Transcript: EastEnders - 22 Dec 1994 The Television Transcript Project
<http://www.oocities.org/tvtranscripts/index.htm>
*/EastEnders <http://www.oocities.org/tvtranscripts/eastenders/index.htm>/*
*Written by:* Christopher Reason
22 Dec 1994




British air date: Thursday, 22 Dec 1994. This is episode #111 in the
second numbering series (after the first 952 episodes). Transcript of
the *previous* episode (the previous Tuesday)
<http://www.oocities.org/tvtranscripts/eastenders/ee110.htm>

    *Synopsis:* Matt shows up, unannounced, on the square. Ricky starts
    paying rent and Sanjay bets the money on a horse. The Butchers and
    Jacksons confusedly agree on who's hosting for Christmas. Cindy
    wonders: what does "love" mean. Gita sees herself in a new light:
    Miss Too-Perfect. David does two good turns. Fun at the Vic. 

Directed by Geoff Feld.

In Cockney English, "cheers" and "ta" each mean thank you. "Ta ta" means
good-bye and "cheers" can also be a good-bye. A "punter" is a customer.
A "quid" is a pound (money). "Sod it" means "screw it/damn it/forget
it." "Blimey!" is an expression of surprise. To "slag" someone off is to
insult or abuse them. (Note: "eh" is usually pronounced "Ay," like the
name of the letter A, especially when at end of a sentence/question. Eh?)

Speech in braces {} is unclear. I tried my best, but, especially with
Bianca, it can be hard to work out what people are saying sometimes.

CHELLE = MICHELLE = CHELLE
NIGE = NIGEL = NIGE
NAT = NATALIE = NAT

About 50 scenes.

23 characters: NIGEL, DEBS, RICKY, SANJAY, GITA, MARK, MATT, CINDY,
PAULINE, IAN, NATALIE, BIANCA, CAROL, ALAN, PAT, SHARON, MICHELLE,
STEVE, GRANT, DAVID, JANINE, ARTHUR, and TRACY. Cast list
<http://www.oocities.org/tvtranscripts/eastenders/cast.htm> (cast.htm 3K)

When I printed this, it took 35 pages.

Transcribed <http://www.oocities.org/tvtranscripts/howto.htm> via
microcassette and copious notes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[*/EastEnders/ Intro* with theme music (time: 00:27). Intro theme: Save
music
<http://www.oocities.org/tvtranscripts/eastenders/eastenderstheme.mp3>
(417kb mp3).]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Morning. NIGEL and DEBS come out of their place, happily going
downstairs and onto the street.]

NIGEL
[singing] "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
Oh, what fun it is to ride"--Don't ya just love it? One time o' the year
when you can be a kid again.

You know, the best Christmas /I/ ever had, was in, ahhh--

DEBS
1963. New policeman's outfit. Red pedal car, an' Auntie {Hill's dancing
on the} coffee table.

NIGEL
God, I'm so boring..

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[A bus had come into the square. Who comes out? MATT. He's looking in
his address book.]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[RICKY's walking happily through street and past a bunch of child
carollers who are at the garden end of the market. He heads to Sanjay's
stall. SANJAY's wearing a Santa cap. (The CAROLLERS are singing, "God
rest ye merry gentlemen..")]

RICKY
Sanjay!?
[arrives at the stall] All right?
Here you go. Fifty quid rent. All right?

SANJAY
Cheers.
Ricky. You--you sure you can af/ford/ this?

RICKY
What's got into you--of /course/ I can afford it! I'm payin' rent for
/my/ flat like people are sup/pos/ed to!

Oh, as soon as you can, rent book, yeah?
[businesslike, as he leaves] Cheers, mate.

[GITA comes up, in a good mood.]

GITA
You're looking very thoughtful.

SANJAY
Was I?

GITA
Yeah! And now you're looking guilty. What have you done?

SANJAY
I haven't done anything. Look--what /is/ this?

GITA
It's a /joke,/ Sanjay.

SANJAY
What d'you /want,/ anyway?

GITA
It's about Christmas Day: you /are/ going to spend it with us, aren't you?

SANJAY
Oh, am I?

GITA
Well, I /assum/ed that's what you'd /want/ to do.

SANJAY
Well, maybe you assume too much.

GITA
Sanjay, don't be like that! I thought we'd got everything sorted out,
that we were friends!

SANJAY
What makes you so sure I /want/ to be friends? What makes you even think
I want to spend Christmas Day with you, eh? I might have made other
arrangements!

GITA
Have you?
Oh, Sanjay. /Why/ are you making such a big issue out of this? I just
thought you'd /want/ to spend Christmas Day with your daughter!

SANJAY
I would /love/ to spend Christmas Day with my /daught/er. It's /you/ I'm
worried about.

GITA
[quiet] Sometimes you can be really hurtful, you know?

SANJAY
Gita; I'm sorry. Look--I'll be there, all right?

GITA
Good.

SANJAY
Gita. I /need/ you to look after the stall for me for a bit. [takes off
his apron]

GITA
What?

SANJAY
You're not the only one that can do a /deal,/ you know. [puts Santa cap
on her head] There you go.

GITA
But Sanjay! I'm not--

SANJAY
[over her words as he leaves] See ya later.

GITA
--off 'til this afternoon!

SANJAY
[over his shoulder] Yeah--do it as a friend.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Briefly at Mark's stall, MATT comes up as MARK finishes with a CUSTOMER.]

MARK
Merry Christmas.

MAN
Merry Christmas. [leaves]

MARK
Yes, mate?

MATT
Albert Square?

MARK
You're in it.

