* * * * *
                                        
               You mean it's another one of those talk like days?
                                        
“So where are the Christmas decorations?” 

“Not here.” 

“I can see that.” 

“So why ask?” 

“Because … because it's Christmas. It's the holiday season!” 

“There are other holidays this time of year other than Christmas.” 

“You have got to be kidding me.” 

“No, I'm not. Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Saturnalia—” 

“Saturnalia?” 

“Saturnalia.” 

“What the XXXX is ‘Saturnalia?’” 

“Please, don't cuss in my blog.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Accepted.” 

“Okay, but what the … beep is—” 

“You just said ‘beep.’” 

“Yes.” 

“Why did you say ‘beep?’” 

“Because you just told me not to cuss in your blog.” 

“So instead of reworking your sentance to exclude the swear word, you
actually beeped yourself?” 

“Yes.” 

“You're weird.” 

“Be that as it may, you still haven't answered my question.” 

“Which is—” 

“What the beep (and please, don't make a fuss about me beeping myself; I'm
not the one with problems cussing) is ‘Saturnalia?’” 

“Okay, remove the religious overtones of Christmas.” 

“Okay.” 

“And what do you have left?” 

“Eating. Giving presents. Decorating. Buying stuff you don't need and going
horribly into debt.” 

“And that is Saturnalia.” 

Blink. Blink. 

“Okay, move it to ancient Rome and you have Saturnalia.” 

“And you called me wierd?” 

“Hey, modern Christmas is all but Saturnalia in name.” 

“Okay, so where are the Saturnalia decorations?” 

“Not here. Too much trouble.” 

“Too much trouble tossing up a tree and a few lights?” 

“Too much trouble. Especially following The Rules [1].” 

“The Rules.” 

“The Rules. No 50s lights. No multicolored lights. Restrictions on wicker
reindeer. Stuff like that.” 

“There are restrictions on wicker reindeer?” 

“Yup. Neighbors get upset at reenactments of The Wicker Man [2].” 

“Reenactments of—wait a second!” 

“Hello, yes?” 

“Our bantering.” 

“Yes.” 

“Back and forth.” 

“Yes, we're bantering back and forth.” 

“It wouldn't happen to be ‘Talk Like Michael Bendis Day [3]’ today, would
it?” 

“It would so happen to be ‘Talk Like Michael Bendis Day’ today.” 

“What a geek.” 

“Why thank you.” 

[1] http://gkingsley.livejournal.com/184326.html
[2] http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070917/
[3] http://theferrett.livejournal.com/632408.html

Email author at sean@conman.org