
|with my mouth closed, so she always made us eat separately or I had
|to be careful about that I ordered at restaurants so as not to get
|anything crunchy. There's a reason she's my ex.
|u/Katressl - 15 hours
|
|It sounds like she has mild to moderate misophonia, which
|wouldn't be her fault, and a lot of people don't realize why
|they're reacting so badly to noises like that. Certain sounds
|will overwhelm the nervous systems of people with misophonia to
|the point where we lash out, have a panic attack, and/or feel
|physical pain. But I try to be nice about it when I'm having an
|issue (usually to ask my roommate to sit further away from me)
|*and* have ways of coping, like earplugs that don't block out
|conversation completely or anxiety-soothing techniques.
|u/canolafly - 14 hours
|
|It's all about the earplugs and noise cancelling headphones...
|My issue isn't chewing, but it does cause panic attacks, and if
|chronic noise level remains unchanged, hives.
|u/libertygal76 - 13 hours
|
|This sounds so much like my ex and the shit he used to do.
|Narcopath that destroyed my life. It’s been years and I am still
|not ok. Run girl run.
|u/3x1st3nc3s - 12 hours
|
|Narcopath? I gotta look that one up
|u/3x1st3nc3s - 11 hours
|
|Ah. ‘a perpetually malevolent control freak’ yeah my ex had
|some of those attributes as well. It’s been 15 years for me but
|sometimes feels like yesterday. We just need to remember we’re
|survivors and leave the pathetic sob’s in the rear view.
|u/Kokospize - 15 hours
|
|As great as this girl power mantra sounds on Reddit, it doesn't
|really work with people like OP. She has to already believe that her
|existence isn't merely to please her fiancé for this to make sense to
|her. If she did, she wouldn't be in this predicament now. As absurd
|as it sounds, OP states that he has always hated when she yawned,
|which, btw is an involuntary reaction that he himself does. Yet, she
|hung around long enough to be engaged to a man who called her yawning
|rude and unladylike. Then she writes a post asking if she overreacted
|by taking the sheets off him AFTER he elbowed her spine for yawning.
|If or when she realizes that this guy policing her actions is not a
|good sign, hopefully, she'll move on.
|u/Cute_Beat7013 - 15 hours
|
|As someone who could have written OP’s post myself at 21-22, I do
|think there’s hope yet.
|u/Fearless_Tale2727 - 6 hours
|
|As long as she doesn’t marry him
|u/Individual_Ebb3219 - 14 hours
|
|The good thing is that many women will reach their breaking point
|eventually and leave the worthless POS jerks they are in
|relationships with. I did. After ten years and at the age of 29 I
|blew up my entire life and started over. Never been happier than I
|am now at 36.
|u/IncreaseGlum6213 - 13 hours
|
|Sadly, you are correct. If nothing else I hope this post makes her
|start unpacking things and stop turning a blind eye to other poor
|behaviors and micro aggressions
|u/flippysquid - 11 hours
|
|The cool thing about the internet, and this subreddit in general is
|people who have been mashed and shamed into little boxes over their
|normal and healthy behaviors can come here and get tons of
|validation that they are normal and that their partners are abusive
|weirdos, and that it’s okay to leave. I wish there was a bunch of
|well meaning internet strangers to get outraged on my behalf when I
|was younger. It would have saved me a lot of suffering.
|u/Madam_Yes - 14 hours
|
|Well said. And my husband agrees...
|u/riverside_123 - 13 hours
|
|Thanks for sharing. Disabusing oneself of casually misogynstic
|ideas struck a chord for me, as a man with some more work to do.
|u/Cute_Beat7013 - 13 hours
|
|It’s worthwhile work to examine the aetiology of things we take for
|granted, and decide whether to continue to perpetuate those values
|or not.
|u/owldeityscrolling - 12 hours
|
|She needs to leave him. Why does she need to teach him to realize
|she’s human. wtf is it with straight women willing to mother their
|boyfriends into treating them with basic respect? Leave him if he’s
|like that!
|u/Pugsley-Doo - 11 hours
|
|there's a reason the stats on women who get cancer and their husbands
|just straight up leaving them is so huge.
|u/raythepanny - 11 hours
|
|This comment made me think about this song called “The doll people “
|By Sofia Isella. I think every woman should listen to this song its
|so fucking powerful.
|u/Solid_Somewhere9566 - 13 hours
|
|#AMEM AMEN AMEN! Nip that Sh!+ in the bud real quick.
|u/bepsigir - 17 hours
|
|Not over reacting. Why does he feel he has the right to police your
|bodily functions? Are there other aspects in your relationship where
|he shows his controlling behavior (tells you what you can/cannot wear
|or who you are allowed to hang out with)? If I were you, I would look
|hard at the relationship and decide if this is who I want to spend my
|life with.
|u/ccc2801 - 10 hours
|
|It really feels like one of the many posts on relationshipadvice
|where the woman is 22 and the man is a decade older and they’ve been
|dating for 5 years. And she’s wondering if his behaviour is ok.
|u/Fivedayhangovers - 16 hours
|
|He feels like he has the right because she’s allowing it.
|u/MedicineThat8434 - 17 hours
|
|[ Removed by Reddit ]
|u/New_Ambassador1194 - 16 hours
|
|Isn’t yawning like hella involuntary number one and just something
|every animal does? Mammals at least idk about like birds or fish?
|Took me a while to figure out fish sleep so who knows they probably
|yawn too
|u/Acrobatic-Condition8 - 16 hours
|
|Tortoises also yawn, it’s quite cute. But yeah no one really has
|control over a yawn and delaying it may make the yawn bigger in my
|experience lol
|u/Reflection_Secure - 16 hours
|
|I was about to comment that my tortoise has the cutest yawn 😍
|u/Acrobatic-Condition8 - 16 hours
|
|They’re adorable aren’t they? My little red foot tortoise gives
|some adorable ass yawns 🥺
|u/ArcadiaRivea - 15 hours
|
|I have a red foot too! He's such a grouch and often has
|resting bitch face but a yawn disarms his grumpy facade,
|because he's just so cute And he's so dramatic - if he's
|stomping around he'll actually stop to do the biggest yawn
|(and then that little "lip smacking" thing cats do after
|yawning) before continuing his walk!
|u/Acrobatic-Condition8 - 14 hours
|
|Omfg that is adorable and so real for tortoises. Mine looks
|like a grump as well! But the yawns and the poses for naps
|just make them look like the cutest most precious little
|thing 🥺
|u/SuperCulture9114 - 15 hours
|
|Ass yawns? Do they stink? 😁
|u/Acrobatic-Condition8 - 15 hours
|
|Lmfaoooooo, yes they make some stinky farts
|u/Reflection_Secure - 15 hours
|
|I never thought they could have so much personality! Mine is
|a lil Russian.
|u/Acrobatic-Condition8 - 15 hours
|
|Awhhhh adorable! I was going to get a Russian but decided
|to get a red foot. It’s so surprising how much personality
|these creatures have! Most people think they’re just boring
|but having one shows you they’re quite the little energy
|balls and oh so silly. From cute yawns to attempting to
|mate with inanimate objects to their wild climbing
|abilities, tortoises are awesome!
|u/Reflection_Secure - 15 hours
|
|I've seen this phrase a few times and I love it so much,
|"If you see a turtle on top of a fence, someone put it
|there. If you see a tortoise on top of a fence, it's a
|Russian." They're just such adventurous little escape
|artists!
|u/Quirky_Independent79 - 15 hours
|
|Is there a photo of said yawning tortoise? I love them!
|u/Only-Entertainment16 - 14 hours
|
|When my parrot yawns while he’s getting a good scratch. It’s
|super cute!
|u/Weeitsabear1 - 15 hours
|
|I have a picture of my cockatiel yawning and it's hilarious.
|u/Acrobatic-Condition8 - 15 hours
|
|Omg that’s freaking adorable. Idk why I didn’t even consider
|birds yawning lol!
|u/Weeitsabear1 - 14 hours
|
|I'll see if I can find it and attach....plus he has his
|little foot up on a raised edge like a human with a foot on a
|bench-so funny.
|u/Acrobatic-Condition8 - 13 hours
|
|Love that! I do hope to see the picture! I’ve never seen a
|bird yawn lol
|u/Vintage_Moon_88 - 14 hours
|
|My RES, such a yawny ladie 😍♥️🥹🫶🏻
|u/Just_Me1973 - 15 hours
|
|My chickens yawn
|u/CharleyDharkmere - 15 hours
|
|Yawning both helps regulate your nervous system as well as give you
|an oxygen boost. If OP's husband doesn't yawn sympathetically, he's
|a sociopath.
|u/Beginning_College734 - 13 hours
|
|Or autistic but, in this situation, I lean sociopathic FS.
|u/awfulmcnofilter - 16 hours
|
|All vertebrates yawn.
|u/Beginning_College734 - 13 hours
|
|Bruh if caught an invertebrate yawning I think I’d die of
|cuteness ( I keep isopods)
|u/awfulmcnofilter - 10 hours
|
|Isopods are pretty stinking cute.