MATT
Cheers. [leaves]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[GITA at her stall. Sees MATT, who doesn't see her. She recognizes him
and has added things up fast--concerned look.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[At Cindy's and Ian's, in their hallway next to the stairs that go down,
PAULINE and CINDY are talking. STEVEN is running around. IAN's in the
background, sitting at the desk.]

CINDY
Don't I even get a kiss good/bye,/ Steven?

PAULINE
Too excited about seeing Santa.

CINDY
[amused/charmed sound]

PAULINE
Now you wait by the front door, Steven. Don't go running out into the road.

CINDY
Oh, I really appreciate this.

PAULINE
It's no bother; I'm taking Martin an' Vicky anyway, so one more's no
bother, /is/ it? Anyway. I'll bring 'im back about lunchtime 'cause
Carol's swappin' with me, okay?

CINDY
Right. {Well, even more, he's brilliant.} [giving PAULINE money]

PAULINE
Oh, there's no need for that. Go on.

CINDY
Oh, go on! It all mounts up!

PAULINE
No!

IAN
[has just walked over] Thanks, Auntie Pauline.

PAULINE
All right. A pleasure.

[EVERYONE exchanges goodbyes. Then PAULINE and STEVEN leave.]

IAN
[semi-wistful, amused] It's funny.

CINDY
What is?

IAN
Well uh--just remembered a day I'd completely forgotten. It was me dad
takin' me to see Santa. Eh! Ended up gettin' a clip 'round the ear!

CINDY
Why was that?

IAN
I wouldn't sit on Santa's knee--I was /scared/ of 'im. Me old man lost
his patience with me. I couldn't o' been more than four years old.

[phone rings, IAN gets it.]

IAN
'Ello?
Hello?

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Outside, the phone booth, MATT hangs up. Is broodingly looking around.
He's absently looking at the wall when his eye falls on a notice in
there. "Lovely Models," on pink paper. A siren's wailing nearby. MATT
leaves the phone booth and looks at Cindy's and Ian's house from there.]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The Cafe. NAT's working. SANJAY's looking at a list of horses in races
in a newspaper or magazine. BIANCA walks in. She's got an orange scarf
on and an ugly long, silver ski jacket. Pop music is on the Cafe's radio.]

NAT
All right?

BIANCA
You like it? Christmas present.

NAT
Who to?

BIANCA
Me!

NAT
W'ya get Ricky?

BIANCA
Mm. "What to get the man who's got everything," eh?

NAT
Uh. Bianca?

BIANCA
What?

NAT
You know that Christmas Day you an' Ricky's goin' to have? Is it still on?

BIANCA
Oh! What a cock up! First it's supposed to be at Pat Butcher's house,
/then/ me mum's sayin' she wants to have it at /her/ place! An' I'm the
one who's supposed to /tell/ her! I mean it's not /fair/ though, is it,
Nat. If she won't {bluth it}, she should've {choos-she}!

NAT
Uhm.

BIANCA
[stops] What?

NAT
Only I..

BIANCA
Only what?

NAT
Just I don't know where I'm going.

BIANCA
What a lucky girl; make the most of it.
What, you stuck with your dad an' the wicked witch? You're mum's all
{down on} what's his face, I suppose. {Just bought or spot him in} his
short trousers!

Look--why don't you come over--over to our place, spend it with us, eh?
It'll be a laugh!

NAT
Not if it's at Pat Butcher's; I hardly know her.

BIANCA
But it /won't/ be at Pat Butcher's, will it?

NAT
But you said--

BIANCA
Yeah, well! Don't mean /every/thing I say--shouldn't /listen/ to me! Can
I have some toast an' a cup of coffee?

NAT
[heading to a table with a sandwich] Yeah, I'll do it--I just gotta--

BIANCA
Here, I'll do it. [takes the sandwich over to SANJAY, who's got his eyes
closed, and his pen poised in the air high over the list] What you /doin'?/

SANJAY
[brings down the pen and opens eyes] Trusting in God.

BIANCA
Mm.

[Close-up of the form and pen, which is on "Mr. Caplin." SANJAY
underlines it.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[In the Jacksons' kitchen. CAROL's got cleaning supplies on the table
and is instructing ALAN to clean the kitchen.]

CAROL
An' not just the bits that you can see.

ALAN
This is /so/ stupid.

CAROL
Mm! An' you need to clean the inside of the oven as well.

ALAN
We're cookin' a /turkey/ on Sunday! What's the point in cleanin' it if
we're gonna do it all over again come Monday?

CAROL
Now, this floor: you don't just use water on it. You use this stuff,
uh--I'd leave it 'til last. An' for God's sake don't stand on it.
Listen: close that kitchen door an' keep the kids out altogether.

ALAN
[has been frustrated, sighing through that, puts down a cleanser she
handed him] Why're we trying to impress the Butchers?

CAROL
Listen. When Pat Butcher comes around on Christmas Day, she'll have her
/snout/ in everything. Now, if she spots a little bit of dirt it'll be
all around Walford before the end of the Queen's speech. I'm not gonna
give her the pleasure!

ALAN
Why're we a/shamed/ of ourselves--I mean, you know, we should show
ourselves just as we are--I mean--none of this /fancy/ stuff.

CAROL
[light, amused little laugh] I like it Alan. I /liiike/ it! But it
doesn't get you out of cleanin' the kitchen. [back to business, getting
a list and money out of purse]

All right: I need you to make a start on the shopping, there's the
/list,/ ah, here's a tenner. All right. I better get going; I'm covering
for Pauline, I'm gonna be late.

ALAN
It's not like Pat Butcher's the Queen Mother.

CAROL
[stops at door and turns around] No?
[leaning on door frame] Listen Alan. I need this to work for all sorts
of reasons. [breathes in] I know it's gonna be hard for ya. For me? For
Bianca?

