The Gopher Times
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Opus 1 - Gopher news and more - Nov. 2021
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A Newspaper for Gopher josuah
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Starting from today, The Gopher Times is going to be
published. How can a paper-oriented journal make
sense in this hypermedia [1] era?
Rather than a continuous feed of upmost shocking
headlines, The Gopher Times publishes news you can
read without a cookiewall or paywall.
Paper newspapers go through a long chain: reporters,
photographers, redactors, editors, columnists, layout
artists, typesetters, printers, carriers and other
supportive technicians... and are sold for a quarter.
The web considerably shackled the landscape: the high
speed of computers made real-time text news a reality,
where time from Trump's tweet announcements to
publication is below a few hours.
This journal diverts the present norm by 90° by using
troff(1) as its foundation: a typesetter producing
static documents ready to be printed.
A new markdown to troff converter [2] as well as an
entire custom macro set mw [3] are built to fit
screens of all shapes, and build-up the sensibility of
an actual journal.
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[1]
term used by Roy Fielding (Apache httpd)
[2]
git://git.z0.is/notmarkdown
[3]
git://bitreich.org/tgtimes
This month in Nixers Book Club nixers
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There are a lot of books in a library, and it is the
role of teachers to build up a sequence of books to
learn a topic. This Nixers.net forum thread follows
the path of Operating System and UNIX working and
design.
The UNIX Programming Environment: from shell scripting
to C programming with UNIX system calls by Kernighan
himself.
https://nixers.net/showthread.php?tid=2390
The UNIX-HATERS Handbook: A semi-humorous edited
compilation of messages to the UNIX-HATERS mailing
list.
https://nixers.net/showthread.php?tid=2417
The Art of Unix Programming: by Eric S. Raymond,
history and culture of Unix programming
https://nixers.net/showthread.php?tid=2466
Computer Science from the Bottom Up: a shop class for
computer science: where do you go to learn what is
under the hood?
https://nixers.net/showthread.php?tid=2508
The good old web nixers
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That thread in the Nixers.net forum proposes to
recognize a website given a small screenshot.
Hackers sometimes build webpages for a software
project, a community, even an error page, which never
ever changed. Website appearance sometimes enter deep
into our memories.
We remember places we lived in, faces of people we
met... but also how web pages look? Are web pages
like places we frequently visit? You might be
surprised:
https://nixers.net/Thread-Web-Tag
Analgram Authentication 20h
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As you know, bitreich is always ahead of time and
in introducing new technology. We now offer members
the authentication to all services via
gopher://bitreich.org/I/memecache/bitreich-2fa.jpg
Via your analprint scan you are distinguished from
all other humans. No other human has such an analprint
as you have. You are special.
In case you want to authenticate, come on #bitreich-
anal on IRC and send the picture of your analprint. We
call this the analgram authentication. It is secure,
cannot be easily copied and the biometric feature
is hidden for most of your life. No simple photo can
steal this credential.
Current work is done to make this a standard for all
U.S. and EU funded projects and contracts. Hopefully
the future is anal-gram!
Sincerely yours, Chief Backwater Officer (CRO)
BAN Party on 2021-10-03 20h
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This Sunday, on 2021-10-03, at 13:00 UTC, we will
have another BAN party, to play the new Supertuxkart
release. There are new tracks, new drivers and more
fun. For this BAN party we set a new time at 1pm, so
friends from America and Australia can join in at a
natural time.
Sincerely yours, Main Gaming Officer (MGO)
BAN Party Results 20h
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Today we had a two part BAN party. The first onw
was teeworlds, since this was easily running and
through a community effort openra in the newest
appimage got setup in some virtualbox debianesque
setup on FreeBSD. It really ran. And so in a
combined effort of Dutch Australian and German armies,
we defeated the enemies using all kind of weaponry,
from naval to aircraft units. Long live Bitreich!
Yes, it was very much fun.
Next time with more players we can play even bigger
maps. Everyone is invited!