|u/rsta223 - 9 hours
|
|Who wouldn't love [this face](https://www.reddit.com/media?ur
|l=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fhypothetically-speaking-
|could-you-keep-a-marine-giant-isopod-v0-mpj4a2uaqgyc1.jpeg%3F
|width%3D1080%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D2dc8d69a29cc0
|bb8dd24db89436bcbbf3d2dc808)?
|u/awfulmcnofilter - 7 hours
|
|Well that was much larger than I expected. I was imagining
|rubber duckies.
|u/LostTeapot_08 - 15 hours
|
|We even start yawning in the womb!
|u/_ThunderGoat_ - 12 hours
|
|Omg! That's so unbaby like!
|u/-one-eye-open- - 15 hours
|
|Fish yawn. Source: I keep fish.
|u/judyleet - 11 hours
|
|Well, thank you for the most delightful rabbit hole. [Animal
|Yawns](https://youtu.be/2oBimtQ1yY4?si=H5qHOWwcY6tbCA4R) 😀💙
|u/New_Ambassador1194 - 11 hours
|
|Didn’t expect the thread to be so informative💀 learned a few new
|things today
|u/astrologicaldreams - 7 hours
|
|found this on wiki: > "A yawn is a reflex in vertebrate animals
|characterized by a long inspiratory phase with gradual mouth
|gaping, followed by a brief climax (or acme) with muscle
|stretching, and a rapid expiratory phase with muscle relaxation,
|which typically lasts a few seconds.[2][3] For fish and birds, this
|is described as gradual mouth gaping, staying open for at least
|three seconds and subsequently a rapid closure of the
|mouth.[4] Almost all vertebrate animals, including mammals, birds,
|reptiles, amphibians, and even fish, experience yawning. The study
|of yawning is called chasmology." > "Yawning (oscitation) most
|often occurs in adults immediately before and after sleep, during
|tedious activities and as a result of its contagious quality.[8] It
|is commonly associated with tiredness, stress, sleepiness, boredom,
|or even hunger. In humans, yawning is often triggered by the
|perception that others are yawning (for example, seeing a person
|yawning, or talking to someone on the phone who is yawning). This
|is a typical example of echopraxia and positive
|feedback.[9][10] This "contagious" yawning has also been observed
|in chimpanzees, dogs, cats, birds, and reptiles and can occur
|between members of different species.[11][12][13] Approximately
|twenty psychological reasons for yawning have been proposed by
|scholars but there is little agreement on the primacy of any
|one.[8]" TL;DR: damn near everything yawns (yes, including fish.
|they do something that looks an awful lot like yawning), and
|there's a bunch of different reasons for it. it is not a voluntary
|thing and cannot be controled. source for the last part: me eta:
|wiki again. i was right. > "Action: Involuntary"
|u/Sweffus - 15 hours
|
|airhorn whenever he poops
|u/Bella_LaGhostly - 13 hours
|
|This is the answer. Right under the door!
|u/_crystallil_ - 16 hours
|
|I would love to see the ages posted for this.
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 15 hours
|
|Both in our 30s and I'm older.
|u/StinkyKitty1998 - 14 hours
|
|He's abusive. You can do far better and you should. His behavior
|around your yawning is unacceptable.
|u/Bella_LaGhostly - 13 hours
|
|NOR. This is ridiculous. My BF used to yawn really loudly, every
|time, on purpose. We're talking full-on Wookie impression. It was
|hella irritating, and also hurt my ears. If you were doing
|something like that, I'd understand him saying something like,
|'Hey, that really hurts my ears. Could you knock it off?' But
|just **normal yawning**?! Tell him to get the fuck out of here
|with that. It's emotionally abusive, I'm sorry to say. I would
|be leery if I were you; he's picking at you for this now, but
|when will it stop? What if you're feeding your newborn & you yawn
|- is he going to walk over & flick you in the head? What if his
|KIDS yawn?? I'm (gently) over 40. There was a time I'd
|internalize this & think it was my fault, but no more. Tell this
|guy to take a hike until he's mature enough to know how to treat
|people. Good luck, OP! 💜
|u/Terrible-Big-Baby888 - 16 hours
|
|Hahahahha yes.
|u/justhereforfighting - 17 hours
|
|This is surely your ex-fiance now right? This is not only incredibly
|rude but it shows both a deep lack of respect and his reasoning is
|incredible misogynistic. I highly doubt this is the only stupid/vile
|opinion on women he has.
|u/UMRKqc - 16 hours
|
|He's obviously already extremely annoyed by her. This is a marriage
|that definitely should not happen.
|u/Watcher0705 - 14 hours
|
|What’s he gonna do when a newborn yawns?
|u/BIack_no_01 - 4 hours
|
|If it's a son it's fine, after all why should a boy be ladylike? /s
|u/Outside_Scale_9874 - 4 hours
|
|Just a quick elbow to the spine, nbd /s
|u/Due-Froyo-5418 - 3 hours
|
|😱
|u/avast2006 - 17 hours
|
|He thinks it’s okay to control you with pain. That’s a dealbreaker
|Then there’s the fact that what bothers him is freaking irrational.
|Yawns are semi-involuntary and he’s reacting like you are deliberately
|doing something to annoy him. Compared to, gee, elbowing you in the
|ribs? So he thinks it’s unladylike? Make him answer how masculine it
|is of him to engage in domestic violence over a yawn? You need to
|leave him.
|u/Katressl - 15 hours
|
|Yawns are usually completely involuntary!
|u/Triette - 13 hours
|
|He’s testing the waters right now to see what he can get away with.
|It will only get worse after marriage. Physical abuse is NEVER ok.
|Please leave this irrational abusive man.
|u/waitingfordeathhbu - 9 hours
|
|Just gonna add here that op has apparently been dating this man
|less than 5 months and is already engaged to him [(according to her
|recent deleted post history about being on the dating
|apps).](https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=Any-
|effective2565&q=League&size=100) He’s already purposely hurting
|her to control her, but she is sure she knows him well enough after
|5 months to promise he’s not abusive.
|u/TheFrailGrailQueen - 7 hours
|
|Wonder if he's been lovebombing her to get her to this point...
|u/wearthemasque - 55 minutes
|
|Definitely he has and I bet if she manages to find any ex
|girlfriends they have restraining orders and have horrifying
|stories…
|u/KarmaFarma_69 - 8 hours
|
|It upset me to read her defending him, "he doesn't know his own
|strength" yes he does know his own strength is restraint he is
|lacking and it's only gonna get worse. That's red flag central at
|only 5 months.
|u/waitingfordeathhbu - 8 hours
|
|She’s also
|[commented](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/GegZUAOnuF)
|about an ex she dated who tried to suffocate and beat her to
|death, so unfortunately the difficulty recognizing toxic
|behavior isn’t shocking :(
|u/jensmith20055002 - 5 hours
|
|Oh no! Her picker is broken. I do think she should demand
|he never ever fart again, even when alone.
|u/Maleficent-Ad-4644 - 9 hours
|
|This comment needs more up votes! You are exactly right triette.
|You’re not married yet, so he’s seeing what he can get away with
|and once you’re married the physical abuse will only escalate. He’s
|also being extremely controlling, manipulative, and gaslighting you
|in a seemingly insignificant way. It will only get worse. Please
|get out of this relationship.
|u/MolotovCockteaze - 5 hours
|
|right, and if they are in the US soon these awful Republicans
|that to take away no fault divorce making it harder for victims
|of DV to get away. Proving DV isn't easy and then you are trapped
|u/whatthewhat3214 - 16 hours
|
|💯💯💯!!!
|u/Sheslikeamom - 13 hours
|
|And what if OP has a daughter? Is she going to stand by while her
|husband berates and shoves the child's shoulder for yawning?
|u/Larkswing13 - 10 hours
|
|Yeah I was going to say. The fact that it’s a ridiculous ask doesn’t
|help, but the meat of the issue here is that he is willing to inflict
|physical pain to punish her for things.
|u/vegetable_swamp75 - 11 hours
|
|Exactly. Leave him
|u/parmesann - 7 hours
|
|my only thought when reading OP's post was "he's your fiancé? that
|means it's not too late to get out of there"
|u/Klutzy-Somewhere- - 17 hours
|
|Imagine my brain needing oxygen being called not lady like. ☠️ GOD.
|Nope. No thank you… I needed a partner to be with me as a human, not as
|a lady if that makes sense… humans are fucking gross, we poop and vomit
|and get sick… I need someone there for me through all that and their
|view of me won’t change… My husband has pooped himself and he’s called
|me to help him clean it with no one noticing. I have been pregnant and
|vomiting and peeing myself at the same time 😂 life is long and gross. I
|just couldn’t handle the pressure if yawning is apparently too
|unladylike 😂 I dunno, but everyone has different expectations and needs
|in relationships… it’s up to you what you need and what you want… I
|can’t tell you that.. But, I can say, if you truly want this person
|for your life partner, then you should see them as a team mate.. your
|other half. Having your team just ignoring each other and arguing isn’t
|good for the team. So I would try and talk about how I feel he hurt me
|(even if by accident, and if it was accident he would be naturally
|apologetic I assume…) and I don’t appreciate him expecting me to be a
|robot lady who doesn’t yawn. It’s literally a reflex. And then he can
|express why he’s ignoring you. Then you decide together if it’s time to
|unite the team again or to find other players 🤷♀️
|u/deadkate - 15 hours
|
|"Life is long and gross." ❤️
|u/AverageHeathen - 15 hours
|
|This belongs in wedding vows lol
|u/a_chance_word - 7 hours
|
|I hope I remember this when I finally sit down to write them. My
|partner has been so good about the gross.