ALAN
[calmly decides for a second] Yeah, all right.

CAROL
[quiet, nice] Thanks Alan. Cheers. [leaves]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[PAT at Mark's busy stall. MARK's wearing a Santa cap.]

PAT
Oh. You can sling another--couple packs of them dates an' nuts, an'--

PUNTER
I'll have another {bag of that, too.}

MARK
[to PAT] Got your work cut out, haven't you? Who you got comin' over?

PAT
The Jacksons.

MARK
Oh, "Season of Good Will." Very nice.
You'll be wantin' your mistletoe. [reaches for it]

PAT
No, I don't think so.

MARK
Go on; it's free.

PAT
Just the change!

MARK
Goes with every order over ten quid.
Now that's gonna be, one, two, three, that's gonna be 11.50, please, Pat.

PAT
Oh, well.

MARK
The dates an' what not, you know.

PAT
Yeah, okay. Change it. There you go.

MARK
Smashing! There you go.

PAT
Ta.

MARK
Happy Christmas.

PAT
An' you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The Vic--not open yet. STEVE's working and SHARON's hanging the
mistletoe when someone comes knocking at the door.]

SHARON
Hang on!
[gets down, goes over, opens door]
Oh--'ello, Chelle!

CHELLE
What you up to?

SHARON
Oh, a new mistletoe. People swipe it. Uh, Steve, could you open up?

STEVE
Yup.

SHARON
[meaning herself] Make some coffee, eh?

CHELLE
Yeah--look--Sharon, I've..
I think I've done something really stupid.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Ian's and Cindy's living room. IAN's working at the desk. CINDY's with
baby Peter, who's fussing. She's walking around talking to the baby,
half the time.]

CINDY
Sh! Sh! Daddy's working! {I can take your fruits and veg or something.}

IAN
It's all right! I don't mind!

CINDY
Come on, let's look out the window, /shall/ we? Look can we see any
/birdies./ [goes to window. MATT's out in the road gesturing up a
questioning/upset shrug. Peter's still fussing.] Um. You gonna be
/long?/ I--I can take him to the /park./ Maybe, he just wants a bit of
fresh air.

IAN
It's all right! I don't /mind!/ I'm only gonna /be/ another half hour or
so, anyway. Ah, I could murder a coffee; do you want one--

CINDY
[hastily] I'll make it.

IAN
No, it's all right! You stay /there!/ You got /enough/ on your plate.

[With Peter, who's still fussing, CINDY goes back to window. Matt's gone.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Upstairs in the Vic, the living room. SHARON sitting on couch. CHELLE
in chair, feeling self questioning, apologetic.]

SHARON
So what's this "stupid thing" you've done?

CHELLE
[long pause] I went to see Phil. At his Mum's.
I was just tryin' to /help./ I--I thought, with Grant being such a
/bas/tard, if Phil was to have a word, then maybe [stops]

SHARON
[pause] What did he say?

CHELLE
[pause] Not a lot.

SHARON
No?

CHELLE
No, I. I don't think he was particularly pleased to see me.

SHARON
Well; did he ask about me?
Well, come on, he must have said /some/thing.

CHELLE
[pause] To tell you the truth, he said, he didn't think it was anything
to do with him. I'm sorry.

SHARON
I see. So he's not going to say anything. [footsteps are coming]

GRANT
[pokes his head in the doorway] Uh. You recordin' this conversation?
Just so I'll know. [leaves]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[At the betting shop, SANJAY's finished filling a form and goes to the
counter, where DEBS is working. Background: an announcer dryly listing
the odds. (A careful listen: "ten to one Mr. Caplin," is heard right
after SANJAY mentions tax.)]

SANJAY
There you go.

DEBS
All right, uh, Mr. Caplin to win, yeah?

SANJAY
[reaching for wallet] Yeah, I'll pay the tax up front, right.

DEBS
You sure you can af/ford/ this Sanjay?

SANJAY
Ah. Sometimes, Debbie, you get a gift from heaven. You should make use
of that gift in the best way you know how.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[A distracted broody MATT in the gardens sees IAN leave the house. MATT
gets up, heading to the house.]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[MARK's stall--ALAN's buying a bunch of veggies. Another PUNTER is
there, too.]

MARK
Here. /Here:/ what's all this for, /any/way? I thought you were goin'
over the Butchers' this Christmas.

ALAN
Well, they're comin' to us.

MARK
Well, I think you'd better tell Pat Butcher that! She was here buyin' up
half the stall not half an hour ago. She reckons you're goin' to her!

ALAN
You what?

MARK
[amused/reassuring] Straight up!

[ALAN leaves with stuff.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[IAN walks up to GITA's stall, looks over stuff, while asking.]

IAN
When you gonna get something /new/ in your stall?

GITA
Um. This afternoon.

IAN
Um. Shame; it's gonna be too /late/ by then. Cindy thinks I'm, uh, goin'
down to the /Coun/cil's. I'm not. Actually I'm goin' out an' buyin' a
Christmas present. And, uh, unfortunately, it's not gonna be from /you./

Hey, how /are/ you, then?

GITA
Eh?

IAN
Your /tooth/ache, remember. You know the other day when you were swimming?

GITA
Oh, /yeah./ Um. I'm fine now, thanks.

IAN
All right. Look, I'll see you later.

[IAN takes off. GITA looks like she doesn't like the implication--Cindy
must by lying to him, leaving GITA in that sort of exchange.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Exterior: CINDY opening the front door. Camera widens view: it's MATT
at her door.]

CINDY
[defensive] How did you get my address?

MATT
I needed to see you.