Sincerely yours, Chief Gaming Officer (CGO)
Other newspaper projects josuah
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OpenBSD Webzine: As a complement to undeadly.org, the
OpenBSD Webzine provides a condensed summary of what
is new on OpenBSD.
https://webzine.puffy.cafe/
The Webpage: Aggregation of multiple RSS feeds,
rendered server-side into a paper newspaper looking
page. Similarly to The Gopher Times, the layout of
the document published is static.
https://webzine.puffy.cafe/
Low-Tech Magazine: This magazine published a
simplistic version for its solar-powered server,
with dithered images and other techniques to save
bandwidth and reducing the workload server-side.
https://solar.lowtechmagazine.com
10k Meme BAN party on 2021-10-31 20h
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The Bitreich Meme database is approaching 10k memes.
To celebrate this, we will hold a BAN party on
2021-10-31 on 11:00 GMT (12:00 CET). The time is
adapted so bitreich people from America and
Australia can join in at the same time.
Games we will play:
• OpenRA Dune2k, CNC and RA Be sure to have a current
version due to multiplayer protocol changes.
• Teeworlds
• SuperTuxKart on extreme level Be sure to run the
newest version because of new race tracks and
characters.
• Armagetronad
• Wireguard
• Whatever game you like to play.
Everyone is welcome. We will be using a mumble server
for instant audio talk, where the details are
revealed on #bitreich-en on BAN party day. Please
join there to get further details.
Sincerely yours, Chief BAN Officer (CBO)
World of Animals 0x1bi
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Back in the nineties when Windowds 3.1 was still very
much a thing, my old man, while doing his post
graduated studies, found this story on some Russian
usenet group, saved it, printed it out, posted it in
his office.
Years later he made the mistake of giving me the
internet. And I found the same story, now on the world
wide web.
I've taken the time to translate the story from
Russian to English such that everyone can enjoy the
gifts of Russian usenet koans.
Enjoy responsibly.
>> Медведь был безобpазным, косолапым и гpязным
животным. Однако добpее его не было никого во всем
лесy. Hо звеpи замечали только его внешность, на что
Медведь жyтко обижался, ловил их и жестоко избивал
ногами. Поэтомy звеpи его не любили. Хотя он был
очень добpым. И веселым. Он любил задоpные шyтки. За
эти шyтки звеpи его скоpо жyтко возненавидели и били.
Да, тpyдно быть на свете добpым и веселым.
The bear was a filthy, clumsy, and dirty animal.
However, no one was as loving as he was in the whole
forest. But the animals only saw his exterior, to
which the bear became upset, caught them, and brutaly
beat them with his legs. Even though he was very
loving. And happy. He loved practical jokes. For these
jokes the animals started to hate the bear and beat
him. Yes, it;s hard to be loving and happy.
>> Волк был тоже безобpазным и гpязным. И еще он был
очень злым и жестоким. Hо звеpи не испытывали к немy
ненависти и не били. Потомy, что Волк yмеp еще в
pаннем детстве. Потомy, что Медведь pодился pаньше
Волка. Да, хоpошо, когда Добpо побеждает Зло.
The wolf was also filthy and dirty. He was also very
evil and cruel. But the animals din't hate him and
didn't beat him. Because the wolf died early in his
childhood. Because the bear was born before the wolf.
Yes, it's good when good triumphs over evil.
>> Заяц тоже был злым и жестоким. И гpязным. И еще он
был тpyсливым. Гадостей Заяц никомy никогда не делал.
Потомy, что боялся. Hо его все pавно сильно били.
Потомy, что Зло всегда должно быть наказано.
The rabbit was also evil and cruel. And dirty. He was
also a coward. The rabbit never commited any evil as
he was scared. But he was still beaten. Because evil
must be punished.