|u/jimbolic - 5 hours
|
|Genuinely here to say: That's cute, endearing and loving!
|u/Alfred-Register7379 - 16 hours
|
|Nta. This is manipulation. The fact that he will easily resort to
|violence, if you don't do as he says....is a big red flag.
|u/MintChucclatechip - 13 hours
|
|I know a nudge seems small and not that serious to some but at the
|end of the day he still hurt her. His willingness to do that plus the
|fact that “he doesn’t know his own strength” sounds like a recipe for
|disaster.
|u/niki2184 - 2 hours
|
|And she’s delulu if she believes he doesn’t know his own strength
|cause I promise he does
|u/Tricky_Ad6392 - 17 hours
|
|has he always been like this and you \*still\* said yes...? girl...
|u/Automatic_Pilot_6676 - 15 hours
|
|So many people are just out here agreeing to spend the rest of their
|lives with partners that don’t even like them. Crazy
|u/OneMooseManyMeese_ - 10 hours
|
|This is sadly what my older sister did. She stayed with a man that
|cheated on her multiple times and said yes when he proposed. Us
|family was so frustrated on why she wouldn't leave him. We didn't
|want her to hate us so we stopped talking about it. Didn't last a
|month though before she finally had the courage to leave. She told
|me years later, he emotionally abused her and she felt that nobody
|else would want her so she stuck with him. She was always wanted
|someone to love her and didn't want to be alone. She is a very
|anxious person and feels bad about herself constantly.
|u/Rock_Strongo - 8 hours
|
|Almost everyone is so desperate to be in a relationship that they
|put up with damn near anything. It's sad.
|u/NoMembership7974 - 16 hours
|
|After you describe some controlling, semi-abusive behavior, you go on
|to say he’s not abusive. He needs to check his main-character attitude
|and realize that you are also a character in your house.
|u/Odd-Rule9601 - 17 hours
|
|You need to drop him. STAT. Get rid of that toxic bullshit. What a
|weird thing for him to fixate on…
|u/Lotus-petal-path - 13 hours
|
|and physically hurt her over it...
|u/unrepentantbanshee - 13 hours
|
|>Keep in mind I'm roughly 100lbs smaller than him, he's like 6'5" and
|pure muscle, I don't think he realizes his strength. You mentioned in
|a comment that he's in his 30s. So he's lived in his body for three
|decades. And if he's "pure muscle", there's no way he's just naturally
|that strong - he either works out, or he has a very physical job. He
|does know his own strength. And if him hitting you with his elbow
|"really hurt", it wasn't just a nudge. He put force behind it on
|purpose if it caused you pain. You didn't overreact. Him having to get
|up to retrieve a blanket isn't on the same level as forcefully elbowing
|you twice to cause pain. I also saw in the comments that you are very
|certain that he doesn't act controlling in other ways, and that this is
|limited very specifically to yawning. I think you do need to have a
|serious talk with him, about how it's inappropriate for him to
|physically correct you for normal bodily functions. He owes you an
|apology for deliberately elbowing you that hard twice. If it's that he
|does have misophonia, then he needs to take responsibility for it. He
|needs to learn some coping mechanisms that aren't physically punishing
|you. If he really isn't a controlling asshole, then he should be
|willing to do the work on his own. You can mention to him that you
|suspect this, and then leave it to him to find solutions. If his
|solution is "you aren't allowed to yawn because I have this condition",
|then that says something which you need to really think about. If he
|genuinely apologizes and then works to finds ways to manage his
|misophonia reaction, then your instinct is right that he's actually a
|good guy and this will be OK.
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 12 hours
|
|Thanks, this is actually helpful.
|u/ResidentRelevant13 - 11 hours
|
|Does he elbow his mom, his boss, a baby in a stroller, strangers at
|the gym who yawn? Or just you?
|u/wildflower_34 - 7 hours
|
|THIS!!!
|u/Personal_Tackle8238 - 4 hours
|
|Great question. Incisive. All the people getting all "this is
|violent and abusive" in their language aren't hitting the mark
|like you are.
|u/Medium-Fudge459 - 9 hours
|
|I really hope you take this comment to heart. I feel like the
|shitty comments are making you excuse him more or become defensive.
|We don’t know your relationship but it was clearly not on accident
|or just a reaction. He physically harmed you on purpose wether you
|want to admit it or not.
|u/MurielFinster - 8 hours
|
|I absolutely HATE when I can hear someone yawn. My mother and my
|husband will both yawn loudly and occasionally shout or like
|fucking yodel yawn and it makes me want to throw something as hard
|as I can at them in the moment. I’m getting angry just thinking
|about it. I hate it so, so much. But I’ve never done that, because
|it’s not okay to do. It’s not okay to hurt people because I’m
|annoyed and may fleetingly feel like I want to. Your fiancé
|controls himself around other people, he needs to do the same with
|you. A conversation needs to be had here. If he knew you were
|yawning with your back to him, I’m assuming you’re making noise? A
|conversation is definitely warranted. I hope he’s willing to engage
|in it!
|u/Anonposterqa - 8 hours
|
|Don’t give him the misophonia idea. If he has that he should be
|able to describe it even if he doesn’t know the name. If he is
|abusive, he could just pretend to have it, if he hears you mention
|it, he could run with it. It can be hard to imagine that someone
|else could lie and be hurtful, if you yourself wouldn’t do that.
|u/Mr_HandSmall - 3 hours
|
|Yeah I definitely wouldn't be providing someone with excuses
|after they elbowed me twice in the fucking spine.
|u/beeerite - 3 hours
|
|He might be abusive and you don’t realize it or it doesn’t appear
|abusive to you because it’s your normal, like the frog slowly
|boiled alive. This isn’t okay. I also fear what he’d do if y’all
|had a kid. His threshold for dealing with think he doesn’t like is
|very low. Please talk to someone you trust and who values you.
|This relationship seems very toxic. Leaving someone you have
|planned a life with and whose life is tangled with yours (living
|together) probably makes change very daunting but you have worth.
|You’re allowed to think this is not okay because it is not okay.
|u/niki2184 - 2 hours
|
|I just wanna know two things. How did he know you were yawning when
|in bed. And does he do this to other people he’s close too? It’s
|just you huh??? Let that sink in really deep. Don’t be naive he
|absolutely knows his strengths.
|u/lolagoetz_bs - 11 hours
|
|Just reading the word yawn caused me to do so several times!!
|u/haleorshine - 11 hours
|
|This response is perfect: I hate "he doesn't know his own strength"
|as a defence, because that's something you say about toddlers or
|dogs. If a grown man is hurting people because he doesn't know his
|own strength, he has to do something about it. I will say, and I
|think you probably agree, judging by the tone of your comment, it's
|probably not misophonia. He's not saying OP shouldn't yawn because he
|hates the sound or whatever, he's saying she shouldn't because it's
|not ladylike. He wants her to control an uncontrollable physical
|reaction because she's a woman but he can do it because he's a man.
|Personally, anybody telling me I shouldn't do something because it's
|not ladylike is going to get a serve from me about how I'm not a lady
|and they can fuck right off, but his physically hurting her for an
|involuntary action on her part? Yeah, I would have yelled him awake
|so I can tell him how much he needs to fuck right off and I wouldn't
|have accepted him not apologising.
|u/AlphabetSoup51 - 16 hours
|
|“Don’t be human. It’s not ladylike.” “Should I stay with my bf?”
|Girl. No.
|u/GremlinLurker777_ - 12 hours
|
|I was GOING to say wait does your husband have misophonia and maybe you
|should check it out, but "not ladylike" is so weird and gross. He
|might have misophonia and he's trying to rationalize it, but any man
|who jumps to blaming you instead of trying to figure out what's
|actually going on is a dick
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 12 hours
|
|Yeah, I am starting to think it might be that too, but it doesn't
|justify him making it into a me issue when this is clearly a him
|issue.
|u/Saxamaphooone - 9 hours
|
|Even if he has misophonia, he’s also a sexist ass and that’s an
|even bigger issue. Not “ladylike”? You’re a human being, not a
|decorative object or appliance. Before you marry him (especially
|before you have kids if that’s the plan), make sure he’s not the
|“men don’t do that” type when it comes to housework and child
|rearing, otherwise you’re setting yourself up to be a married
|single mother.