CINDY
[sighs] Better come in.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Launderette. CAROL's working and ALAN's talking to her.]

ALAN
Look, I don't mind doin' the kitchen, but if /Pat/ Butcher's doin' the
cookin', then /let/ her!

[confidentially] I spent /ten quid/ on vegetables this morning! We can't
afford it, Carol--as much as anything.

CAROL
Look: Bianca's my daughter. Now I--I invited /her,/ her boyfriend, an'
his family, over for Christmas dinner. It's the /kind/ of thing normal
people do. I don't want to spoil everything.

ALAN
Let me have a word with Pat Butcher. You know, you won't spoil nothink--

CAROL
Look: I don't want Pat Butcher to think I'm worming me way out of it.
Like we're, paupers or something.

ALAN
She don't even know you've /of/fered! I mean, how can she think you're
/worming/ your way out of it?!

[leaving] Look. I'll have a word with Ricky, all right?

CAROL
Look, if you've got this wrong Alan--

ALAN
Trust me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[At Cindy's and Ian's, upstairs in the living room. CINDY's standing, a
bit impatient, beyond her scope. MATT's sitting on a chair, distracted
with anxiety.]

CINDY
[exasperated sigh] Listen Matt [sigh] --

MATT
What?

CINDY
I don't think this is a very good idea.

MATT
Well, what isn't.

CINDY
Well, you /bein'/ here!
Look, I--I think you'd better go. I'm sorry.

MATT
Why?

CINDY
[exasperated exhale] Loo--I've got two kids /asleep/ in the other room!

The swimming pool's one thing, but in my own living room!

MATT
I'm not here 'cause of that!
There's things I need to say.

CINDY
Well--puh--can't they wait for another time?

MATT
Oh, no, they can't!
I can't stop /thinkin'/ about you, see? An--an' ever since /seein'/ you
with, with your /hus/band the other day, all I can see is you an' him
to/gether,/ all the /time/--it's drivin' me /nuts!--/

CINDY
You always /knew/ I was /mar/ried!

MATT
You see: I think I've fallen in love with you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[At Bianca's and Ricky's. RICKY's in foreground sitting on bed eating
from a plate on his lap. BIANCA is back by the desk.]

RICKY
But we agreed this morning you'd tell your Mum it was around /Pat's!--/

BIANCA
Well I've changed me /mind!/

RICKY
W--What--'cause you want /Natalie/ to spend Christmas with us?

BIANCA
No, /not/ just because of that. My mum wanted to /do/ it, we should
/let/ her!

RICKY
What's wrong with her /own family?!/

BIANCA
Have you /met/ the Munsters?

RICKY
Oh, I don't /want/ her to come--she gets on me /nerves!/ It'll be
"boyfriend this," "boyfriend that"--

BIANCA
/No/ it won't!

RICKY
How d' /you/ know?!

BIANCA
'Cause it /won't!/ All right? [has got up, comes over to stand by him]
[quiet] She fancies you, d'you know that?

RICKY
Really.

BIANCA
Yeah; she told me all about it.

RICKY
When was this then?

BIANCA
[laughs, giggly] Did you be/lieve/ me? [giggle] You should see your face.

RICKY
Uh, you can't go around changing arrangements just 'cause you feel like
it, Bianca.

BIANCA
Well it would be a bit silly to change 'em if I /didn't/ feel like it,
/wouldn't/ it!

RICKY
Yeah, well you should have asked me /first!!!/

[leaving] Look, it's at /Pat's/ an' that's final, all right?

BIANCA
Ricky! Don't! Come /back!?!/

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Exterior view of that house, RICKY goes out door and down stairs.
ALAN's on the street, sees him.]

ALAN
Ricky!
Just the man. I was hoping to see you.

RICKY
Look, I can't stop, Alan.

ALAN
Just one thing: I'm right in thinking Christmas is at your mum's, yeah?

RICKY
Yeah.

ALAN
Is that a /def/inite, is it?

RICKY
Yeah, that's a definite.

ALAN
[has stopped, is smiling, as RICKY rushes on] Good.
That's all I needed to know. [very happy]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The betting shop. SANJAY's looking at his pile of money with NIGEL.
They're at the counter and DEBS is on the other side, by the camera/us.]

NIGEL
[awed/amazed] Bli-mey!

SANJAY
Beats /workin',/ eh, Nige? Hee, hee.

NIGEL
So, ah, how'd you go about pickin' a winner, then, Sanj?
[sees DEBS looking at him like, "no"]
I'll withdraw that question.

SANJAY
[hands her a bill] {Here} Debs, buy yourself a drink.
Now, I suppose I'd better go an' do some Christmas shopping before I put
it all in the next race. [heading out] See you later, {make it}.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[MATT and CINDY. He's still in the same mode on the chair. Now she's
sitting on the couch.]

CINDY
Look, Matt. You say you love me. Well, I'm telling you now, you don't!
When someone says they love you, it means you've got something you want
or need. Believe me. I know. [has got agitated]

MATT
Oh, I /see./ You make a habit out o' this sort of thing, do you?

CINDY
Look, it was only meant to be a bit of fun.

MATT
Do I /look/ like I'm havin' /fun?!/ So, accordin' to /you,/ this has all
just been a bit of a /giggle,/ right?

CINDY
Ah, I think you'd better go: my little boy's gonna be back soon--

MATT
Well it wasn't a giggle to /me!/ So, what? I'm just one o' /many?/ Do
you {want marks} out o' /ten?!/

CINDY
No! Of /course/ not!

MATT
Oh! So I'm the first, am I?
Well?!

CINDY
[pause] Look. When you're a bit older--

MATT
[gets up and shouts in anger] Don't /pat/ronize me!!

