# Day 12

## Wed Jul 24 11:24:00 EDT 2024

So I got MetaArray access yesterday. I emailed membership a second
time after waiting two weeks and I got a response so fast that I'm
thinking that I had to have made a mistake with the first email.

Anyways, I probably will use that for Gemini hosting[0], though I
did play with X forwarding on there.

I have long felt that Gemini probably would be best for publishing
fiction. I had lacked ideas for years, but I read "Joe Nobody vs
Elan School"[1] a month or so ago, and it gave me ideas that have
been fermenting in my head.

I related to a weird amount of what Joe Nobody went through, as
well as previously relating to stories about Scientology to the
point where I am realizing that I was in a cult back when I was a
teenager. Or rather, I tried to join the cult, but I was too
autistic to notice the hazing rituals as anything other than cruel.
Still left me oodles of trauma relating to gender. It seems that
they were a radfem cult that shifted from mildly trans-exclusionary
to very trans-"inclusionary"[2].

It probably will need massive content warnings though, and I may
not even host it on SDF, as I may not end up publishing it under
my name.

## Wed Jul 24 12:53:15 EDT 2024

I think I'll just publish the story on Gemini. Gemini needs more
exclusive content that isn't strictly technical. :-P

---
[0]: gemini://gem.sdf.org/sinza/
[1]: https://elan.school
[2]: Trans "inclusive" radical feminism is an oxymoron. They may
include trans women, but they actively drive trans men and
transmascs to suicide.  Because this cult actively tried to exclude
me from being trans on the basis of being nonbinary, I felt that
I had to be a trans guy to be accepted... only to be rejected
because I actively rejected being a woman. I still struggle with
feeling outside the cis/trans binary partly because of these jerks.