|u/GremlinLurker777_ - 8 hours
|
|Yeah I'm kinda side eyeing the part where OP says he's perfectly
|fine otherwise? Bc where tf did that "ladylike" bs come from lol
|u/GremlinLurker777_ - 12 hours
|
|Exactly! No offense but can confirm that hubby is being a real
|asshole about a natural human function. I have misophonia and as a
|kid I would get so mad at my mom but now I know it's not her fault.
|I get a big fight or flight reaction when she speaks, but
|ultimately it's about me. Just diabolical. Plenty of folks w
|misophonia who don't blame their partners. Has he at least
|apologized?
|u/GCM005476 - 8 hours
|
|I have misophonia (my parents actually approached me about because
|they thought I have it). As an adult, it’s on me to control it. I
|have to adjust my own behavior. He is trying to make you mange
|his issues. That’s not what an adult does.
|u/kigurumibiblestudies - 7 hours
|
|Does he elbow his friends when they yawn? Or just his female
|friends? Or is it only you?
|u/hunnyflash - 5 hours
|
|It doesn't fucking matter. Oh my god. You know what. I absolutely
|CANT STAND the sound of people chewing. So I remove myself from the
|situation or ask them to chew with their mouths shut. Because the
|vast majority of people on planet earth can eat food without making
|a huge bunch of noise. But even so, I know that if someone is
|eating something noisy and I don't like it, I don't get to just be
|annoyed at them. That's stupid. I don't care if you do have
|"misophonia". A yawn should not make you that annoyed. It's a yawn.
|Unless someone is making some huge gesture and loud noise from
|yawning, who cares if you don't like it. Get over it! Stop making
|excuses for him being a fucking asshole.
|u/-Honey_Lemon- - 8 hours
|
|What happens when he yawns?
|u/PoochyLo_94 - 16 hours
|
|Women are simply not allowed to exist anymore without men having a
|problem with it. Dump his ass. The sooner these men aren’t allowed to
|procreate the better.
|u/chuckisagirl - 16 hours
|
|I have misphonia, and certain sounds trigger me and make me feel awful.
|I know it doesn't make sense but certain noises (like chewing,
|heavy/wet breathing and also yawning) make me feel enraged, and give me
|the irrational thought that the person is doing it intentionally to
|upset me. But because I know this is a me problem, I don't make it
|anyone else's problem. I put in headphones or earplugs, or I walk away
|so I can't hear it. I've had discussions with significant others about
|it, and if they can accommodate me, that's great. But when they don't
|or can't, I know it isn't going to work out. As an adult person in
|charge of my feelings, I would never complain to someone about any of
|these sounds, tell them it's rude or to stop, or especially "nudge" or
|otherwise physically try to stop them. Your fiancée is a gigantic
|child and he needs to figure his shit out because making a normal noise
|that humans make every day shouldn't give him the right to do anything
|rude or hurtful to you. I understand your reaction and may have reacted
|even more severely in the same situation. But I also wouldn't be with
|someone who was willing to be that rude to me about a normal bodily
|function.
|u/juniper_berry_crunch - 15 hours
|
|*As an adult person in charge of my feelings...* I wish that for one
|day everyone on earth had to begin at least one sentence with this
|phrase. We could call it "As an Adult Person In Charge of My Feelings
|Day." A girl can dream.
|u/squishyvegan - 15 hours
|
|Came here to say this, I have BAD misophonia around heavy breathing
|and snoring, my husband has sleep apnea. I wear earplugs or if it
|really bothers me, I go to another room to regulate, lol. I
|certainly don’t elbow people in the spine for having normal bodily
|functions. He needs to manage his own sensitivities.
|u/juniper_berry_crunch - 14 hours
|
|My husband's snoring was driving me insane. I bought him one of
|those foam wedge pillows and it **WORKED.** I thought I'd try it
|before trying (probably unsuccessfully) to ask him to consider a
|CPAP. I liked it so much I got one for me, too. I swear it
|worked, 100%, for something I thought would cause serious
|problems. It was around $30. Maybe worth trying? They're comfy,
|too.
|u/squishyvegan - 12 hours
|
|Omg, possible game changer, I’ll have to check that out, thank
|you!!!
|u/xAkumu - 12 hours
|
|He might not be aware he has misophonia and aware of what and why
|it's happening and goes into flight or fight, not saying it's an
|excuse obviously, he shouldn't ever hurt people. To OP: therapy
|might do him some good to help him manage it though! I would
|recommend it to him.
|u/kigurumibiblestudies - 7 hours
|
|I doubt it's miso because the guy says "it's not ladylike". I bet my
|pc the guy isn't doing this to his male friends.
|u/chuckisagirl - 7 hours
|
|Honestly, good point. But people with misophonia can also
|rationalize what they hate about sounds. Either way, this dude is
|severely heinous.
|u/Foreign-Ship8635 - 6 hours
|
|Yep I’m glad someone noticed this is miso. I have misophonia pretty
|bad and yawning is absolutely my worst trigger. I fly into a complete
|rage. I know it’s irrational but there’s nothing I can do to convince
|myself of that in the moment. But physical violence just isn’t an
|acceptable reaction.
|u/kryskulll - 5 hours
|
|For me, before I had in “under control” I wanted to lash out and make
|the other person feel the anguish/torture they were making me feel.
|So messed up but truly how I felt.
|u/Ok_System_5724 - 3 hours
|
|That one second of rage overrides everything in the moment; it is
|like fight or flight. Except this is someone you love and you can’t
|flee from bed so you suppress it and clamp a pillow to your head. But
|the sound is repetitive and you still hear it and it brings you
|intense physical discomfort and you’re trapped there, physically
|trembling a bit thinking why am I like this. I am an adult in command
|of my feelings but I can’t make this stop. If I boop my partner away
|there’s instant physical relief but also immense guilt after.
|Sometimes I think separate bedrooms are a way better option if there
|weren’t the stigma
|u/Initial-Can-9659 - 17 hours
|
|Why do women get engaged to men like this
|u/EmployeeVarious7462 - 13 hours
|
|Because 9/10 they’re the sweetest best guy you could imagine until
|they have you where they know you won’t leave and then they show you
|who they really are
|u/Soggy_Virus2116 - 9 hours
|
|Can confirm. Ex husband didn't reveal his complex PTSD and
|psychosis till after we were married. I would have liked to have
|known earlier. Also had weird ideas about what being a wife
|meant. Wasn't clear until after marriage he said what i wanted to
|hear and I was a prize, not a team mate. Hard and scary man to
|leave.
|u/preposterouspoophole - 7 hours
|
|People always say afterwards that there were signs which they
|ignored, love is blind unfortunately.
|u/sheissonotso - 17 hours
|
|That’s what I’m saying. I thought I had daddy issues, but damn.
|u/tatianaoftheeast - 6 hours
|
|Why are men so misogynistic?
|u/TueboEmu315 - 17 hours
|
|Wrong. Why do men have such misogynistic views. Don't victim blame.
|u/VeridicalVagabond - 16 hours
|
|It's not victim blaming to suggest that maybe some women need to
|dig their bar up from the earth's core and raise it a bit.
|u/FantasticBurt - 14 hours
|
|Seriously, This is unacceptable behavior no matter the gender.
|A man should not accept this behavior from his partner either.
|But OP was just wondering why it’s so common that women continue
|to accept behavior that is openly controlling and misogynistic.
|We do *currently* still live in a day and age where a woman has a
|choice of who to be with and it is confusing, as a woman myself,
|why women continue to put up with this behavior.
|u/hanginfromtheceiling - 15 hours
|
|It's not misogyny to say to raise the fucking bar. We say the
|same things to guys who have crazy girlfriends.
|u/PomeloFull4400 - 17 hours
|
|I don't think gender has anything to do with it. If he slept every
|night in the same bed for a decade with a guy that did the same
|things he'd act the same way or worse. Not like he'd be all
|sunshine and rainbows if it was a dude He's just a selfish toxic
|person.
|u/bloodsuckingzombie - 16 hours
|
|But he specifically said it's "not lady like" so it must have
|something to do with OPs gender
|u/Assessedthreatlevel - 16 hours
|
|Tell him it’s unmanly to sneeze and see what he thinks
|u/Poinsettia917 - 15 hours
|
| NOR There’s something more going on here. He sounds borderline
|abusive.
|u/SpiderByt3s - 17 hours
|
|By all means marry him and see what he's really like once you're
|"trapped" The fuck is this post? Yawns are an involuntary bodily
|response. Which means your fiance is also fucking dumb.
|u/workshop_prompts - 15 hours
|
|Right… I really wonder how things will look for OP once they’re
|married and even moreso when she’s pregnant/has a baby. Men like this
|always seem to wait till then for the full reveal.
|u/the-mare-bear - 13 hours
|
|Yeah she’s *under-reacting*. She needs to run.
|u/R3DSH0X - 14 hours
|
|Missed the chance to call him also involuntarily fucking dumb
|u/Blobasaurusrexa - 16 hours
|
|NTA What did he do when his momma yawned?
|u/MajorasKitten - 15 hours
|
|Drop kick her, *obviously*.