CINDY
--you'll look back on this, an' you'll see hhow funny it's been.

MATT
[heads out, turns at door, angrily shouts] You know there is a /word/
for women like you!!!!

[One of the babies is crying from the other room as Matt leaves the
house. Next, the door slam of his leaving. Baby continues /crying/ as
CINDY takes in what's just gone on.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[On street, BIANCA and DAVID briefly come across each other walking.
He's headed for the pay phone.]

BIANCA
All right?

DAVID
Oh, hi.

BIANCA
{That's a first, eh?}

DAVID
Oh, it's nothing, Bianca. It's just the phone's on the blink.

BIANCA
Would you be really annoyed if I was just {?? payin' for?}

DAVID
No, I don't suppose so. Uh. Wait an' let me buy you a drink, at the Vic.

[They head for the Vic.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[MATT comes out the door and down the stairs with a mean scowl on his
face. Goes into the phone booth. He takes that notice, writes something
on it and puts it back up, still scowling, and leaves.]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[MARK's stall. ALAN's returning the stuff he bought.]

MARK
[betrayed] I've gotta put it all /back?/

ALAN
Sorry mate: change of /plan./ Not needed now.

[as MARK's taking stuff] Can I have me tenner back?

[MARK reluctantly will.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[GITA at the stall. SANJAY comes up with a shopping bag. He's in good
calm spirits and she soon gets /very/ testy.]

SANJAY
All right?

GITA
Where've you been.

SANJAY
[taking things out of bag] If we're gonna /spend/ Christmas together,
let's do it properly, yeah? [one of the things is a hair band with
antlers on it]

GITA
You left me here all morning so you could go Christmas shopping?

SANJAY
Yeah.

GITA
Where'd you get the money from, Sanjay?--I mean, I spend my life here,
slogging my guts out an' you go around spending the money on God knows what!

SANJAY
I got presents for you an' Sharamila!

GITA
Sanjay, you /do not/ go around spending money from the business whenever
you /feel/ like it, all right!?!

SANJAY
Who said--who said it's money from the business? Gita you know you
really are a /pain/ sometimes. It's /Christ/mas! An' you got /no right/
to /nag/ me about what I spend money on. It's not as if we're /living/
together anymore, /is/ it?

GITA
We are business partners, Sanjay. An' business partners do /not/ go
around spending money from the business without con/sult/ing each other
about it--

SANJAY
That money had nothing to /do/ with the business!!

GITA
Oh, yeah?! So where'd it come from? Santa /Claus?/

SANJAY
I /won/ it! On an 'orse! An, you know /what?/ It felt Great.

Huh, that shut you up.

GITA
Well, that's nothing to be proud of Sanjay. In fact you should be
a/sham/ed of yourself.

SANJAY
[still very irritated] Yeah, Gita, tell me: why did you /marry/ me if
I'm such an awful person?

GITA
I wish I knew--

SANJAY
Well, what did your /mouth/ do for exercise before it had /me/ to slag
off, eh?

Gita, I'm /not/ your whipping boy /any/ more! I /quit/ the day I moved out!

GITA
Sanjay! I--

SANJAY
Oh, clear off! I've got to do the stall. An', as for Christmas, who in
their /right mind/ would want to spend Christmas Day with a miserable
old /bag/ like you?!!

GITA
[looks hurt like something's struck home]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The Vic. DAVID and BIANCA in a booth.]

DAVID
So now, let me get this straight. You wanted to have a Christmas at
/your/ house, uh?

BIANCA
Yeah, it ain't just 'cause o' Natalie. It would just be nice for me mum
to get her own way for once.

DAVID
An' you want /me/ to have a word with /my/ mum to get her to agree, right?

BIANCA
Yeah--/would/ you, David?

DAVID
Consider it done.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Different booth, the next one over, MICHELLE with PAULINE.]

CHELLE
Look, Mum, I'm sorry if I snapped at you in the launderette. I just
can't stand people being slagged off behind their backs.

PAULINE
What /else/ would people around here do if they didn't do that?

CHELLE
You don't know the half of what's gone on. You shouldn't judge unless
you know the whole story.

PAULINE
What's the whole /stor/y?

CHELLE
Whatever Sharon's done, she doesn't deserve this.

PAULINE
All right. All right. I'm sorry. Listen, I've gotta go.
[stands] Um. You are coming to us Christmas Day, aren't you?

CHELLE
I didn't know I was in/vi/ted.

PAULINE
Oh, of /course/ you are--/an'/ Geoff, too, if he wants.

CHELLE
No, he's spending it with his kids, isn't he.

PAULINE
Oh, /that's/ a shame.
/You'll/ still come, eh?

CHELLE
Yes.

PAULINE
All right, then: see you. [leaves]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[As PAULINE leaves the Vic, RICKY comes in.]

RICKY
All right, Paul? [finds BIANCA]
/There/ you are. [sits]

DAVID
[gets up] I better make a phone call, right. I'll see you later, love.

BIANCA
Yeah. Thanks.

RICKY
Sorry, right? I was wrong! If you want Natalie to come an' have it at
your Mum's, then, fine! Just as long as I'm not the one who has to tell
/Pat./

BIANCA
Oh, no! I've taken care of /every/thing!

RICKY
[kisses her]

BIANCA
Got a fiver on you.

RICKY
What for?

BIANCA
Natalie coming for Christmas. I've gotta get her a present, don't I?

RICKY
[amused, gives her money]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The launderette. CAROL and PAULINE smiling, looking at their bonus money.]

CAROL
Oh, now, whee!

ALAN
[entering] Just to tell you. I've just seen Ricky. It's all /sorted./
Christmas Day is definitely at the Butchers'.

