________  ________  ________
   2018-05-19                                   /        \/        \/    /   \
                                               /       __/         /_       _/
   I think I mentioned  in another file that  /        _/         /         /
in  the months  leading up to our holiday my  \_______/_\___/____/\___/____/_
partner and  I started  a  very low  calorie    /        \/        \/    /   \
diet  or  VLCD.  It  wasn't  really for  the   /        _/         /_       _/
holiday,  it  was something we'd  just  been  /-        /        _/         /
half  thinking  about  for  a while  and  we  \________/\________/\___/____/
finally felt  like  "Why are we just talking
about this and not doing it?".

   We've been  calorie  counting  off  and on with some  fair results but this
would be a proper diet.

   We opted  to  use  Nestle's  Optifast  program, there  are a  lot  of  meal
replacement type programs around  but Optifast had  one thing the  other  ones
didn't seem to have; an end point. The other programs kind of "wound down" the
meal replacements until  you  were down to one a  day and regular  food, which
makes sense from a product standpoint, you  want people to continue giving you
money hahaha, but Optifast's  planner has  a clearly  scheduled transition off
the product entirely and I kinda really respect that.

   Aside from that it's the standard shakes and bars meal supplement deal, the
shakes were mostly pretty nice,  the bars  were not that great but not  so bad
that I wanted to quit. I think that Nestle was involved made things a bit more
palatable,  they know sweets. There's  also desserts and  soups  but  we never
tried those.

   They warn  you that  the first  three or four days are going to  be hellish
and, you know, they were fuckin' right,  holy shit.  My body just freaked  out
hard and I ended  up with headaches  and a migraine and cravings  so hardcore,
but after that it calmed down  and everything  was pretty cool. Once it really
got  going it  played into my using routine  to  manage anxiety too, so it was
quite good.

   The results, too,  just amazing. We lost heaps and it STAYED off, even when
we  had  moments  of  weakness or,  uh,  three or four successive  moments  of
weakness. It was actually a little bit frustrating how quickly the weight came
off, in it's own way, because  your  clothes stop  fitting  but  you're  still
losing weight so you don't want  to buy anything  new  because you know you're
just going to shrink out of them again haha.

   We definitely plan to go back on the  diet once we're home,  I  think I was
about 1/3 to my ultimate goal after only a month and a half.

   I'm sorry, I know that shit reads like an infomercial.

   But all this was before our trip... jump cut to me wasted on a couch in the
'States, covered in crumbs and oil, surrounded by trash.

   I am  not ashamed  to  admit I love to eat shit.  I love  McDonald's triple
cheeseburgers, I love  soggy, oily pizza. I love  shit  from  the microwave, I
love shit from the Costco diner.  I love chips and cake and Coca-Cola. Garbage
food makes me happy.

   So here I am in the land of junk food and I can tell you, I'm going hard.

   I have  fallen deeply  in love with  these Raybern's  brand  frozen  Philly
Cheesesteak sandwiches. Holy shit they're so good. Costco sells boxes of  like
eight of those fuckers and I just slam right through them.

   Fuck.

   I think I'm gonna nuke one up right now.

   There's also  a company in  this part of  the  States called Tim's  Cascade
Snacks that makes killer jalapeno potato chips. Damn.

   The other day  we went to Chick-fil-A and oh boy it lived  up to the  hype,
one of  the best fast food chicken sandwiches I've  ever  had, super thick and
moist. The vibe in there is  super weird though, their politics aside. I guess
maybe it's because they're new to  this  area  and franchises are springing up
all over but  the kitchen was FULL of staff, there  had to have been  at least
fourteen of them  crowded behind the two registers and  in the small  kitchen,
and they were all  teenage girls  and  all but  two were  white and blonde, or
light brown haired at best. It felt like some Midwich Cuckoos shit.

   We've also hit up Taco Bell a bunch and God I love it. The perfect level of
quality and hot garbage, and their Fire sauce is so nice. They have this place
here called Taco Time which is a bit more authentic and also really delicious.

   I've eaten Chinese  food  and  teriyaki, we don't  have  teriyaki joints in
Melbourne as far  as I've  seen.  We've been  to  Olive  Garden and Cheesecake
Factory, where the  middle  class can feel upper middle class haha, and  don't
get me started on how much I love Arby's.

   We also had some authentic Korean food and  let me tell you, if you haven't
tried spam fried rice you need to get in on that. It's so delicious.

   Damn ok, I've  gotta go fix me one  of those  sandwiches and some  jalapeno
chips.

   PS. The beer here is also really excellent.



EOF