>> И Дятел тоже был злым и жестоким. Он не бил звеpей,
потомy, что y него не было pyк. Поэтомy, он вымещал
свою злость на деpевьях. Его не били. Потомy, что не
могли дотянyться. Однажды его пpидавило насмеpть
yпавшее деpево. Поговаpивали, что оно отомстило.
После этого звеpи целый месяц боялись мочиться на
деpевья. Они мочились на Зайца. Заяц пpостyдился и
yмеp. Всем было ясно, что во всем был виноват Дятел.
Hо его не тpонyли. Посколькy не смогли выковыpять
из-под yпавшего деpева. Да, Зло иногда остается
безнаказанным.
The woodpecker was also evil and cruel. He didn't beat
animals, as he didn't have any arms. So he took his
anger out on trees. He was not beaten, as no one could
reach him. One day a tree crushed him to death. The
animals said it took revenge. After that, then animals
were afraid of pissing on trees for a month. Instead
they pissed on the rabbit. The rabbit got a cold and
died. Everyone knew that the woodpecker was at fault.
But he wasn't beaten, as no one could get him out from
the fallen tree. Yes, sometimes evil remains
unpunished.
>> Кpот был маленьким и слепым. Он не был злым. Он
пpосто хоpошо делал свое дело. Это он подъел деpево,
котоpое yпало на дятла. Об этом никто не yзнал, и
поэтомy его не избили. Его вообще били pедко. Чаще
пyгали. Hо его было очень тpyдно испyгать, потомy что
он был слепой и не видел, что его пyгают. Когда не
yдавалось испyгать Кpота, звеpи очень огоpчались. И
били Медведя. Потомy, что им было очень обидно.
Однажды Медведь тоже захотел испyгать Кpота. Hо Кpот
не испyгался. Потомy, что Медведь его yбил.
Hечаянно. Пpосто Медведь был очень неyклюжим. И
звеpи его очень сильно избили. Даже, несмотpя на то,
что Медведь сказал, что пошyтил. Плохо, когда твои
шyтки никто не понимает.
The mole was small and blind. He was not evil. He just
did his job really well. It was he who dug under the
tree which fell on the woodpecker. No one knew about
his digging and he was not beaten. He was rarely
beaten. More often scared. But it was really hard to
scare him as he was blind, and didn't see that he was
being scared. When the animals were unable to scare
the mole they became very upset. And beat the bear.
One day the bear decided to sacre the mole. But he
didn't scare the mole. Because he killed him.
Accidentally. As he was very clumsy. And the animals
brutally beat him for killing the mole, even though
the bear said it was a prank. It's unfortunate when no
one understands your pranks.
>> Лиса была очень хитpой. Она могла запpосто
обхитpить кого yгодно. Когда ей это yдавалось, то ее
не били. Hо иногда ей не везло. И ее били. Били всем
лесом. И она yже не могла кого-нибyдь обхитpить.
Потомy, что очень тpyдно го-нибyдь обхитpить, когда
тебя бьют. Однажды ее избили до смеpти. Да, жилда
всегда на пpавдy выйдет.
The fox was very cunning. She could easily outsmart
anyone. When she could outsmart someone, she was not
beaten. But when she coudln't, she was beaten. Hard.
And at that point she couldn't outsmart anyone, as
it's hard to outsmart someone when you're being
beaten. One day she was beaten to death. Yes, truth
will always come to light.
>> Кабан был большой, сильный и стpашный. Его все
очень боялись. И поэтомy его били только всем лесом.
Или пpосто кидали в него камнями. Кабан этого очень
не любил. И однажды ночью он спpятал все камни в
лесy. За это его очень сильно избили. Больше Кабан
никогда не пpятал камни. Воистинy говоpят - вpемя
собиpать камни и вpемя их не тpогать никогда.
The boar was big, strong, and scary. Everyone was
scared of him. That is why he was always beaten with
the whole forest. Or simply stoned him. The boar
didn't like that. One day he hid all of the stones in
the forest. For the he was beaten really hard. After
that, the boar never hid stones. And so they say,
there is time to collect stones, and time to not touch
them.