CAROL
You sure?

ALAN
Yup.
You can go an' see Pat Butcher if you don't believe me.

CAROL
I will.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The Butchers' living room. JANINE on the phone. DAVID peeks in.]

JANINE
An' what did /you/ say?

DAVID
[whispering] Janine! Hurry up! [goes to kitchen, where PAT's sitting,
doing the books] How much longer is she gonna be on that phone. [plops
down in chair]

PAT
David, let me get this straight. Are you tellin' me that Carol Jackson
wants Christmas dinner over her house?

DAVID
Yeah--you're off the hook, Mum. You can put away the turkey baster--an'
the potato peeler--it's /their/ problem!

PAT
No, I've /bought half/ the vegetables already! The turkey's /ordered!/

DAVID
But look at it this way. If we have it over /here,/ there's no gettin'
/away, is/ there? If we have it over at /their/ house we can be off
before the start of /"The Sound of Music."/ [shouts down the hall]
/Janine! Get off the phone!/

JANINE
[shouting from living room] Drop dead!

PAT
I'm not in the business of accepting /fa/vours off of Carol /Jack/son!
[relieved] Mind you it would be nice to take /easy/ for once.

DAVID
Right. That's settled, then.

Listen I'm supposed to have {s-phoned to this guy by now, I left 'im in
there, now, I'll do it.} [stands] What a joke, eh? Runnin' a business
from a flippin' phone box. It'd be funny if it weren't so sad. [opens
door just as CAROL arrives] Hi Carol! Come on in.

CAROL
[speechless]

PAT
Oh! Uh--Hello, Carol! David's tellin' me you want Christmas 'round
/your/ house.

DAVID
Yeah! We'd be de/light/ed to accept. [quietly to PAT] Won't we, Mum.
[leaves]

PAT
Uhhh, it's, very /kind/ of you, but are you quite sure?
I mean I--I can't let you do everything by yourself, /can/ I?

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Ian's and Cindy's living room. GITA and CINDY are on the couch, having
a visit and tea.]

GITA
It's not nice being lied to, Cindy.

CINDY
Uhh--I didn't want to /involve,/ you, /Gita--/

GITA
But you /did,/ didn't you? I mean all that toothache stuff--an'
/any/way, I thought it was all /ov/er.

CINDY
[feeling dread] Oh, come on! I don't /need/ this!

GITA
Well maybe you should o' thought o' that be/fore,/ you know--

CINDY
Look! I've /broken/ it /off!/ I've finished it com/plete/ly! I feel bad
enough--it--about my/self,/ let alone /you/ puttin' in your two pennyworth!

GITA
You know what's gonna happen if Ian ever finds out, don't you?

CINDY
[beginning to go from remorse to outrage] /Why?/ Are you plannin' on
tellin' him?

GITA
I just think you've been very immature; that's all.

CINDY
So what if I /have/ been immature? An' do you know what? I really
enjoyed it. An' do you know what else? I think you're jealous. Because
you really /fan/cied 'im an' you didn't have the /guts/ to do anything
a/bout/ it.

An' d'you know why? Because you're Miss Goody Two Shoes. Well, /bully
for you,/ Gita! /I wanted sympathy! I wanted a shoulder to *cry* on! The
*last* thing I wanted was you *moral*izin' at me!/

GITA
[it hit home, she's silently crying]

CINDY
Oh, oh, Giter, I'm sorry, look, I--I didn't /mean/ it. [consoling] You
wound me up, but--/Gi/ta..

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Exterior. DAVID in the phone booth talking.]

DAVID
Yeah, that's right.
All right, an' you'll let me know about the Rover sometime after
Christmas, will ya?
Good man.
Okay, then, yeah. Nice to do business with you.
All right. Merry Christmas.
And you, too. All right.
Yeah, bye-bye. [hangs up]
[sighs] Sod it. [absently looking at leaflets, looks amused and picks
one up and leaves with it]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Back at Ian's and Cindy's. GITA and CINDY.]

CINDY
Gita, all I--I'm sorry--I didn't /mean/ to say all those things. I, I
was just feeling upset 'cause I'm mad an' guilty about Ian an'
everything--I--I just need someone to--take it out on.

GITA
[relieved and amused at self] Yeah. The thing is you were right.
Sanjay's right. Everyone's right.

CINDY
[sighs]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The Jacksons'. CAROL's eating in the kitchen and ALAN comes in from
outside.]

ALAN
[walking in] All right love? What's up?

CAROL
[indicates cleaning materials]

ALAN
Well--what's the /point?/ I've got it all /sorted./

CAROL
Oh /yes./ Sorry. Yeah--I'd forgot--you got it all sorted, yeah.

ALAN
Well I told you, at lunchtime.

CAROL
Mm. And um. Where've you been since then?

ALAN
[mimes he was playing pool or snooker]

CAROL
And uh, what exactly did Ricky Butcher say to ya?

ALAN
That it was at the /But/chers', an' that it was a /def/inite.

CAROL
Oh, /right../ So an' that's where you're gonna be, is it, on Christmas
Day--the Butchers'.

ALAN
Yup.

CAROL
[pause] Just the two of ya?

ALAN
Mm-mm.

CAROL
You and Ricky?--'cause everyone else is gonna be /here!/ You've been
misin/formed,/ Alan! Christmas is /here/ an' it always /has/ been!

BIANCA
[comes in, just arrived from outside] Mum, it's all right if Natalie
comes Christmas Day, isn't it?

CAROL
Wwwhat?

BIANCA
W--well, I've already /asked/ her. I 'as just bein' polite--you /can't/
say /no./ Besides, you /owe/ me a favour.

CAROL
What, oh yeah?