|u/Sloblock777 - 15 hours
|
|Masturbated, probably. He sounds like a complete fucking weirdo.
|u/-Firestar- - 8 hours
|
|Or his coworkers or his boss.
|u/Gin_n_Tonic_with_Dog - 16 hours
|
|I have misophonia so utterly detest the sound of people chewing, and it
|makes me angry. But I know it’s my problem to fix. Even if your yawning
|is triggering him as much as someone chewing crunchy food right by my
|ear would trigger me, he still isn’t behaving OK. You are not over-
|reacting in any way, shape or form.
|u/VelMoryx - 12 hours
|
|once dated someone who tried to control small things about me, and it
|only got worse. It's not just about yawning; it's a sign of deeper
|issues. You deserve respect and understanding in a relationship. Trust
|your instincts and prioritize your well-being.
|u/Mindless_Pumpkin_511 - 16 hours
|
|I really don’t understand why people settle for this behavior. Why
|would you marry someone who physically hurts you or tries to for a
|natural bodily function such as yawning. Definitely NOR but I feel you
|should really consider if you want to marry that person. What happens
|when he deems another perfectly normal bodily function gross or “not
|ladylike” just nuts to me. Your fiancé sucks
|u/sth420 - 17 hours
|
|NOR! Normal bodyfinction and definetly misogynistic, as has been said.
|Doesn't he yawn himself? What the hell is 'rude' about yawning, or
|unfeminine?? Also, he should know he can hurt you. "I had my eyemask
|on" is not an excuse whatsoever for hurting you. What if he 'nudged'
|you on the nose?
|u/woodland-strawberry - 13 hours
|
|I'm assuming that he justifies his right to yawn because he's not a
|woman so he doesn't have to be "ladylike". He's assigned gender roles
|to yawning and it's bizarre.
|u/teaspoonsdotexe - 16 hours
|
|I’m honestly scared for you if your male partner does not tolerate
|yawning… What if you throw up in front of him? Get incredibly ill? Is
|he going to take care of you? What if you get in a serious accident
|and need his help changing, bathing, getting around? Will he be too
|disgusted to help you with childbirth? Will he disbelieve the
|hardship and pain of pregnancy and birth? Can you frankly discuss your
|menstrual and reproductive health? What if it is impacted by illness?
|Men like this will NOT stick around when real life gets too yucky and
|challenges them to treat women as people.
|u/Sloblock777 - 15 hours
|
|Elbowing a woman for yawning and claiming to know more about what is
|"ladylike" than said woman is psycho behaviour. He has big problems.
|NTA.
|u/welmanshirezeo - 8 hours
|
|I had an ex that thought it was hilarious to put her fingers in my
|mouth when I yawned. You don't realise how much dopamine a yawn
|releases until someone interrupts them so often. I mentioned that it
|was funny the first few times, but quickly becoming irritating. She
|thought it was cute or something. I couldn't believe I legitimately had
|to sit down with her and have a conversation that her ruining my yawns
|was becoming a deal breaker.
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 8 hours
|
|I had an ex who did that too, it's the most annoying feeling ever
|omg. I kept telling him it's not funny, but he still did it EVERY
|FREAKING TIME. Eventually, I just started biting his fingers really
|hard when he did it, and he stopped. But it took me about a year to
|be able to yawn normally again.
|u/Chris_O_Matic - 11 hours
|
|Maybe you need to start farting a lot
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 11 hours
|
|I'm laughing so hard at this... Bring me the beans!
|u/Chris_O_Matic - 10 hours
|
|Hey a few well placed farts will make yawning seem not so bad.
|u/Head_Bed1250 - 9 hours
|
|My dude do you want to be married to a guy who loudly complains about
|your body performing a natural action? NO dump his ass.
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 9 hours
|
|Yeah, actually, the loud complaining and shaming is a lot more
|annoying than my almost silent yawns, never thought of it that way.
|He even gets annoyed when I yawn with my mouth closed, which just
|blows my mind because I'm not even getting a chance to yawn all the
|way, and it just makes me yawn MORE because I can't get it out.
|u/Fabulous-Display-570 - 8 hours
|
|Your bf is wild…
|u/Head_Bed1250 - 6 hours
|
|Seriously, was he raised by hillbillies in a swamp? “WOMINZ DON
|YAAAWWWWNNNN DAZ A MAAAANS THANNG ASK BUBBA”
|u/Head_Bed1250 - 6 hours
|
|Yeah yawns are contagious. I used to have yawn competitions with my
|cat. It’s LITERALLY unavoidable. Get rid of him.
|u/mohksinatsi - 1 hour
|
|It's because it's not about the yawn. It's about control. He's
|told you not to yawn. It doesn't matter if you cover your mouth,
|close your mouth, or yawn while visiting family three state away
|from him. He doesn't actually care about yawning as much as he
|cares that he told you to do something, and you're not doing it.
|It doesn't matter that what he told you is impossible. The point is
|to keep you in line.
|u/VelZerina - 12 hours
|
|once dated someone who controlled small things like that, and it only
|got worse. It's not just about the yawn—it's about respect. Think hard
|if this is what you want for your future. You deserve someone who
|appreciates you as you are.
|u/BoogieScoobie - 17 hours
|
|Why would you want to marry someone like that? He sounds like an idiot
|and controlling over something that can’t be controlled. No you didn’t
|over react. You’re under reacting if you stay with someone just for the
|sake of saying you’ve got a fiancé/husband.
|u/ItaliaEyez - 17 hours
|
|This is beyond weird. You really don't want to see how he acts when you
|are married and yawn.
|u/Hoodsfi68 - 15 hours
|
|This is so true. He’s on his best behaviour at the moment.
|u/Diff4rent1 - 15 hours
|
|In OPs defence . He did ask her to marry him and that’s what really
|matters and she’s already said she’s trying really hard not to yawn
|and he could have some medical condition that causes him to react to
|yawning and so she should be understanding and he’s perfect in every
|way oh he doesn’t know own strength when he hurts and she’s confident
|he will change and become more perfect and she blames herself for the
|misogynistic comment coz she is the other gender and it was important
|for her to consider that she could be overreacting. Girl If you
|draw a line in the sand and a guy jumps over the line you don’t draw
|another line
|u/Historical-Path-3345 - 17 hours
|
|Tell him that he is a brave man to wear a sleeping mask after doing
|that to you.
|u/BeatnikMonarch - 15 hours
|
|And how masculine is a sleeping mask?
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 12 hours
|
|It's purple satin too. 🤣
|u/lovelyladylox - 10 hours
|
|This was sending me over.
|u/FinanciallySecure9 - 17 hours
|
|NOR This is a red flag. I also ignored it when my ex said it to me. He
|also thought yawns should be completely silent. Then we had a baby (I
|admitted I ignored red flags) and the baby, infant, two months old,
|yawned, making noise. My point was proven, and I never heard another
|word about it.
|u/Moonfallthefox - 11 hours
|
|My dogs sometimes squeak when they yawn, it's NORMAL. I think it's
|cute when my dogs do it.. and I sure don't mind when my partner does
|either...
|u/Grylldcheese - 17 hours
|
|Getting mad at someone yawning is soooo weird
|u/Spiritual_Maybe_8904 - 17 hours
|
|How could he even tell you were yawning?
|u/Right-Papaya7743 - 14 hours
|
|This was my question. Unless she’s really, really loud about it? I
|am assuming it’s a C-pap machine; those can block out a lot of noise.
|u/Spiritual_Maybe_8904 - 13 hours
|
|Right? Does she shake the earth. I know some people are dramatic
|yawners but it’s quite rare. 😆
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 12 hours
|
|He gets triggered by the inhale noise. He gets triggered even if I
|exhale the yawn silently through my nose.
|u/ginger_ryn - 9 hours
|
|this man is a controlling asshole
|u/curlyquinn02 - 17 hours
|
|He if says that's it unladylike to yawn; just think of everything else
|he will hate once you are married and have children (if you want them)
|u/plsimjustalittleguy - 16 hours
|
|not overreacting… your fiancé is a freak and loser
|u/KawaiiQueen92 - 16 hours
|
|He is abusive though. He elbowed you in the spine and harmed you
|because you yawned. How is that not physically abusive?
|u/RocketCat921 - 14 hours
|
|Fr, that last paragraph is ridiculous. What was the point of the
|post if OP is already defending the idiot?
|u/Wrong_Confection6959 - 13 hours
|
|That’s what I said. Well why’d you even come on here & ask if you
|already have the excuses locked & loaded?? How’d you get engaged to
|somebody who makes a big deal about you yawning ??
|u/Glad_Diamond_2103 - 17 hours
|
|Nope, not or. Who hates yawning, by the way.
|u/Fabulous-Gas1136 - 16 hours
|
|Why are you with someone who gets mad at your for existing
|u/kayakjones - 16 hours
|
|Do you want to be micromanaged and controlled like this for the rest of
|your life? Please don’t marry this guy, he’s already trying to control
|your body doing something natural. It’s not gonna stop there. Someone
|making you chronically feel uncomfortable about a natural body function
|is not a good partner.