>> Козел не был ни злым, ни добpым. Он был пpосто
Козел. н часто козлил. И его боялись бить. И он
своим козловством всех достал. И тогда его избили до
смеpти. Потомy, что иначе он бы yмеp от стаpости.
Когда-нибyдь. Когда Козел yмеp, Медведь сильно
плакал. Потомy, что он в тайне любил Козла. Да,
любовь зла, полюбишь и Козла.
The goat was neither good nor evil. He was a goat. He
often goated. And the animals were scared of beating
him. With his goatness he got on everyones nerves. And
he was beaten to death, because otherwise he would
have died of old age. Someday. After the goat died,
the bear cried, because he secretly loved the goat.
Yes, love is a cruel mistress.
>> Ежик был маленький и колючий. Он кололся. Он не был
злым, он кололся по своей пpиpоде. Из-за этого его
били только в живот. Ежик этого не любил и стал
бpиться наголо. И тогда его стали бить как всех. Да,
очень тpyдно быть не таким как все.
The hedgehog was small and prickly. He wasn't evil, he
was prickly by his own nature. For that he was beaten
exclusively in the stomach. And so the hedgehog
started shaving bald. And he was beaten like everyone
else. Yes, it's hard to be not like everyone else.
>> Скyнс был почти таким, как Заяц. Hо только очень
нючим. Он плохо пахнyл. Его били только в
полиэтиленовом пакете. Тогда запах был не такой
сильный. Однажды y Скyнса был день pождения. Он
пpигласил всех звеpей, потомy, что был жадным и любил
подаpки. И звеpи подаpили емy новый полиэтиленовый
пакет. И сильно избили до потеpи сознания. И Скyнс
задохнyлся в пакете. Так его и похоpонили. В пакете.
В очень Дальнем Лесy. Потомy, что меpтвый Скyнс вонял
еще сильнее. Потом пpишли жители Очень Дальнего Леса
и в сех сильно избили. Им не понpавился запах
меpтвого Скyнса. Да, с соседями надо жить в миpе.
The skunk was very much like rabbit. But very smelly.
He was beaten only inside a plastic bag, because then
the smell wasn't as bad. One day the skunk had a
birthday party, and he invited all of the animals as
he was greedy and he loved presents. The animals got
him a new plastig bag. And then proceeded to beat him
until loss of consciousness. The skunk then suffocated
inside the bag. That is how he was buried. In the
plastic bag. In the very far away forest, as a dead
skunk smelt worse than a living skunk. Then the
animals from the very far away forest came and beat
everyone hard. They didn't like the smell of the dead
skunk. Yes, you must love your neighbour.
>> Хомяк был тоже очень жадным. И богатым. Если бы он
делился своим богатством, его бы били не так сильно.
Hо он был очень жадным. За это его били сильно. И емy
все pавно пpиходилось делиться. И он гоpько плакал.
Да, богатые тоже плачyт.
The hasmter was also very greedy. And rich. If he
shared his riches he woudn't be beaten as hard. But he
was greedy. And he was beaten hard. And he still had
to share his riches. For that he cried. Yes, even rich
people cry.
>> Лев был цаpь звеpей. Он пpавил лесом. Цаpей бить не
положено. Это закон. Hо звеpи давно забили на закон.
Звеpи били и льва. Hи за что. Потомy, что так yж
здесь повелось.
The lion was king. He ruled the forest. You're not
supposed to beat kings. Such is the law. But the
animals gave a fuck about the law. They beat the lion.
Why? That's just how things go in forest.
>> Моpаль: А зоpи здесь тихие...
Moral: Sunrises here are quiet...
Publishing in The Gopher Times you
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Want your article published? Want to announce
something to the Gopher world? Directly related to
Gopher or not, reach us on IRC with an article in any
format, we will handle the rest.
ircs://irc.bitreich.org/#bitreich-en