BIANCA
Yeah--well, if it weren't for me, Christmas Day would o' been at the
Butchers', wouldn't it? I'm the one who sorted it /out/ for ya.

Mum, suit yourself. I won't bother next time. [leaves]

ALAN
[being reasonable] Carol, you /did say/ you wanted to have it.

CAROL
You, me, all the kids, Biancer, Ricky, Natalie, Pat Butcher, David
Wicks, Janine--

ALAN
Well, I'll tell you what: after dinner, right, we'll get a few other
people around, make it into a /real/ party, eh? I'll spread the word!

CAROL
Well, we'll have to do something.
[goes to dish pile] So, at least you made a start, {ordering} our food.
[looking in refrigerator] Where'd you put it?

ALAN
[hastily leaves]

CAROL
Alan?

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Dusk. Ian's and Cindy's living room. IAN's giving CINDY a neck massage.]

CINDY
Ian?

IAN
What?

CINDY
Do you love me?

IAN
Yeah--o' /course!/ Wha--that's--a--silly question, isn't it?

CINDY
Or is it just something we say to each other out of habit?

IAN
W--what's brought all this on? I thought we were gettin' on all right.

CINDY
Well, I'm--I'm not sayin' we're /not../ I'm just wonderin' what it means
when someone says they love you.

IAN
W--well, /I/ thought it was obvious..

CINDY
Is it?

IAN
Yeah. O' course it is!

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Night in the market. All the market traders are dismantling their
stalls. ALAN's talking to MARK at his stall.]

MARK
[moving a box] No--I'm sorry. I--I can't /do/ it, mate. Special day for
me Mum, you see. She loves to be with the family.

ALAN
Well, they can /all/ come.. Ww--you can bring your Mum, Dad, Ruth,
Michelle, who/ev/er.

MARK
Yeah, I will do.

ALAN
[amused] Is that a definite?

MARK
Heh, heh--No.

ALAN
[quietly] Mark.

MARK
[still moving stuff] Uh--

ALAN
What I give to you this mornin', you didn't keep it on the side by any
chance, did ya?

MARK
[pauses] No.

ALAN
[nods] Didn't think so.
[sees IAN run by] Ian!

IAN
Sorry, Alan--I--I ain't got time!

[ALAN goes over to SANJAY.]

ALAN
Yeah, /San/jay!

SANJAY
[loading a box into the van] Give us a hand, mate, cheers.

ALAN
[helps] What you doin' Christmas Day? Do you fancy a booze-up at our place?

SANJAY
Sure! Why not?

ALAN
Look, any time after three, all right? Bring a bottle, an' anyone else
you wanted to.

SANJAY
[done loading box] All right.

ALAN
Good. [turns to leave]

SANJAY
Hey Alan--uh, Gita's not comin', is she?

ALAN
Why--do you /want/ her to be.

SANJAY
Nooo, I was just, uh, just /won/dering. [continues packing]

ALAN
[amused] Oh, right.

[CAROL's just coming by, smiling at ALAN.]

ALAN
[to CAROL] Hello, love.

CAROL
Got Christmas /Bo/nus today..

ALAN
Yeah!?

CAROL
An' to /cele/brate, I'm gonna buy meself a drink. /Mean/while, /you,/
are gonna go home an' clean that kitchen like you said you would, an' if
it's not done by the time I get back, you'll not be a happy man--Ooo!
An' seein' as you didn't /get/ those vegetables, I think that's ten quid
you owe me.

ALAN
[somewhat cheerfully sighs, digs in his pocket and hands her the money]

CAROL
Thank you. [leaves]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The Vic, CAROL enters. It's crowded and noisy in there. PAULINE and
GITA are sitting at the bar and PAULINE sees CAROL.]

PAULINE
[calling over] Carol! Carol, come here. [when CAROL gets there] Want a
drink?

CAROL
Yeah. I'll have: large vodka.

PAULINE
Yeah, why not? It's Christmas.

CAROL
Here--/Gi/ta--how're you fixed for Christmas Day?

GITA
Oh, {don't think I'd bother.}

CAROL
Well, listen, there's gonna be a party at my place--uh--you're very
welcome. Any time after three..

GITA
Oh, thanks.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[DAVID comes into the Vic and finds CINDY at a booth alone.]

DAVID
Your old man about?

CINDY
Uhhh--over there.

DAVID
Got a sec?

CINDY
Yeah--why?

DAVID
[sits] Listen, uh. I was in the phone box today, an' I /found/ something.

CINDY
[looks scared]

DAVID
I wasn't gonna mention it, but, uh, I thought maybe, someone 'round here
had it /in/ for you. So I think you should know. Here. It's not very
nice. [pulls notice out of coat]

CINDY
Show me.

DAVID
[handing it to her] Here.
Any idea who'd uh.. write something like that?

CINDY
[just looks at it]

DAVID
There's some sick people about, i'n' they?
[takes it and stands] I'll tell you what. [tearing it up] Best if we
keep this to ourselves, yeah? [turns to leave]

CINDY
David?

DAVID
[turns and stops]

CINDY
Thanks.

DAVID
[acknowledges her--seems half nice, half 'you owe me one,' and leaves]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Elsewhere in the noisy Vic, merry-makers are standing in a circle
talking: In front by the camera/us are GITA and CAROL, and, from left to
right, the rest are: NIGEL, DEBS, ART, PAULINE, and MARK. There's a lot
of talking over each other.]

PAULINE
You know, when I first met him, he was the most /terrible pick/up--

ART
Excuse me!?!

PAULINE
Yes, you /were!/

MARK
Oh, come on!

PAULINE
I had to show him how to do it properly--he 'as all /slob/bery!