|u/Accomplished_Dig2391 - 16 hours
|
|You can’t be a human around him??
|u/Any-Fly793 - 17 hours
|
|Not lady liked to yawn? What the actual fuck???
|u/SpiritualKick7833 - 16 hours
|
|girl, how on earth did you end up engaged to someone who thinks women
|shouldn't yawn? dick game must be good or he's rich. i have a feeling
|you'll say it's neither
|u/Daisies_specialcats - 16 hours
|
|Do you want to get married that much? At what point do you say my
|fiance treats me horribly for yawning but I want to be legally
|connected to him for the rest of my life. Isn't yawning involuntary
|like sneezing. I literally yawned while reading this. Seeing my cats
|yawn makes me yawn. It's a reflex. He's a jerk. It's only going to get
|worse.
|u/tlmz99 - 16 hours
|
|NOR, my abusive step-dad used to say this. I wasn't aloud to yawn, lick
|my lips or sneeze out loud. Never even tried farting. You need to
|reevaluate this relationship and look for other obvious red flags.
|Natural human noises are no reason to strike somebody.
|u/LessLikelyTo - 16 hours
|
|NOR - fuck this guy. If he’s willing to physically hurt you, and hurt
|your feelings, over a physical reaction you cannot co trip, what’s
|next?
|u/robinhuntermoon - 8 hours
|
|does HE yawn??? anyway i would dip right now. even if it's small he's
|getting physical with you over a bodily function you cannot help, then
|lecturing you about it. that's too weird for me
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 7 hours
|
|The weird thing is, not really! I can only ever recall him yawning
|twice total, once in the beginning of the relationship, after I
|yawned, he yawned and then made a comment about me making him yawn
|and I said it was cute. Then later on, maybe a couple weeks ago, he
|just got done complaining about one of my yawns, and like 3 minutes
|later he yawned, and I was like "SEE, you yawn too! You can't
|complain about my yawns." and he didn't seem amused. He hasn't
|yawned in front of me since, which is so WEIRD. I don't know if he's
|suppressing it or what? Or maybe I'm just not noticing it because
|I'm... fucking normal, I guess?
|u/robinhuntermoon - 7 hours
|
|idk what started this complex of his lol but you might be better
|off around people who let you have a human body without jabbing at
|you
|u/LovinClover - 5 hours
|
|Yawns are contagious, too. Is he afraid that you yawning might make
|him yawn and then he ll be rude and unladylike? Or is it OK for him to
|Yawn? What a dipshit. I would have my eyes trained so hard for his
|next yawn then elbow his stupid ass as I walk out on him.
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 4 hours
|
|I'm just laughing at the unladylike thing. I'm going to ask him next
|time.
|u/LovinClover - 4 hours
|
|I totally would. Find an article or something that proves yawns
|are contagious. There are so many. Then berate him about how he's
|so scared of being unladylike that he'll deny his own bodily
|functions to be most ladylike woman in y'alls place. Ask him if
|he's thinking about a sex change. I would have so much fun with
|that before leaving his sorry ass.
|u/selkiesart - 16 hours
|
|INFO - and I know I will be downvoted for this, but what do you mean by
|"yawning"? I dumped an ex for yawning obnoxiously loud and sounding
|like a tortured moose because he damn near gave me a heart attack
|every time he yawned. As long as I am awake it's just a minor
|annoyance, but he kept waking me up by yell-yawning every morning.
|So... if you yawn normally, N T A. If you sound like a dying walrus,
|N A H
|u/Miserable_Credit_402 - 13 hours
|
|Elbowing her in the back is out of line no matter what. If it bothers
|him that much he shouldn't have asked her to marry him. But yeah, my
|first thought was "this woman probably scream yawns"
|u/Jossur13 - 14 hours
|
|This was my question. She said he had on a sleep mask and she was
|facing away from him. So it’s not the action/facial movement of the
|yawn itself that’s bothering him, there’s more to this than OP is
|telling us.
|u/lawfox32 - 13 hours
|
|Unless he's trying to train/reprimand her out of yawning, so it
|doesn't matter if he sees it--he doesn't want her doing it at
|*all*. So he hears her yawn and elbows her to reprimand her. And if
|it was really about the action/facial movement genuinely bothering
|him, it wouldn't be gendered-- he'd be annoyed by men yawning too.
|u/Old_Operation_2864 - 9 hours
|
|Yeah. I wondered if anyone would ask for clarification. It’s actually
|possible to yawn with one’s mouth closed. I have a relative who may
|sound like your ex. The worst of it for me is on a car ride when I am
|the driver. A long road trip when the person beside you is mouth wide
|open yawning with sound effects is obnoxious. Sleepy 😴
|u/chloe38 - 17 hours
|
|I had a brief relationship with a guy years ago that hated when I
|yawned too. He would get so pissed and tell me to stop that! But I also
|for some reason make a big production of it when I yawn. I always have
|and no one else ever said anything about it. Sorry but your boyfriend
|is a dick.
|u/DorothyZbornakk - 16 hours
|
|he knows what’s lady like? girl what. save yourself.
|u/Morti_Macabre - 16 hours
|
|Hello????
|u/Purple_Luck_3827 - 16 hours
|
|Yawning isn’t ladylike? It’s a normal occurrence. Is it ok for him to
|yawn? I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone like
|this.
|u/Ok_Comedian_5827 - 16 hours
|
|I wonder what he will be like during a pregnancy (if you want kids),
|because a lot of things happen then….and you can’t help it either
|u/HatpinFeminist - 16 hours
|
|How tall is he? I need to know how long to dig the hole.
|u/Fifyfufun - 16 hours
|
|NO, no over reaction! Even if he suffers from Misophonia, its his
|responsibility to accept that other people yawn, and je needs to work
|to get past his issue. Yes as a partner/spouse, you should make an
|attempt to be considerate, but your not a robot, pet, or property! He
|must also work be to considerate to you! If he doesn't suffer from
|something like Misophonia, and simply doesn't like the fact that your a
|human with uncontrollable, unavoidable, nessisary, HUMAN bodily
|behavior. Its still on him to accept other people yawn, fart, sneeze,
|etc (including you!) Either he can show you respect and understand,
|especially since your considerate to his issue... or he won't, and
|luckily you found out about this toxic part of his personality before
|you married him.
|u/Bubbly-Anxiety9132 - 15 hours
|
|You can do better OP. Dodge the bullet.
|u/External-Air-7272 - 3 hours
|
|Tell your pituitary case cro-magnon man to fuck off, and the next time
|he elbows you take a sledgehammer to his balls.
|u/Nottthatserious - 17 hours
|
|Sounds like an ass
|u/Local_Cookie3313 - 16 hours
|
|If he doesn’t yawn when you yawn then he might be a psychopath.
|https://www.businessinsider.com/psychopaths-dont-catch-yawns-2018-10
|u/karen_in_nh_2012 - 12 hours
|
|Hmmm ... yawning is contagious among NORMAL people, you know? (Lots of
|research on this.) So maybe he doesn't like you yawning in front of
|him because he is NOT one of those normal people who would then yawn
|himself. Rather, he's a sociopath. Yeah, ugh. He's being a jerk,
|sociopath or not.
|u/zoe_reads - 12 hours
|
|Yeah no, you’re NOR. I yawn when other people yawn and I yawned about a
|dozen times reading this and idk why. It’s not something you can really
|help.
|u/noobchee - 12 hours
|
|Your dating a fucking weirdo, yawning is natural
|u/InsidiousDefeat - 7 hours
|
|Other than agreeing with everyone he is a whole toolshed, you should do
|what I do to my cat to bug her when she yawns. Stick your finger in
|his mouth and back out. Come up with whatever reason. "That is kind of
|effeminate" is my suggestion given his fragility.
|u/RiceFriskyMeats - 7 hours
|
|Does he not ever yawn??
|u/autisticbulldozer - 17 hours
|
|at first i was wondering if you yawn loudly, bc my husband yawns loudly
|and it’s one of those sounds that are so loud for no reason that it
|does annoy me sometimes, but i know he’s not doing anything wrong by
|yawning and i never say anything to him about it bc i know im the one
|with the noise issues but then i kept reading, and i think those are
|dumb reasons to list as why someone shouldn’t yawn. of course a yawn is
|gonna sound lazy. it’s the sound we make when we are tired 😂 so i don’t
|blame you for getting annoyed after getting an elbow jab to the spine.
|whoever told him yawning is not lady like was an idiot, and so is he
|for saying that out loud and seeing nothing wrong with it 😂
|u/protectbugs - 16 hours
|
|NOR. Reaction is not cool from your fiancé. Any chance your fiancé has
|misophonia? It’s a disorder, an extreme uncontrollable reaction to
|noises. I have it and have a difficult time when hearing noises like
|gum chewing, smacking, etc. Maybe it would be good to look into like a
|cognitive behavioral therapist to check him out though. Or you could
|try looking into the misophonia Reddit community for coping methods.
|u/Ok_Blackberry_284 - 16 hours
|
|Why are you with this guy? Seriously, he's a fool. Do better, OP.