ART
/She's makin' it *up!*/

MARK
Please! Mum!

PAULINE
What's the matter with /you?/

MARK
Well, there are certain /things/ that a son just doesn't want to /know/
about!

[Everyone's amused--laughter.]

ART
She thinks--it's /all lies/--she thinkin' of her an' Buddy Mason!

PAULINE
Buddy Mason!--

ART
Yeah!

PAULINE
[laughing] Nearly /thirty years,/ he's still jealous of Buddy Mason!

ART
More lies! /More lies!/ [laughs]

CAROL
We'll see you from three o'clock, onwards, yeah? [is leaving]

MARK
Yeah, yeah, great, yeah.

CAROL
Great. [to NIGE and DEBS] See you both then.

DEBS
[to NIGE, who'd nodded] W--what's all this?

NIGE
Uh, Carol's asked us over her place after Christmas dinner--an' I've, uh--

DEBS
Uh, yeah.

CAROL
Yeah, Gita'll be there--quick drink, it'd be great--

NIGE
All right--/cheers,/ yeah.

CAROL
Ta-ta.

NIGE
/See/ ya! [to DEBS] I said I'm sorry.

[GITA looks nicely/wistfully at SANJAY playing darts and he barely
acknowledges her.]

GITA
[to NIGE] Right, I better get off, I'll see you later, then.

NIGE
All right--see you.

PAULINE
Bye..

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[IAN and SANJAY playing darts. SANJAY's looking after GITA ambivalently.]

IAN
Well, /go on,/ Sanjay, {get us} your arrows.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The Jacksons'. ALAN goes toward kitchen, having heard CAROL come in the
house.]

ALAN
Carol. [surprised] You idiot!

CAROL
What?

ALAN
That was my /floor,/ that was!

CAROL
[looks down and sees it's got dirt smudges]

ALAN
Do you know how long that took me to /get/ it like that?! [doorbell rings]

[CAROL heads for door]

ALAN
[follows] Well, aren't ya gonna /say/ nothink?!!

[CAROL opens door. It's PAT.]

PAT
I hope I'm not interruptin' anything, only I uh should o' given you this
this afternoon. [handing her a large bag of groceries]

Just a little contribution. I'm sure you could use it.

CAROL
Thanks a lot.

PAT
Well, I won't stop--I can see you're busy.

[CAROL nods and shuts door. PAT's got a bit of a smug look on.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Exterior of the Vic. The CROWD's leaving. Boozy cheerful singing, dogs
are barking in the square. ART and PAULINE have mistletoe and they stop
outside to kiss.]

ART
Now: was that slobbery?! A straight answer: yes or no?!

PAULINE
I said you were slobbery /then./ You're not slobbery /now./

ART
[amused] Come on! [they continue home]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[NIGEL and DEBS are also heading home.]

NIGE
[singing lightly] "..jingle all the way. Oh what fun--" Ooh, I love
Christmas. I love Santa. I love /tur/key. I love the little baby Jesus.
I love Clare. An' I love you. Most of all: I love you. Oh, I'm really
sorry about sayin' yes to Carol but, I bet we have a really good tiime.
An' look. Look--I found it in the pub. [they kiss and giggle because he
has mistletoe]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[In the Vic, SHARON's at the door saying goodbye to the last PUNTERS and
STAFF. STEVE's behind the bar.]

SHARON
Night Trace--see you later.

TRACY
[leaving] Bye Sharon.

[SHARON shuts and locks the door.]

STEVE
All right, I'm off--up.

SHARON
All right. Night Steve.

STEVE
All right. I see someone swiped all the mistletoe again.

SHARON
Mmm--so what's /new?/

GRANT
[comes up, a looming presence, right up to her] Except. For this. [holds
up mistletoe, waiting]
No. Forget it. [goes away]

SHARON
[is relieved]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[SANJAY's walking home in the dark. A car goes by. At his door is GITA,
cautious, with a gift.]

GITA
Sanjay?

SANJAY
What're /you/ doing here? Who's lookin' after Sharamila?

GITA
Ruth: she agreed to stay on. [hands him the package]
Merry Christmas. I bought it for you this afternoon. But don't open it now.

SANJAY
I don't get you.

GITA
[serious] I'm trying to say sorry, Sanjay. I'm trying to say that you
were right and I was wrong. That's very hard for me, so, don't make it
any harder, please? It was very generous of you to buy all those things.
I was wrong to react how I did.

SANJAY
What's brought this on?

GITA
Doesn't matter. Just say you'll come for Christmas. Please?

SANJAY
I said I'll, uh, go to the Jacksons'.

GITA
[laughs]

SANJAY
What's so funny?

GITA
[laughs] So have I.
Well. We could give the Jacksons' a miss, couldn't we?

SANJAY
Yeah.

GITA
Right--to tell you the truth, I was dreading it.

So; you'll come?

SANJAY
[quietly] Yeah. [regular voice] Friends?

GITA
Yeah: friends. [leaves, smiling, nice]

-boom- -boom- -boom-boom-

------------------------------------------------------------------------
[show's time: 27:00]
[*Credit Roll* with theme music. Long version of exit theme: Save music
<http://www.oocities.org/tvtranscripts/eastenders/eastend_end_long.mp3>
(1mb mp3).]
[time: 00:30; total with intro and credits: 27:57]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Transcript of the *next* episode (the next Sunday, Christmas Day)
<http://www.oocities.org/tvtranscripts/eastenders/ee112.htm>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Return to the Television Transcript Project
<http://www.oocities.org/tvtranscripts/index.htm>
email <mailto:suzannem@frii.net?Subject=TV%20Transcript%20of%20EE%20111>

Last Updated: 5 Feb 2000

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