|u/Prairie_Crab - 16 hours
|
|NOR. It’s “lazy-sounding?” You were literally both still in bed! What
|a jerk! Tell him you fart, too, and blow your nose and bleed every
|month. Good lord. The main thing I’d emphasize is that he’s not to
|touch you in anger or annoyance, EVER AGAIN.
|u/markw30 - 16 hours
|
|We know who and what this guy is once she said he’s solid muscle. He’s
|clearly a lug
|u/stretchytaco - 15 hours
|
|NOR. okay, listen. he has a sensory issue and for some reason that
|probably started in his childhood, the sound of someone yawning causes
|tension in his body, likely due to a past trauma that he might be
|completely unaware of. this tension is felt as anger, and instead of
|regulating his own emotions, he is trying to control his environment by
|placing blame. i have had a similar thing in the past about the sound
|of someone coughing. it affected me, my mental health, and my
|relationships for YEARS. i recognized the irrationality of getting
|angry at someone about a bodily function, yet i still couldn’t help it.
|HAVE HIM SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP. he can heal this and learn emotional
|regulation techniques that (IF HE CARES ABOUT YOU AND YOUR
|RELATIONSHIP) he will employ when you yawn. it will be challenging for
|him but over time he will not get bothered by your yawning. if he
|doesn’t want to get professional help or DO THE WORK to heal this
|within him, then he is simply not your person, as he doesn’t care about
|the relationship enough to try to fix something that is causing a
|serious problem.
|u/Simple_Bowler_7091 - 14 hours
|
|NOR. Yawning is usually an involuntary action, but sometimes can be a
|sympathetic/empathetic reaction to others yawning. It can be
|contagious. Does he ever yawn in response to your yawns? I ask
|because the only people who don't yawn in sympathetic response are
|sociopaths. Sociopaths are great at mimicking and mirroring basic
|social interactions. Yawning in response to other's yawns is one of the
|only things they can't do because it's an empathetic response and they
|lack empathy. Your describing your BF as "perfect" in every other way,
|*except for this one wholly unreasonable and irrational thing*. This
|*one thing* that is so bizarre you would almost feel foolish for
|questioning the entire relationship over it. Despite the fact that it
|is an irrational and unreasonable ask by him and damn near impossible
|for you to comply with. Since you **can't** physiologically comply
|this now puts you in conflict with his unreasonable request. Now it's
|escalated to him physically punishing you for not complying. **You are
|overlooking that he got physical with you because, after all, he's
|*instructed you* not to yawn.** **OP do you see how he is setting it
|up to be *your* fault he got physical with you? Do you see the
|conditioning going on here?** You need to quietly back away slowly. If
|you can't up and leave this second, you really need to get your ducks
|lined up to leave and put some space between you.
|u/koanundrum - 14 hours
|
|I don’t know. Sounds like you both are overreacting. My husband doesn’t
|like when I yawn. I don’t get it, and I sometimes snap at him when he
|complains. I don’t think that gets a relationship anywhere. I think
|there’s room to have a real conversation. He shouldn’t hurt you. You
|can tell him that it hurt you. He will likely get defensive, but just
|be quietly firm that he hurt you. Then discuss how to deal with his
|reaction to your yawning. Is there any chance you can show that you are
|really listening to him about whatever is bothering him. Show an effort
|to try to understand where he’s coming from? “I’m sorry my yawning
|bothers you. I hear what you are saying.” It’s likely that being
|gentle, interested, validating his feelings and having an easy manner
|will defuse things, and perhaps he will be more reasonable about how he
|reacts when you yawn.
|u/SessionLast5480 - 14 hours
|
|>And no, he's never hit me, yelled at me, nor is he physically or
|verbally abusive. Um... >He then nudged me twice with his elbow, as
|a reaction to my yawning. It was right on my spine, and it really
|hurt! I would beg to differ that an elbow to the spine isn't
|physically abusive. >Every time I yawn, he either nudges me lightly
|and groans or verbally exclaims out loud negatively. He's told me not
|to yawn, that it's not "lady like" and is lazy sounding and rude. And,
|how is this not verbally abusive? Your involuntary body functions are
|not something you should be belittled about. I think you're under
|reacting. I'd be out!
|u/Due_Seesaw_2816 - 13 hours
|
|Your first sentence indicates the actual problem. Something is wrong,
|and you don’t know what/why. Start there. Ask him about it.. then
|figure out what you should do about the rest and how to react
|u/ju5tincredible2 - 13 hours
|
|A man should never hit his woman no matter the circumstance
|u/teufelshunde_usmc - 12 hours
|
|Next time he yawns tell him it’s not very masculine and kind of a turn
|off.
|u/dogstar2019 - 11 hours
|
|NOR. In all actuality, yawning is a sign that you are not getting
|enough oxygen and it is your body’s way of forcing you to open that pie
|hole and take a big breath! Your fiance is way off in his assumption
|as to why you are yawning. I’m not even sure how yawning became a
|universal sign of disinterest or boredom, and therefore a negative
|connotation. 🤷♂️ Not sure what to say about your relationship, but I
|think he needs to chill. I think it’s cute when my wife or kids yawn.
|u/Manic_Behaviour - 10 hours
|
|He may have Misophonia which is the hatred of certain sounds & if
|that’s the case, he absolutely needs to get therapy. You are a human
|who will yawn for the rest of your life. The way he handles it is
|absolutely awful and disgusting.
|u/Gettinjiggywithit509 - 10 hours
|
|This is someone you are seriously considering spending the rest of your
|life with? Because if the thought is "well I can always get divorced,"
|it's doomed from the start. Not saying that is whay your thought
|process is, but it's a common one these days. He is going to have to
|learn to get really comfortable with a ton of things that "aren't
|ladylike" if he has any intentions of staying married. Either that, or
|this is a big red flag and wouldn't be surprising at all if despite not
|being abusive in any way now, that switch flips once he knows you two
|are legally bound to eachother. As much as it sounds like the plot to a
|movie, that shit is VERY real.
|u/Competitive_Sleep_21 - 10 hours
|
|You are not overreacting but why are you engaged to such a weird
|person. If he has a job or a social life he is obviously around others
|who yawn. Why does he abuse you? Because he can. He needs therapy to
|work on why yawning would bother him and you need therapy to understand
|why you would stay in such a toxic relationship.
|u/Hour-Look2032 - 9 hours
|
|It’s a normal bodily function to yawn. Fetuses yawn in the womb.
|Puppies and cats yawn. Why does he dislike yawning?
|u/Capital_Device_9422 - 9 hours
|
|Flick him in the dick when he sneezes and tell him it’s unmanly to
|sneeze.
|u/WoahSimitri - 9 hours
|
|your fiance is a baby. dump him
|u/eckliptic - 9 hours
|
|You realize this is physical abuse right? He’s inflicting physical pain
|onto you
|u/msbabyjr - 9 hours
|
|Imagine your husband hating the sound of you yawning 🥺
|u/Vivid-Farm6291 - 9 hours
|
|Are you allowed to fart? Have a poo that smells? You know because
|‘ladies smell like flowers’ This would be ultimatum time, elbow me
|again and you get a foot to the groin as a farewell package.
|u/AnnaE75 - 9 hours
|
|NOR your fiancé is a misogynistic AH.
|u/rtimbers - 9 hours
|
|Any man who gets physical over anything including a "yawn" is a walking
|red flag. Fk that guy
|u/LUVSUMTNA - 9 hours
|
|🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 you mean your ex fiancee right!!
|u/ResponsibleCourt3494 - 9 hours
|
|Don’t marry him.
|u/Background-Eye778 - 9 hours
|
|Are you serious? Yawning isn't lady like? Come on y'all. The bar is in
|the center of the Earth. Tell your boyfriend to read a book. Yawning is
|a common response to your brain not receiving enough oxygen. It's
|human. If he wants a robot, tell him to hit up Elon.
|u/Record_LP2234 - 9 hours
|
|I can think of many more "unladylike" things other than just basically
|living your life, but curious - if he's wearing a sleep mask, how does
|he know you yawned?
|u/QfromP - 9 hours
|
|You yawn because your body needs an extra boost of oxygen. It's a
|completely natural and unavoidable bodily function. Unless you are
|bellowing "AHHHH-WAH-WAH-WAH" with your jaw hanging around your ankles
|while you yawn in a crowded restaurant, then your fiance is being
|weirdly controlling. I have to know. Does he ever yawn in front of
|you? If so, you have my permission to punch him in the kisser every
|time he does.
|u/KarmaFarma_69 - 9 hours
|
|Ever saw the scene where the old couple is sitting at the kitchen
|table, old man with the paper and the old lady with her tea. The lady
|coughs quietly and the old man Slams the paper down on the table
|leering at his wife In a rage. Thats the future you'll have with this
|grown man, who can't stand your bodily noise. Does it sound like
|somewhere you'd wanna be.? Best of luck.
|u/Standard-Dust-4075 - 9 hours
|
|He's controlling, and he did mean to hurt you. He will escalate. There
|are many form of abuse OP. You need to decide your next step.
|u/Mental-Fox-9449 - 8 hours
|
|Take it from someone who had his life ruined by an exteme
|borderline/narcisist who slowing found something to complain about
|EVERY little thing for 5 years of marriage and 5 years of divorce… tell
|this person the same thing I told my ex “Of this bothers you so much
|I’m sorry to inform you that your standards are SO out of control and
|not in reality that you’ll be alone forever.”
|u/sgvmyma - 7 hours
|
|Me struggling to read this without yawning multiple times 🥱😂
|u/just_scrollin11 - 7 hours
|
|I’m a woman and I’ve probably yawned 3 times from continuously reading
|“yawn” 😭 he would hate me fr
|u/Ok-Wheel-3999 - 7 hours
|
|I just yawned too. Good thing I'm a real man and it's okay to do so!!!
|u/VandaGrey - 7 hours
|
|yawning is natural...he wants you to stop doing a natural act. Please
|tell me he is no longer your fiancé.
|u/SomewherePenguins - 6 hours
|
|I've never had an issue with my wife yawning. She has FARTED on me, and
|I just tickled her for it. Your man is looking for a Kung Fu partner it
|seems.
|u/Ryan_D_Lion - 6 hours
|
|So this is the guy you're going to marry? Best of luck on your next
|marriage.
|u/MargotSoda - 6 hours
|
|Not ladylike? That’s some weird Andrew Tate shit.
|u/tmb8220 - 6 hours
|
|Yawn all day long.
|u/Living-Sprinkles5317 - 6 hours
|
|Misophonia
|u/Beautiful-Ear6964 - 3 hours
|
|Not overreacting. In an admittedly impulsive act, I left my husband
|because he tossed our electric toothbrush on me while I was sleeping
|and it hit my ankle bone and really fucking hurt. It’s not a fun way to
|wake and pissed me off so much I said it was over. He was mad I hadn’t
|removed the toothbrush head when I last used it. It was the last straw
|for me honestly, he picked on every little mistake I made and would
|give me the silent treatment for it. He was a neat freak (with
|diagnosed OCD) and i was a messy person back then (we were in our mid
|20s.) Regardless of our respective flaws, No one should have to live
|with someone who is annoyed with them all the time. No regrets.
|u/Glizzygawdjesus - 3 hours
|
|If anyone ever told me I'm not lady-like for yawning, I would fart on
|them. 😏 How's that for "not lady-like"? You aren't overreacting. He
|is.
|u/FieryLady42 - 3 hours
|
|My Dad was like that. We had to leave the room if we were going to
|yawn, hiccup, blow our nose, sniffle, pass gas, burp.... on pain of,
|well, pain (hard smack to the back of the head and the bitchiest
|bitchface from him for the rest of the day). As an adult I learned
|that it can be a thing for some people, certain sounds being unbearable
|(misophonia, iirc). A common thing among people that are neuro-
|divergent. Doesn't excuse the physical punishment aspect, though.
|FFS, it is a normal human body thing. He needs to get real about
|things that are just normal things. Maybe he has some kind of unhappy
|history with yawns? If it truly is that he feels it isn't "lady like"
|then I recommend a long talk with a possible outcome of cutting him
|loose. Because all body things are Human things, and if he cannot deal
|with you being a human, then he doesn't deserve having you as his
|"Lady" ... like it or not.
|u/HeatherReadsReddit - 3 hours
|
|Not overreacting. He physically hurt you for having a natural
|biological function. He calls you negative names for having that
|function. Please find a couples counselor to evaluate whether or not
|he’s being controlling and abusive, and you’re just making excuses for
|him. Do know that there’s a chance that his negative and controlling
|behavior will escalate if you marry him. My 6’4” ex - to my at best
|5’1.5” - escalated once we moved in together. I still have dizzy spells
|decades later from where he hit me in the head. Does your fiancé
|“let” you work and have friends, or does he think that ladies aren’t
|supposed to be employed outside of the home, or be social? Please take
|a hard look at your relationship, and reevaluate whether you want to be
|with someone who won’t even “allow” you be a regular biological human.
|Also ask your doctor to send you for a sleep study if you don’t know
|why you constantly yawn. I found out that I have bad obstructive sleep
|apnea and never knew it. I wish you well.
|u/SeaGoatGamerGirl - 3 hours
|
|WTF?!?! So my husband is 6'4 and over 300 lbs of muscle. He's also
|covered in hair. Our whole family works at a PNW theme park that deals
|with a lot of Sasquatch related things. So I've always called him my
|Sasquatch. My husband screams when he yawns. If he is right next to you
|it hurts your ears. I've told him repeatedly that you don't have to
|scream when you yawn but he does anyway. So now I just refer to it as
|the call of the Sasquatch or the Sasquatch is ready to hibernate. But I
|don't yell at him for scream yawning. If I were you, I would eat egg
|salad sandwiches, chili, and a bunch of veggies, then crawl in bed with
|your husband. When you feel the urge to rip ass pretend to yawn. When
|he nudges you for yawning rip the longest and loudest you can. Then
|tell him all human bodies work the same and he's an idiot for thinking
|natural reactions are unladylike.
|u/WholeAd2742 - 3 hours
|
|Dude physically assaulting you is not acceptable, period. And his
|laughable anger over a natural body reaction is immature and asimine.
|Why are you still there?
|u/NoPrinterJust_Fax - 2 hours
|
|Your partner has misophonia. It’s not very well understood.
|u/BRpessimist - 16 hours
|
|Have you heard of misophonia? Maybe he has a certain sensitivity to
|this kind of stuff and it pisses him off at a primal level. He
|shouldn’t be elbowing you though, at all.
|u/Upset_Taste_9309 - 9 hours
|
|Sounds like you’re making excuses for how he treats you
|u/Klingh0ffer - 16 hours
|
|Just a question. Do you yawn silently, or with a lot of sound? My
|cousin always yawns with a loud «HOI» at the end, and it infuriates me.
|If the former, your boyfriend is a psycho. If the latter - stop.
|u/Any-Effective2565 - 16 hours
|
|I don't make any vocalizations when I yawn, it's just air going in
|and out. I'm starting to wonder if maybe he was with a loud,
|obnoxious yawner in the past and grew to hate yawning because of it?
|Otherwise, I just don't get it. Nobody has ever complained about my
|yawns. I too am slightly annoyed by the exaggerative
|"HYEEEEAAAAAAWWWWN, SMACK SMACK SMACK" yawners too, and can agree
|it's rude in some settings, but I've never done this and don't know
|why my quiet yawns annoy him so much!
|u/Vespertinelove - 12 hours
|
|You said he was wearing a sleeping mask and you must have been
|turned away from him as well, because he nudged your spine. How
|then, did he hear you yawn if you do it silently? Not trying to
|be hurtful or anything…it just didn’t make sense to me.
|u/sadgloop - 8 hours
|
|People hear sighs, and a quiet yawn would be about on par with
|that. It’s just a greater amount of air being inhaled and
|exhaled.
|u/knoguera - 15 hours
|
|Ok I was gonna ask this too about whether you obnoxiously yawn or
|not. Obviously you don’t if you aren’t even making a sound so this
|is super weird of him. Have you asked him why he is so mad by it?
|u/Klingh0ffer - 15 hours
|
|Then no, you aren’t overreacting. He needs to get a grip, unless he
|wants to live alone for the rest of his life.
|u/QuitProfessional5437 - 16 hours
|
|There are some yawns that are obnoxious. Like those loud over the top
|ones. Like the ahhhhhhh. Ohhhhh. Smack smack ones. If that's how you
|yawn, then I get why he would get annoyed. But if it's just a quiet
|yawn, then he's being dramatic.
|u/mallionaire7 - 16 hours
|
|He gets mad at you for yawning (a normal thing every human being and
|plenty of animals do) and you agreed to marry this guy?
|u/GhostHin - 16 hours
|
|After reading all these talk about yawning and now I want to yawn......
|NOR. He it's just a dick, a stupid one at that because yawning is
|invalentory so there is nothing you can do to stop it.
|u/MandyMariie - 16 hours
|
|I don't think there's an excuse for his actions at all. But maybe he
|has misophonia and the yawns are like a triggering sound for him? I
|have misophonia and I get extremely triggered by snoring and other
|mouth sounds. It's a really annoying thing to deal with because I
|literally cannot help but feel a certain way when hearing these sounds.
|I just have to navigate around them and sometimes deal with them.
|Again, I don't think it's an excuse but maybe it's a reason but is
|still definitely something he needs to stop reacting that way to.
|u/RightConversation461 - 16 hours
|
|Is he 12? Or just a prick.
|u/Teets__McGee - 16 hours
|
|Does he not yawn? He’s probably a serial killer.
|u/Szilvia79 - 16 hours
|
|NOR Yawning sounds lazy like? WTF?! What would he say if you were
|sick and can't get up? That you are lazy? Imagine you have kids one
|day. What happens when they yawn? Get an albow in their spines, too?
|